Retrieval done -- Weird experience!!!

Laenae · 03-07-2005, 02:25 PM

On my way to my bloodwork and sono this morning, who do you think I ran into in the elevator at the clinic? The donor and her DH!!!! Can you believe it? Well, of course, I was at an advantage as I selected my donor and knew what she looked like and she does not know what I look like. I had pictures of her DH too so I recognized him as well. I tried not to stare and be found out and acted nonchalantly. Thank God the elevator was crowded. Well, she is more beautiful in person than in all of her pictures. But that is not all. I accompanied my DH about an hour later on the floor where they do the IVFs so that he could produce his semen sample and who do you think the only person in the waiting room was? Well it was the donor's DH. He looked at us as we walked in and sat down. I did not know where to look and quickly grabbed a magazine to read so that I would not have to look in his direction. I wonder what he was thinking as we were the only other people there and my DH was in an out just to give a sample, and I wasn't there for an IVF!!! God only knows. I found it to be really bizarre.

I won't know the fertilization results until tomorrow.

Will keep you posted.

Love,

Laenae

50/50 · 03-07-2005, 02:51 PM

Wow! That is unbelievalbe. I thought about that situation happening with my donor but thought it would be impossible to have that happen since I'm sure they would schedule us at different times just to avoid that situation.

OMG...did you just want to ask her a million questions? That is really neat you got to see your donor in the flesh and thought she was more beautiful in person.

How many eggs did they retreive?
Good luck on your embies...can't wait to hear the news.

Laenae · 03-07-2005, 04:25 PM

I did not select a donor from my Clinic because they do not let you see photos from their pool of donors. I chose an outside agency. I go to RMA of NY. I doubt that the folks that scheduled this retrieval knew the circumstances of how I chose my donor, but still... I would have thought that precautions would have been made for this type of thing potentially happening. Thank God my donor did not know how my DH and I look otherwise it would really have been uncomfortable. Afterwards, I called the agency of where I selected my donor and told them what happend. They couldn't believe it. In any event, it was great to be able to see my donor in the flesh. Her pictures did not do her any justice now that I know what she looks like face to face. In a way, I wish I could have just reached out and told her that I was the recipient. I wanted to thank her for what she has gone through these past few weeks and the time they took from their lives for my benefit. She and her DH looked like a great couple. They really looked like the type of people I could have been friends with. I really wanted to just hug them both and thank them over and over again.

When I got home from the Clinic, I got an email from the agency. My donor sent the agency photos of her trip here in NY and the agency forwarded them to me. Looks like Donor and DH had a fantastic time here doing the tourist thing. I am glad.

I won't know any fertilization/retrieval results until tomorrow morning from RMA of NY. I am going to contact my donor's agency to see if they heard anything. The waiting is going to drive me crazy.

Also, I will know Thursday morning if they will do transfer in the afternoon or Saturday.

Will keep you posted.

Love,
Laenae

50/50 · 03-07-2005, 04:45 PM

I still can't get over it...cuz I am also using an agency and would think they would take precautions for this type of thing not to happen. Especially since it is an "anonymous" donor. Wow...it gave me chills to hear what you wanted to express to her. It such a wonderful gift...I wonder if they really know how much it means to us?

My doctor told me that they would call me with the # of eggs the day of retreival. So I am surprised yours did not. I guess every office is different. I can hardly wait to hear the results!

Good luck to you and please keep us all posted.

Thinking of you!
50/50

**BC-MAV** · 03-07-2005, 05:26 PM

That is just TOO COOL!!! I was hoping to see our 2nd ED again when she had the retrieval but she was probably in and out. We had met her a few days before for dinner so we did meet and get to talk to her "in the flesh".

The report of how many eggs might be considered the ED's medical information and not able to be released without her consent. Once things are fertlized they are YOURS. Perhaps that's why they don't give you an egg report.

