Donor Egg v. Donor Embryo

Laenae · 02-21-2005, 06:50 PM

What guided your decisions over selecting either Donor Egg over Donor Embryo or vice versa?

For me, I wanted to have some blood connection to our family and to be a half blood sibling to our natural bio daughter. It was important for us to know what our donor looked like. As DH and I have decided not to tell anyone about our decision to use DE, we wanted the donor to look enough like me that there would be no question. While there is no guarantee that the child(ren) borne to us from Donor Egg will look like us, we felt the odds would be in our favor that they would look more like us than children that were borne to us from Donor Embryo with no blood or genetic connection.

Curious to know how everyone else came to their decisions.

Love,

Laenae

50/50 · 02-22-2005, 11:12 AM

We could not find an embryo that was of our mixed ethnicities and that was important to us. We also wanted to see what the donor looked like as well as know what her other characteristics were. Since we also have male factor we are using a DS as well. We also were able to view his baby photo, listen to his audio and see what his personality traits were. I'm not sure what kind of options are available for donor embryo profiles, if any? Although, it didn't seem like it at the time searching for our DE I think this was faster than waiting for an embryo to come available. The cost difference is enormous but hopefully will be worth it. We are currently starting our DE screens.

41andhopeful

skitcher · 02-22-2005, 09:28 PM

Money. Sad, but true. I hate the fact that money makes so many of my decisions in this journey, but after spending all of it, you have to take what you can get. Availability wasn't really an issue because there are so many egg donors out there, but we were fortunate to find donated embryos right away and we flew there 2 months later for a transfer! It isn't quite that easy these days, but they are out there if you look!

We are trying donor eggs this time only because a friend has offered her eggs and my company now has infertility coverage that did not exist before. Money again plays an important part in our decision making. Having a child with my husband's DNA is special, but not really a deciding factor for us. Just icing on top!

Good luck in your decision and journey. Being a parent, regardless of genes, is a wonderful thing! I don't look at either of my children as anything but my own flesh and blood!!!

jmaw · 02-23-2005, 05:08 AM

We used donor embryo because my dh and I decided at the very beginning of our infertility journey (9 + yrs ago) that we either wanted a child that was genetically both of ours or neither one of ours. We ended up having male and female issues. We pursued ivf/icsi several times because of insurance coverage and also pursued immune issues because we were never given an exact reason why I miscarried (5 times). Insurance finally ran out after moving and changing jobs. We also had a failed adoption which was as heartbreaking as a mc. We decided on adoption again and fortunately had a very short wait until our birthmom chose us. Around the same time through a friend of mine w/triplets had a friend w/triplets at 51 and she and her dh decided they wanted us to have their frozen embryos, what a gift!! So now I'm the proud, blessed mom of 2 DD 5 1/2 months apart. We couldn't love them more if they were genetically linked to us and we like the fact that they are both adopted (1 at birth and 1 at conception).

Jamie
40 yrs. old
DH 46

02-25-2005, 07:45 AM

I'm with Skitcher on this one. Money. After going through surgery, 2 IVF's, 1 FET, 1 DIVF and 2 DFET's to get our dd, we determined that we didn't want to spend 10's of thousands of dollars to go through another DIVF cycle even though our donor offered to donate again for free. We felt we had mortgaged our family's future enough without going more into debt for another child. Yes, we could have afforded it, but felt we'd rather put that kind of money into our dd's college education fund rather than our quest for a sibling. We had decided the cycle that produced the twins was going to be our last in our family building quest.

