I am new to Fertile thoughts and I must say, THANK GOD Im not alone in this situation. FIRST let me say my Dx is DOR, Im 27 yr young and married 2 years. I have an 8 yr old who was conceived natural when I was 19 (opps! but what a blessing).
I have been TTC since 2007, I've had 3 failed IUI's because I did not ovulate. Hence, I was referred to a specialist. First I was told it was PCOS, but I knew deep down that wasn't correct. So I was to another OB/GYN who ran a series of test on me and brought up my FSH level. One month it was 17; 19; then 22! It was her who said "if you're really want to get pregnant I suggest you see a RE and get aggressive." Well, I'm so happy I took her advice.
I met me RE in Dec 2009, I found out SO MUCH info in 2 weeks! They ran a special test that confirmed my DOR, my FSH was 3 in January so we proceeded with an IUI, I injected Bravelle for 19 days, my egg (14 total) never grew larger than 12mm and my estrogen never went higher than 32. So it was stopped.
At my next consultation he said "Donor eggs" were my best bet! I was told because my uterus was sooooooo healthy, blah blah blah my success rate was 85-90%. But first he had to do a Saline something-ultrasound and saw polyps! (OF COARSE! ADD IT TO THE LIST, i thought.
So i had that surgery, polypectomy. -2009 to ensure implantation...
Well loooong story short it didnt work. I did a shared cycle, she had 12 eggs, i got 6, 5 fertilized and 2 made freezing. (i only transferred 2).
Then shortly after all that (we're talking weeks) my grandmother passes, who was my mother figure...talk about depression! I drank, went to school full time and was a mother; wife, sis, friend and confidant to ALL my friends and sisters getting pregnant! Everyone BUT me, so it seems. I have literally had everyone I know pregnant around me BUT me! I just keep seeing more and more and I think...when GOD, when is it going to be me?
So we continued to a FET (2 blast transferred; same donor as first time), long story short...It didn't take, not one of my embry-baby....not one. I felt horrible... I felt horrible because I have NOTHING LEFT! (2009)
Then my grandfather, who was my father figure passes...double whamy, once again! I was devasated!
So my Dr agreed to "help us out" He took 6 eggs from another couples cycle, fertilized then with my hubby sperm, only 1 grew, the others were abnormal. I took me some time to agree to move forward with only one embryo. Now, I KNOW beggers can't be choosers, however, considering what Ive gone through I just was hoping for another embryo...but since its a new donor MAYBE, just maybe I might get a break!
HERE I AM TODAY, LITERALLY! I just did my FET in 1/21/11 with one embryo. I did a natural cycle with no lupron (thank you god, it made me a crazy psycho!) Just estrace, and now these AWFUL PIO shots in my A$$! OMGosh!!!!! they hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im also on prometrium and medrol. Im currently on bedrest, its my LAST DAY! =) woo-hoo! BUT I've been an emotional wreck! I so nervous this didn't work, I have none left, I've gained 10 lbs, I feel like I've isolated myself to stay focused and not spill the beans to anyone....but to be honest, Im thinking something is wrong with me.
IS THERE anyone, ANYONE out there who has had more than one IVF fail using donor eggs? Please tell me Im not the only one. I heard chances are better with DE but why not with me!?
My RE is the BEST in Texas! So I don't think that is the problem, plus he isn't giving up on me (I wanted to give up the 1st time things didn't work). Plus he's giving me a financial break...it's almost free until one IVF works....I just don't know how many more times I can do this.
Any success stories or simiular experiences are greatly appreciated. Help!
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01-23-2011, 06:42 PM #1Donorangel83Registered User3rd IVF, 4th ET and a positive beta 2689!!!!!!
Repeated Failed IVF using Donor Eggs, anyone?
01-25-2011, 05:35 PM #2DanasingleRegistered User Over 5,000 Posthas no status.
