The time is now.... some advice needed.

[DrAussieMom]

Well, I think it is time that my family finds a church. Here is some info on us, and then I have some questions. I was not raise din the church, my father knew the Bible, but was not religious, my mother is agnostic. I tried going to church alone or with friend's families when I was a kid, but it never stuck. My DH was raise dint he church, his father a very well known preacher. He though has not practiced since we moved 3 years ago.

So, we have been in a house and new area for about 6 months. I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old. Here are the considerations (we have about 20 churches within 10 miles of us):
1. larger/smaller
2. denomination - DH was a Baptist, but is open.
3. do they have a daycare / Suinday school for 1 or both kids - Would like something at least for DD (2.5 years), as she could not sit that long.
4. Protocols - what I mean by this, is I see several website that say "we will never show up unannounced to your home" - I didn't realize this was something anyone did?
5. Tiething (sp?) - How does this work?

My husband says don't overthink it (as I do with most things) - and just go and see if you like one, if not, go to the next.

Also, DH works sundays, so I would like something that has more activites than just Sundays, so he can be involved.

Any insight would be most appreciated. TIA.

[PebbleRock]

I agree with your dh. Dont over think it.. Shop around, attend a few services and see if you get a good "feel" of it. I do agree that you should find one that offers activities or services for your children. This way they too can become comfortable. Good Luck and Be blessed

Tithing: 10 percent of your gross income either monthly or weekly however you want to break it down. Read Malachi Chapter 3 verse 8-12

[BC-GoMom]

There are some denominations that will visit you at your home after you visit their church. I do not think it is done as much as once was.

Having small children, you may want to look for a church large enough that they have childcare/children's church while adults go to service. I personally get more out of a sevice if I am not so worried about what my children are doing to bother others. Churches that have Mother's day out during the week will likely have an established children's program although many churches have wonderful childrenh's programming yet do not offer MDO or daycare during the week.

The more contemporary (music- with a mix of some old hymns occasionally)- is my preference- I found myself singing them throughout the week and could find them listening to KLOVE. Since your dh has a background in church maybe you could sit down together and chose a few to visit on the Sundays he is off. Most churches will have things other times during the week. There are often things on Sun nite and Weds. Some will have bible studies during the week where child care is provided so maybe you could take some classes to learn more in a smaller setting.

I think it is wonderful that you are ready to try to find a church home. Feel free to ask questions here- there are some smart ladies/gents here.

Tithing simply means giving 1/10th.

[Mrs.H]

I think you need to look around. Go to church, listen to the pastor, sing the hymns, see what you think. But always remember - if they're not teaching the Bible in its truth and purity, it's not the right church. Keep checking what you're learning with what God's Word says.

[jojo329]

I agree that you need to visit the church several times and listen to the sermons. I will say... All of the programs in the world aren't going to make a difference if you can't really relate, learn from, and grow spiritually from the sermons and Bible studies. JMO
We recently switched churches. The new one is much smaller than the old one and a different denomination, but we actually feel like this is where we're going to grow spiritually. Oddly enough, even though it is a smaller church, they do have a nursery during church and Sunday School - which was not offered at our old church. I can definitely get a lot more out of it when I'm not trying to keep a baby quiet from disturbing everyone else!
Most important, just pray about it with your DH, visit churches, and you will make the right decision for your family.
Good luck!

[BC-GoMom]

How is it going? give us an update

[DrAussieMom]

Funny in timing on your request for update. I went today, to a church that just opened 2 weeks ago. It is actually out of the elementary school. I got there, lost as can be, but was greeted by about 10 different people, and was wisked away to the children care area. There were about 10 kids in there. My DD went with the lady, I signed her out and the way I went back with DS (4 months) to the sermon.

I sat in the very back, and there was about 30 minutes of songs (a little too long for my first time, but realize many aren't a "blank slate" like me ). Anyway, then they did a greet and meet - a few more songs, then what I liked - the actual sermon. His talk was about the church and what the role is, etc. He said he will get into formal sermons in 2 weeks - starting with the Book of John.

Anyway, I enjoyed it, I was a bit reserved, they wanted some of us to go up and talk about Jesus saving us, and pray. I was a bit too shy (only 1 person did). There was 250 last week, about 100 this week.