I have always wondered about the men I see in the IVF clinics when they are sitting there by themself or they go in a room by themself. I wonder if they are someone's DH or they are donating sperm. I think everyone wonders about the men and women there. I know I have... ie. what's their story. Either way a SD or an ED... they are doing a wonderful thing for couples like us ttc!

Laenae · 03-07-2005, 05:30 PM

but it did. This was my first experience with this clinic. I switched from my RE of 8 years to cycle at RMA. RMA is such a big Clinic and they do bloodwork/sonos/consults on one floor and IVF procedures on another. My appt. was between 7-9 in the AM. I was running late and got there at 9 AM. DH's appt. was not until 10:45. All my other appts., I always made it for my appts. at 7:30 AM or so. Today I was figured I would be a little late as I did not want DH to wait so long for his appt. And, by chance, I get to see my donor! Unreal.......!!!!

This afternoon when I got home, the nurse coordinator left a voicemail message of what meds to take and to come in on Wednesday for another sono and bloodwork and about what to do on Thursday. When I e-mailed the nurse and inquired about the number of eggs retrieved, she replied that she would not know until the morning........ so here I wait... although disappointed.

I, too, often wonder what donors think about their recipients. I don't think there is a greater gift one can give of themselves such as the gift they give us. I hope in my heart she truly has an idea of what chance she may be giving us.

THanks 50/50 for your well wishes.

Love,
Laenae

Laenae · 03-07-2005, 05:52 PM

It was really an unbelievable experience. I never in a million years thought I would see the donor.

It is great you were able to meet your donor. Do you still keep in contact?

Part of me wishes I would be able to meet, have dinner with and get to know my donor. Part of me, however, also thinks it should be anonymous as in our contracts.

You are most likely right about not knowing the egg results. I can think of no other reason why they would not tell me how many were retrieved.

Will keep you posted.

Love,
Laenae

emmaalso · 03-07-2005, 07:19 PM

THat is really neat! I thin kI might have seen our donors mom when we went in for our transfer it was kinda of surreal of course I could be totally wrong. But I did find a lot of comfort in it.

03-07-2005, 08:34 PM

I've been thinking about you today. I'm glad you did get to see the donor and still keep your anonymity as per the contract. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed tonight that your fertilization rate is wonderful and lurking here tomorrow to see how things went!

Isn't this exciting (and nerve-wracking?)?
Diana

Laenae · 03-07-2005, 09:04 PM

You know what really struck me when I saw them is that this was real. These people came here to do this for me. It was a great feeling. All I can say is that I am just in awe of the gift that the donor is willing to give of herself and she is willing to help me. I can't say enough the depth of what that means. I am hoping with all hope that this will be a successful cycle. I am going to sit down when I get a chance and write an e-mail to my agency and ask them to send a portion of it to the donor to convey my sincere thanks for all she has done.

Thank you everyone for all your support and thoughts.

Love,
Laenae

03-07-2005, 02:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
Laenae 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Blue State but Red State kind of Gal Posts: 2,495	Retrieval done -- Weird experience!!! On my way to my bloodwork and sono this morning, who do you think I ran into in the elevator at the clinic? The donor and her DH!!!! Can you believe it? Well, of course, I was at an advantage as I selected my donor and knew what she looked like and she does not know what I look like. I had pictures of her DH too so I recognized him as well. I tried not to stare and be found out and acted nonchalantly. Thank God the elevator was crowded. Well, she is more beautiful in person than in all of her pictures. But that is not all. I accompanied my DH about an hour later on the floor where they do the IVFs so that he could produce his semen sample and who do you think the only person in the waiting room was? Well it was the donor's DH. He looked at us as we walked in and sat down. I did not know where to look and quickly grabbed a magazine to read so that I would not have to look in his direction. I wonder what he was thinking as we were the only other people there and my DH was in an out just to give a sample, and I wasn't there for an IVF!!! God only knows. I found it to be really bizarre. I won't know the fertilization results until tomorrow. Will keep you posted. Love, Laenae __________________ Age 48/DH 44 - Married 23 yrs. K 02/19/00 (Clomid/C-Section) High Risk PG 12 IUIs/inject.; 6 IVFs; 1 FET; 1 M/C –Twins M 11/10/05 ~ High Risk PG - (C-Section) "Live a Good Life! And in the end, its not the years in a life that count...it's the life in your years!" Abraham Lincoln