I'm sorry you are feeling desperate. Yes, unfortunately, there are many couples who do not succeed easily with DE. Hopefully, this embryo will be your 'keeper'. In case of future cycles though, what tests has your DH had?
I'm sorry you are having to deal with DOR. I was never overly confident about success ttc in my late 30's, because, my Mom had early menopause in her late 20's and multiple m/c's and complications.
There are great posts here to read.
If you use the 'search' feature, you can read posts from members who have faced and overcome some of the same issues you and your DH are dealing with.
01-27-2011, 11:22 AM #3
Hi there- wish I could be your succcess story, but my story is just more of the same...
DX is DOR, we picked out first donor, so EXCITED!!-sure de would mean we would finally be parents, well, that didn't happen! The cycle was awful and almost cancelled. We did get two eggs and did a 3 day transfer-nothing to freeze. Imagine our surprise when I got a positive result, only to find out at 7 weeks that there was no heartbeat. This left us completly devestated, both emotionally and financially. We waited 4 months, sure it was just the "wrong" donor for us. Did our homework, picked a proven donor with great results and moved forward. Had a 5 day transfer on Nov 4th- BFN- WTF???? I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. Waited 2 more months and just did a FET with 2 blasts, Jan11th, got my positive on the 20th (yippppeee, over the moon) only to go back on sat and find out my levels weren't doubling...now they have dropped and it has been confirmed as a chemical pregnancy. We have 3 more frozen embies but I am so exhausted.... what I can tell you is that as corny as it is, it really does only take one, I read tons of success stories (not sure why I'm not one of them) Good Luck and I hope you get a BFP and have a healthy full term pregnancy...
01-28-2011, 11:16 AM #4DanasingleRegistered User Over 5,000 Posthas no status.
I'm so sorry for your recent loss. Hugs.
01-29-2011, 04:10 PM #5Donorangel83Registered User3rd IVF, 4th ET and a positive beta 2689!!!!!!
Thank you both so much!
Jennlee- it's ok that you're just the "same story" at least we are not alone. One thing I wanted to ask you was....do you question if you can continue with all the meds and stress involved? For me, it's the most overwhelming part. Also the fact that my hubby doesn't have any kids and I do makes me feel worse. I sometimes feel like telling him- go find someone who can have kids! I know! Isnt that horrible?? Like right now I'm on day 9 after transfer, I feel normal minus the PIO shots, as soon as I feel the pain and knots in my ass I get super cranky, fustrated and I just want to cry! Really! I can't sit stand nor walk and it's overwhelming. I even skipped a dose last night because I have no more room on my butt cheeks.. And my dr doesn't want any other location.
My beta is scheduled for Friday. I m probably going to do a HPT test because frankly, I'm not gonna to torture myself like that. At least I van break the ice this way and go drink after I find out it doesn't work if that the case. I'm so tired of my infertility bubble... I want to be me again and not know anythg that is wrong with me. Ignorance is Bliss!!
I will keep you gals posted on my beta or HPT.
You all are wonderful and thank you again!
Jennlee, don't give up.
