Feedback on Bethany Christian Services

[deni3282]

Hi all,

DH and I are researching our domestic adoption options. I am the type to research everything until I feel comfortable.

I would love to hear some feedback on Bethany. They came highly recommended from my old pastor and some others. I attend the information session tonite and felt really comfortable. I went to a different agency last week and left feeling down and sad. Dh and I have not made a final decision yet as to whether the agency route is the best course so we are reveiwing all options

Any information on Bethany or suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks,
Denise

[waiting2bamom]

My DH and I also checked out Bethany before going with a facilitator and really liked the program.


We ultimately chose not to go with them, though, but I have not a bad thing to say about them.

Good luck!

[BC-lisa in venice]

Each office if Bethany Christian is independently run so you really need to get feedback on YOUR local office. We had a terrible expereince with the office in Southern MA but I have heard fabulous things about the one here in OC. I have a friend in Saint Louis whose local Bethany office would not work with her because she was Catholic but another friend in NJ had not problem. In general I have heard good things but each office can have different criteria so make some local calls.

lisa

[deni3282]

Hey Waiting,

I can always count on your for a quick reply - thanks.

As I mentione d- I felt really comfortable there so I just wanted to see what others had to say about them. Unfortunately, we cannot use a facilitator in the state of NJ so that option is out for us.

Thanks again,
Denise

[Bunny in WI]

Hi,

Although all the Bethany offices are under the same umbrella - their home office in Michigan - each one does things slightly differently. They don't all have the same policies and procedures. So you'll to compare the policies and procedures at the office you visited to the other agencies in your area.

And as with so many other human service businesses, a major factor in the "quality" is the actual people delivering the services!! So be sure you talk to people associated with this particular local office. I would want to talk to all the people who work there to get a feel - the pending parent social worker, the birthparent social worker if doing domestic, the person handling the foreign paperwork (from what I have heard Bethany is really pushing foreign adoption right now) the person who answers the phones....... Then you must talk to a family who actually completed the type of adoption you are interested in (domestic, foreign, the exact country, or foster). If doing domestic ask to talk to a birthmom that placed with them about how she felt she was treated by the agency staff.

I have to second what Lisa said on this one. I've known of things to go very right with them at some offices and to go VERY wrong at other offices. So you just have to very thoroughly check out the office and the program you want to work with.

Congratulations on starting the adoption process.
Its a giant roller coaster but sooooo worth it in the end.

Here's hoping you can sign your name "new mommy" very soon!

Bunny in WI

[hug_n_kiss]

My husband and I are in the same situation that you and your husband are in. We have received all the information but have not gone to an information seminar yet. We are in Michigan and know a few people who have adopted with Bethany. The thing that we can't get comfortable is their fee scale (not sure if it is the same in all states). Maybe it is not unique to Bethany, but to have a sliding scale based on income just doesn't make sense to us. Why should a couple who makes a good living pay more for a child? Are the services a higher income couple get any different than another couple? Is their birthmom going to be taken care of any differently? What is the rationale for the fee scale? We have asked these questions a number of times and they have not been able to provide a valid response as of yet. We also spoke with some people who adopted a while ago with Bethany and they mentioned that when the IRS put the adoption tax credit in, Bethany raised their fees. For being a not-for-profit, this is turning me away from them.

[deni3282]

Thanks Lisa and Bunny for your feedback and info. I know that Bethany is nation wide and I guess all the offices operate differently. I went to the information meeting in Pennsylvania last night and loved the staff. However, DH and I live in NJ so we may be dealing more with the NJ office - I have already told DH that we should attend the NJ information meeting next month to get a feel for the staff at that office. The mor einformed we are the better....thanks again.

Hugs - each office must work differently as far as fees. Our office does not offer sliding scale fees - it is one general fee. The local office aslo has a grant program where they give up to 5000 per couple for an adoption(they have a 80,000 budget each year for that grant). So maybe each office is very different.......

thanks all - I will continue my research
Denise

[BC-lisa in venice]

hug_n_kiss,
Just a word about sliding scale fees. I guess if you are at the top of the fee scale it can seem unfair. We have done adoptions where we were at the bottom and the top. The idea is that the fee repesents a % of your income so that it shouldn't preclude people from adopting. For instance when we were in grad school and adopted the very low fee we paid represented all of our savings for three years. On the other hand two years ago after dh had been in the work force for 14 years our income was 13X higher than it was the first time around but the fee we paid was only 5x higher and only represented a year's worth of savings. I guess you could say that people who have low incomes don't deserve to be parents or that even if they do you won't help underwrite them that is your right but understand that if you pay ANY adoption fees you are underwriting services that have nothing to do with adoption anyway.

The agency keeps their doors open with these fees and those fees cover services to parents who do not place as well as the ones who do. That is the nature of the game in this country where we do not provide the same social safety net as other countries. I am not saying that this is good or bad it just is. That means that private organizations and charities have to pick up the slack and they have rent to pay. It is like at your church, you contribute based on your income. Bethany is a social service organization, one that you do not have to use. However like good social service organizations they work with people regardless of their ability to pay high fees and I personally think that is noble. BTW the fee is not only set by your income but your expenses as well so even if your income is high if you have unusual expense you will pay a lower fee.

lisa

[hug_n_kiss]

Lisa:

Thanks for the note on the fees. I understand their costs and I understand the fee represents a percentage of income and I was by no means indicating that people on the lower income scale should not be able to adopt or be parents. I guess I am just a little frustrated with the costs associated.

[marg]

Hug, Please remember that just because an organization is a not-for-profit doesn't mean they don't have expenses. I worked in the nonprofit sector for more than a decade and I think alot of people don't quite understand this. In the case of an adoption agency they have the usual business expenses (rent, utilities, computers, phones, insurance) as well as salaries and benefits. I've had 6 social workers in the course of two adoptions and I don't think any of them were making big bucks either, based on the clothes they wore and the cars they drove. Since many pbmoms come to them through phone book and other advertising they usually have big expenses in that area. And they are providing counseling to pbmoms regularly who decide not to place. Unless the organization has a huge endowment their source of revenue is adoptive parents. I know that it comes as a shock to many that they have to pay anything at all to adopt, but that's the way it is.

BTW, for what it's worth, from what I have heard Bethany was not the only agency to raise their fees when the tax deduction went up.