Silly question...

[3 ladybugs]

Would you lie to go to prayer group?

I go every Tuesday during the school year to a prayer group that is for women. I love going and feel that even when I don't have the energy to go, if I just go, I will learn something and feel really uplifted. KWIM?

Well my mother-in-law is going to be in town one of the days of the prayer group. I normally take my son and don't really want to leave him with them (as he doesn't know them at all, they refuse to use Skype). I also don't want my MIL to come as I use this group to get off my chest my issues with my MIL. It is cheap but very useful therapy for me.

My relationship with my MIL is awful and it isn't going to improve anytime soon. DH can't stand up to her (I have seen the awful consequences when he has in the past), and she has a horriable habit of saying the worst possiable thing at the worst possiable time (about 2-3 weeks after I lost my 5 month old dd and had no living children, she came out and had issues with getting her seat belt fastened. I had to pull the car over and help her and she said "it was good practise for me." ) Last summer when we were at her house she stressed out DH, DS and me so badly that we all became physically ill (we were only there for 3 days). So I really need the time away from her.

So the way I see it is, I can not go and make the best of the situation at home, go and risk her wanting to come with, or go and tell her I am doing something that involves walking since then she will NEVER want to go.

What would you do?

[3 ladybugs]

My DH will be working. I think it is better for him to use his vacation days to relax rather then getting stressed out by his mother.

I should note that FIL is also coming and I actually have no problems with him. Neither does DH.

ETA to give you an idea of how bad it is with MIL, she has said that she wants to take DS to disney world (with us). I told DH that he should take 2 weeks off so we could spend a week with my mother when it is over. DH actually agreed because he can relax at my mother's, not so with his mother.

[Alexismith]

um , i would. well let me clarify a bit. I would not tell the truth. i know lying by omission and exaggerating is a sin but i've always sort of thought that if God had had a MIL like mine He'd have fibbed and gone to bible study. i wouldnt leave my child with my mother unless it was life or death and since its not nice to say things that hurtful i just get a bit creative and say 'Im Sorry God, I know its wrong, please help me improve my situation.;' but thats me

[BC-GoMom]

Well I think I would tell her before they come as a courtesy that although you will spend most of the time with them, you do have a meeting that will be attending. Matter of factly state that you and LO will not be at home on the Tue night that they are here. Tell them you and dh are giving them dinner out at a local (novel) restaurant on you and you will be home early. If they decline the dinner fine, but you and Lo will be out for the evening. If she asks what is so imprortant - tell her it is a very special group of members of your church. If she wants to know more tell her she is welcome to join you on Sunday morning. Stating it matter of factly with assurance will let her know it is non negotiable. They may decide to take that time to explore a store or something in your area......

[Alexismith]

bc-gomom...OOH you're good at this.... i like your answer best.

[3 ladybugs]

Oh I forgot to say that it is in the morning. I don't do anything at night without DH.

I guess I could tell her (because I don't talk to her when DH does every week, it is just how we do things, he doesn't talk to my family every week and I don't talk to his... no one lives around us) that Max (DS) and I have an early appointment and we will see them when we get back around noon. This gives her an out (so she can sleep in... she lives on the west coast and I think takes pride in the fact she never gets on our time zone). My son also has a well visit (2 year) that day, so maybe they can just go into the city or something that day. Hmmm... But it is also their last full day here. Ugg!

[BC-GoMom]

Just let her know you have two appointments that day ahead of time. They may opt to leave a day early or ask them if they want to meet you out for lunch after your appts or between the two.