03-07-2005, 04:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
Laenae 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Blue State but Red State kind of Gal Posts: 2,495	Yep.. in the flesh!!!! I did not select a donor from my Clinic because they do not let you see photos from their pool of donors. I chose an outside agency. I go to RMA of NY. I doubt that the folks that scheduled this retrieval knew the circumstances of how I chose my donor, but still... I would have thought that precautions would have been made for this type of thing potentially happening. Thank God my donor did not know how my DH and I look otherwise it would really have been uncomfortable. Afterwards, I called the agency of where I selected my donor and told them what happend. They couldn't believe it. In any event, it was great to be able to see my donor in the flesh. Her pictures did not do her any justice now that I know what she looks like face to face. In a way, I wish I could have just reached out and told her that I was the recipient. I wanted to thank her for what she has gone through these past few weeks and the time they took from their lives for my benefit. She and her DH looked like a great couple. They really looked like the type of people I could have been friends with. I really wanted to just hug them both and thank them over and over again. When I got home from the Clinic, I got an email from the agency. My donor sent the agency photos of her trip here in NY and the agency forwarded them to me. Looks like Donor and DH had a fantastic time here doing the tourist thing. I am glad. I won't know any fertilization/retrieval results until tomorrow morning from RMA of NY. I am going to contact my donor's agency to see if they heard anything. The waiting is going to drive me crazy. Also, I will know Thursday morning if they will do transfer in the afternoon or Saturday. Will keep you posted. Love, Laenae __________________ Age 48/DH 44 - Married 23 yrs. K 02/19/00 (Clomid/C-Section) High Risk PG 12 IUIs/inject.; 6 IVFs; 1 FET; 1 M/C –Twins M 11/10/05 ~ High Risk PG - (C-Section) "Live a Good Life! And in the end, its not the years in a life that count...it's the life in your years!" Abraham Lincoln

03-07-2005, 05:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
Laenae 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Blue State but Red State kind of Gal Posts: 2,495	I am surprised that it could happen.... but it did. This was my first experience with this clinic. I switched from my RE of 8 years to cycle at RMA. RMA is such a big Clinic and they do bloodwork/sonos/consults on one floor and IVF procedures on another. My appt. was between 7-9 in the AM. I was running late and got there at 9 AM. DH's appt. was not until 10:45. All my other appts., I always made it for my appts. at 7:30 AM or so. Today I was figured I would be a little late as I did not want DH to wait so long for his appt. And, by chance, I get to see my donor! Unreal.......!!!! This afternoon when I got home, the nurse coordinator left a voicemail message of what meds to take and to come in on Wednesday for another sono and bloodwork and about what to do on Thursday. When I e-mailed the nurse and inquired about the number of eggs retrieved, she replied that she would not know until the morning........ so here I wait... although disappointed. I, too, often wonder what donors think about their recipients. I don't think there is a greater gift one can give of themselves such as the gift they give us. I hope in my heart she truly has an idea of what chance she may be giving us. THanks 50/50 for your well wishes. Love, Laenae __________________ Age 48/DH 44 - Married 23 yrs. K 02/19/00 (Clomid/C-Section) High Risk PG 12 IUIs/inject.; 6 IVFs; 1 FET; 1 M/C –Twins M 11/10/05 ~ High Risk PG - (C-Section) "Live a Good Life! And in the end, its not the years in a life that count...it's the life in your years!" Abraham Lincoln