02-01-2011, 12:13 PM #6
yes, I have screamed the words to my husband "this is it-this it, I can't do this again" I said this following both of my miscarriages. It is sooooo hard to feel like a failure, again and again and again! and no matter how many times you hear "it's not your fault" well-still feels like my fault! I have even told my husband that he should leave me for someone who could give him children and that I feel as if I am ruining his life...guilt, guilt , guilt...He understood but told me never to say anything like that to him again poor guy, he is always so supportive. I went out to dinner with girlfriends this week who knew nothing about my chemical pregnancy or DE-well after two months of not drinking -umm I got a little too drunk and had my own little personal breakdown right there in the resturant-I could tell you I care-but honestly causing a scene is the least of my worries at this point! I know what you mean about wanting to be yourself again, this experience is so consumming and overwhelming, I told my husband the other night that I don't even feel like me anymore....I told him I feel like I'm at the bottom of the ocean and know which way is up, I'm just too tired to swim to the surface-then I saw that i was freaking him out, so I dropped it. I sometimes feel like I have to put on a good face for him, also very tiring at times. Oh well...I am waiting for my HCG levels to go down so I can have some tests done and my husband is also having some tests done to rule out that it is something that can be treated. My doc is still pretty sure that it is just "bad luck"-hmmmm, is that a medical term??? I am hoping that you get your BFP! I will do another FET (actually two becasue my doc really doesn't want to put all three back at once-(of course I find this funny, he's worried about triplets????-please) If there is nothing keeping de from working then we may try another cycle but probably shared-yeah, this is putting us in the poor house-more guilt! We have starting looking into adoption-it is so overwhelming and as much as I have made peace with not having a child with my dna, I still would love to experience pregnancy and have a child that has my husbands dna...ok-so have you tested yet? I tested on day 8 and got faint positive last time. i didn;t test the first two times because I was too scared, but now I would rather know before the call. good luck !!!!! good luck!!! good luck!!!
02-01-2011, 01:51 PM #7Donorangel83Registered User3rd IVF, 4th ET and a positive beta 2689!!!!!!
I had some hard laughs and cries reading your post! It's sooooo true!! Especial when you said you were talking to your hubby about being at the bottom of the ocean....and he looked scared! I SO GET THAT!!I TELL me hubby some things and I swear he gives me this look like "my wife has lost it"...we are so blessed to have understanding hubbys...not everyone has those.
So I havent done the test yet, I chickened out! Today IS THE DAY Though.. I will stop at the store on the way home and pee holding on to HOPE for dear life.... if its a negitive...then ok.. next step...new donor. If it's positive, HOLY CRAP...I WILL PROBABLY FREAK OUT AND LAY IN BED NOT WANTING TO MOVE...
I will forever think about you FROM THIS DAY Fwd because Im not alone anymore...
and I will KEEP YOU POSTED...
02-01-2011, 06:02 PM #8Donorangel83Registered User3rd IVF, 4th ET and a positive beta 2689!!!!!!
So I took my HPt..it was negitive. At 12 days past FET, I'm pretty sure thats a reliable answer. I'm super bummed but haven't cried at all. I guess I was prepared for either answer. :-(
02-01-2011, 07:34 PM #9
Crap- my first reaction is that I feel angry!!! Beware that the tears can sneak up on you-that happened with my BFN in November, I thought I had accepted the result and then BAM-five days later I had a melt down. I'm so sorry- I am trying to keep the belief that IT WILL happen for both of us---but when??? Well, take a deep breath, let yourself feel sad and disappointed and enjoy some of your favorite wine....
02-04-2011, 10:58 AM #10Donorangel83Registered User3rd IVF, 4th ET and a positive beta 2689!!!!!!
So I went to see my dr, this is what he said
"you have a great uterus, it's really a textbook photo (while looking at my ultrasound uterus shot) it was 11mm thick...3 parallel lines... Women kill to have your uterus...but the reason for them not implanting is unknown. It's frustrating, next time I suggest a dedicated donor and a chromosome blood test for your hubby to see if his sperm has any abnormalities. Also next cycle we are not transferring anything less that 3 embryos."
So Jennlee- I'm back to the drawing board. Im not getting too much of a financial break this time...so I'm considering letting my cousin donate. She's been offering for some time now. I just don't knw how I might feel after. :-/
Decisions decisions. Emotionally I'm stressed out, frustrated at the fact that it just can't come easy.. I'm impatient and anxious already. I've even considered seeing a shrink! My hubby is behind me 100%. my mom thinks I just "need to relax!" how annoying...
Oh and my Dr said "you just haven't had much too work with. Your first cycle was only 6, then 1 embryo. Really...you had a bad donor cycle twice."
How are things with you? Anything new in your process?
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