Diana

02-21-2005, 06:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
Laenae 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Blue State but Red State kind of Gal Posts: 2,495	Donor Egg v. Donor Embryo What guided your decisions over selecting either Donor Egg over Donor Embryo or vice versa? For me, I wanted to have some blood connection to our family and to be a half blood sibling to our natural bio daughter. It was important for us to know what our donor looked like. As DH and I have decided not to tell anyone about our decision to use DE, we wanted the donor to look enough like me that there would be no question. While there is no guarantee that the child(ren) borne to us from Donor Egg will look like us, we felt the odds would be in our favor that they would look more like us than children that were borne to us from Donor Embryo with no blood or genetic connection. Curious to know how everyone else came to their decisions. Love, Laenae __________________ Age 48/DH 44 - Married 23 yrs. K 02/19/00 (Clomid/C-Section) High Risk PG 12 IUIs/inject.; 6 IVFs; 1 FET; 1 M/C –Twins M 11/10/05 ~ High Risk PG - (C-Section) "Live a Good Life! And in the end, its not the years in a life that count...it's the life in your years!" Abraham Lincoln

02-22-2005, 09:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
skitcher Registered User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Kansas City, Missouri Posts: 668	Money. Sad, but true. I hate the fact that money makes so many of my decisions in this journey, but after spending all of it, you have to take what you can get. Availability wasn't really an issue because there are so many egg donors out there, but we were fortunate to find donated embryos right away and we flew there 2 months later for a transfer! It isn't quite that easy these days, but they are out there if you look! We are trying donor eggs this time only because a friend has offered her eggs and my company now has infertility coverage that did not exist before. Money again plays an important part in our decision making. Having a child with my husband's DNA is special, but not really a deciding factor for us. Just icing on top! Good luck in your decision and journey. Being a parent, regardless of genes, is a wonderful thing! I don't look at either of my children as anything but my own flesh and blood!!! __________________ Samantha Me 37 DH 38; married 13 yrs Riley (adopted) 6 yrs; Kenedi (DFET) 2 1/2 yrs Trew (donor eggs) 8 months - We're DONE! BLESSED!

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02-22-2005, 11:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
50/50 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,927 Blog Entries: 18	We could not find an embryo that was of our mixed ethnicities and that was important to us. We also wanted to see what the donor looked like as well as know what her other characteristics were. Since we also have male factor we are using a DS as well. We also were able to view his baby photo, listen to his audio and see what his personality traits were. I'm not sure what kind of options are available for donor embryo profiles, if any? Although, it didn't seem like it at the time searching for our DE I think this was faster than waiting for an embryo to come available. The cost difference is enormous but hopefully will be worth it. We are currently starting our DE screens. 41andhopeful

02-23-2005, 05:08 AM	#4 (permalink)
jmaw Registered User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Southwest Colorado Posts: 31	We used donor embryo because my dh and I decided at the very beginning of our infertility journey (9 + yrs ago) that we either wanted a child that was genetically both of ours or neither one of ours. We ended up having male and female issues. We pursued ivf/icsi several times because of insurance coverage and also pursued immune issues because we were never given an exact reason why I miscarried (5 times). Insurance finally ran out after moving and changing jobs. We also had a failed adoption which was as heartbreaking as a mc. We decided on adoption again and fortunately had a very short wait until our birthmom chose us. Around the same time through a friend of mine w/triplets had a friend w/triplets at 51 and she and her dh decided they wanted us to have their frozen embryos, what a gift!! So now I'm the proud, blessed mom of 2 DD 5 1/2 months apart. We couldn't love them more if they were genetically linked to us and we like the fact that they are both adopted (1 at birth and 1 at conception). Jamie 40 yrs. old DH 46

02-25-2005, 07:45 AM	#5 (permalink)
mod-DiIP Guest Posts: n/a	I'm with Skitcher on this one. Money. After going through surgery, 2 IVF's, 1 FET, 1 DIVF and 2 DFET's to get our dd, we determined that we didn't want to spend 10's of thousands of dollars to go through another DIVF cycle even though our donor offered to donate again for free. We felt we had mortgaged our family's future enough without going more into debt for another child. Yes, we could have afforded it, but felt we'd rather put that kind of money into our dd's college education fund rather than our quest for a sibling. We had decided the cycle that produced the twins was going to be our last in our family building quest. Diana