03-07-2005, 05:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
Laenae 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Blue State but Red State kind of Gal Posts: 2,495	THanks Mav... It was really an unbelievable experience. I never in a million years thought I would see the donor. It is great you were able to meet your donor. Do you still keep in contact? Part of me wishes I would be able to meet, have dinner with and get to know my donor. Part of me, however, also thinks it should be anonymous as in our contracts. You are most likely right about not knowing the egg results. I can think of no other reason why they would not tell me how many were retrieved. Will keep you posted. Love, Laenae __________________ Age 48/DH 44 - Married 23 yrs. K 02/19/00 (Clomid/C-Section) High Risk PG 12 IUIs/inject.; 6 IVFs; 1 FET; 1 M/C –Twins M 11/10/05 ~ High Risk PG - (C-Section) "Live a Good Life! And in the end, its not the years in a life that count...it's the life in your years!" Abraham Lincoln

03-07-2005, 09:04 PM	#10 (permalink)
Laenae 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Blue State but Red State kind of Gal Posts: 2,495	Thanks Emma and Diana You know what really struck me when I saw them is that this was real. These people came here to do this for me. It was a great feeling. All I can say is that I am just in awe of the gift that the donor is willing to give of herself and she is willing to help me. I can't say enough the depth of what that means. I am hoping with all hope that this will be a successful cycle. I am going to sit down when I get a chance and write an e-mail to my agency and ask them to send a portion of it to the donor to convey my sincere thanks for all she has done. Thank you everyone for all your support and thoughts. Love, Laenae __________________ Age 48/DH 44 - Married 23 yrs. K 02/19/00 (Clomid/C-Section) High Risk PG 12 IUIs/inject.; 6 IVFs; 1 FET; 1 M/C –Twins M 11/10/05 ~ High Risk PG - (C-Section) "Live a Good Life! And in the end, its not the years in a life that count...it's the life in your years!" Abraham Lincoln

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03-07-2005, 02:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
50/50 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,927 Blog Entries: 18	Wow! That is unbelievalbe. I thought about that situation happening with my donor but thought it would be impossible to have that happen since I'm sure they would schedule us at different times just to avoid that situation. OMG...did you just want to ask her a million questions? That is really neat you got to see your donor in the flesh and thought she was more beautiful in person. How many eggs did they retreive? Good luck on your embies...can't wait to hear the news.

03-07-2005, 04:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
50/50 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,927 Blog Entries: 18	I still can't get over it...cuz I am also using an agency and would think they would take precautions for this type of thing not to happen. Especially since it is an "anonymous" donor. Wow...it gave me chills to hear what you wanted to express to her. It such a wonderful gift...I wonder if they really know how much it means to us? My doctor told me that they would call me with the # of eggs the day of retreival. So I am surprised yours did not. I guess every office is different. I can hardly wait to hear the results! Good luck to you and please keep us all posted. Thinking of you! 50/50

03-07-2005, 05:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
BC-MAV Board Coordinator for Surrogacy BB Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: way down yonder ... Posts: 29,529 Blog Entries: 48	That is just TOO COOL!!! I was hoping to see our 2nd ED again when she had the retrieval but she was probably in and out. We had met her a few days before for dinner so we did meet and get to talk to her "in the flesh". The report of how many eggs might be considered the ED's medical information and not able to be released without her consent. Once things are fertlized they are YOURS. Perhaps that's why they don't give you an egg report. I have always wondered about the men I see in the IVF clinics when they are sitting there by themself or they go in a room by themself. I wonder if they are someone's DH or they are donating sperm. I think everyone wonders about the men and women there. I know I have... ie. what's their story. Either way a SD or an ED... they are doing a wonderful thing for couples like us ttc!

03-07-2005, 07:19 PM	#8 (permalink)
emmaalso Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: southeast Posts: 228	THat is really neat! I thin kI might have seen our donors mom when we went in for our transfer it was kinda of surreal of course I could be totally wrong. But I did find a lot of comfort in it.

03-07-2005, 08:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
mod-DiIP Guest Posts: n/a	I've been thinking about you today. I'm glad you did get to see the donor and still keep your anonymity as per the contract. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed tonight that your fertilization rate is wonderful and lurking here tomorrow to see how things went! Isn't this exciting (and nerve-wracking?)? Diana

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