DS slept in my arms for about an hours, but didn't make a peep. When I went to get DD, she didn't want to leave, started crying.

They passed the bag around for donations. I am still unclear on how that works. Only about 15 people gave, lots did not. I am not sure the right amount.

Lots of really nice people, I really liked the people, but want to see a bit more before I buy in, but we will be going next week. Also, they gave me a Bible (I was silly and didn't go and buy one before we went) - DH has one, but it is not something I wanted to take (it was his as a kid).

[BC-GoMom]

I want to hear more when you go back

[jow]

I have found that your church family will find you. God leads us to the place that we need to be. As for the tithing, you give what your heart tells you to give. More formal places expect you to give a monthly tithe of 10% of your income for that month. Others work on a "giving" pledge that you make a committement to give money to your church.

I am a childrens ministry leader in my church. Shop for a place that welcomes your kids, know that you feel comfortable dropping them off. If they have Sunday school for the oldest one see how they run it and be satisfied with what how she perceives it.

hope this helps some.

jo

[Daviso]

Keep checking what you're learning with what God's Word says.

This is so important!!!! I totally agree.

Regarding some of the things you asked about:

Church size:

I think it really depends on one's preferences. (I tend to like medium sized GROWING churches because if it is growing then the church is probably doing their job of ministering to the community). Each church size has it's pros and cons. Some of the really large "mega churches" pros are that they have TONS of small groups and outreaches set up that cover the spectrum of interests and family dynamics (for child care, child classes, men's groups, ladies groups, etc.) But, the down-side is that if you are not an outgoing person, it can be hard to get plugged in and involved if you don't join one of the small groups within the church. In smaller churches, you can connect with people easier sometimes, but sometimes the really small churches may not have the small groups/programs you are searching for for your family.

Tithing:

Tithing is 10% as mentioned in previous posts. An offering is something in addition to tithing. The condition of the heart during giving is most important. Tithing shouldn't be done as routine duty in order to just follow some rule, it is a surrendering back to God a portion of what He has given us. So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver" (2 Corinthians 9:7) There are many schools of thought of how tithing should or should not be handled depending on the type of church you go to. My church teaches strict adherence to the 10% rule, and I do give 10% b/c I feel God deserves AT LEAST that much (not necessarily that I believe exactly the way the church I go to does), but we also do offering (separate from tithing) and support missions monthly as a family. You can't out give God :-) And, if you pray and seek God, there will come a time when you know in your spirit what monies you are being led to give. And, if you can't give extra money, other things can be an offering too... your time helping in the church, your prayers for church members, etc. IMHO.

Denomination:

Look for a church that teaches the Bible. There are some parts of the Bible that churches teach differently (I'm not talking about the main fundamental truths of the Bible), and it's okay not to agree 100%. You could try a non-denomination church, but most non-denominational still have roots in some denomination.

Protocol: BC-GoMom covered it :-)

Singing:

Our church has a very long singing service... Sometimes 45min-1hr both before and after the preaching. I have to sometimes remind myself that I am there to worship, that God deserves every single second of that time and more. I have struggled with the worship times, so I am constantly bringing my mind back to God, and devoting that time to Him - making it my offering or sacrifice to Him. I know others may not have the same issue I do, but after singing that long, sometimes my mind can start to wonder about a to do list or something, and it helps to bring myself back to the reason I am there. Sometimes I have to close my eyes to get rid of any distractions and to make the worship what it was intended for - time to be thankful and prepare our hearts for God. There is a song by Michael W Smith (The Heart of Worship) that puts it nicely.

Going up to the alter:

You said you were reserved. That's ok. Don't feel pressured into going up, but don't be afraid to go forward if you feel like God is leading you to do so.

Pray for God to show you... In His mercy, He forgives us when we get "it" wrong; and when we do recognized His voice and react accordingly, in His grace, He helps us to follow through.

I pray you find a church that teaches and lives God's word, that fits what you need for your family, that embraces you and becomes the Christian family and network that a church is supposed to be...

I am going to remember you and your family in my prayers - your post has touch my heart.