Update on my Mom...not good :-(

shaking2 · 10-05-2009, 07:55 PM

Hi Everyone,
Well things with my parents have been going ok, I guess to good to be true.
My Dad is doing well right now and gaining weight so that's all good. My Mom on the other hand had a PET scan and found out that she has 4 new spots on her lungs in both sides. 2 of those spots were there on the CAT 3 months ago but they were so small and now have doubled in size. The Dr. said that without Chemo she has 9 to 12 months..

. If she decides to take Chemo he said she would probably have another year or so. She is not sure she wants to take the Chemo.
I am at loss and feel like I can't help her. I has been a emotional roller coaster for me.

Suebee · 10-06-2009, 06:45 AM

I am sorry that this is happening to you and your family.

I can understand your mom not being sure what to do. Sometimes enjoying what is left of your life is more important then squeezing in a few more months.

It really is an individual choice espesially when neither option is a cure. I have had many friends choose to enjoy the time without treatment that would make them live longer, but feel sick, so that the time they had, could be enjoyed.

I would say that your job is to love her and support what she feels is the right decision. That of course is hard when naturally we want our loved ones with us as long as possible.

You might be able to help by looking into hospice care and finding out what she wants for the months to come. Hospice care can be a beautiful help when it is done well and bring peace into a family as they are going through some incredibly tough moments.

Sue

nala301 · 10-06-2009, 11:55 AM

I am so sorry to hear this news. Sue gave you wonderful advice. I hope the time you have left is filled with love and peace.

shaking2 · 10-06-2009, 02:59 PM

Thank you...I am trying very hard to just support her decision. She decided today to give Chemo a try. We will see what happens from here.

**BC-Tracik** · 10-06-2009, 09:55 PM

Your mom is lucky to have you there supporting her. (((HUGS)))

jow · 10-07-2009, 02:23 PM

Well I understand how you feel. When it came time for my mom to decide it was not what we wanted to hear but in the end it was so much better for her. Sue is right sometimes the best for her is not the best for you. Make sure you let her know that her decision is one that you support b/c she will need you to carry it out with her... I know this is hard and I am holding your hand....

SuzCa · 10-07-2009, 05:03 PM

Maybe she can try chemo and see if she gets any response. If the response is good it might buy her quality time. If not, then she knows she tried. Hopsice can be very beneficial to those facing end of life issues. I am so sorry that you are faced with the potential loss of both of your parents.

nychris · 10-07-2009, 05:20 PM

Trying to find the words because I'm sorry doesn't even begin to convey it.

SaraBB · 10-07-2009, 05:24 PM

I am so sorry. Can't hink of anything else to say.

nala301 · 10-07-2009, 07:32 PM

Just wanted to send more

today.

10-05-2009, 07:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
shaking2 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 4,043 Blog Entries: 12	Update on my Mom...not good :-( Hi Everyone, Well things with my parents have been going ok, I guess to good to be true. My Dad is doing well right now and gaining weight so that's all good. My Mom on the other hand had a PET scan and found out that she has 4 new spots on her lungs in both sides. 2 of those spots were there on the CAT 3 months ago but they were so small and now have doubled in size. The Dr. said that without Chemo she has 9 to 12 months... If she decides to take Chemo he said she would probably have another year or so. She is not sure she wants to take the Chemo. I am at loss and feel like I can't help her. I has been a emotional roller coaster for me. __________________ Sharon Me 32 DH 34 06-02-06

10-06-2009, 06:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
Suebee 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 6,335	I am sorry that this is happening to you and your family. I can understand your mom not being sure what to do. Sometimes enjoying what is left of your life is more important then squeezing in a few more months. It really is an individual choice espesially when neither option is a cure. I have had many friends choose to enjoy the time without treatment that would make them live longer, but feel sick, so that the time they had, could be enjoyed. I would say that your job is to love her and support what she feels is the right decision. That of course is hard when naturally we want our loved ones with us as long as possible. You might be able to help by looking into hospice care and finding out what she wants for the months to come. Hospice care can be a beautiful help when it is done well and bring peace into a family as they are going through some incredibly tough moments. Sue __________________ Suebee Cancer Survivor Life is one surprise after another! Last edited by Suebee; 10-07-2009 at 05:56 AM.

10-06-2009, 11:55 AM	#3 (permalink)
nala301 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,525 Blog Entries: 1	I am so sorry to hear this news. Sue gave you wonderful advice. I hope the time you have left is filled with love and peace. __________________ ~Nala Breast cancer survivor! Matthew David 8/23/05-11/7/05-our beloved little man K.M.-12/16/07 waiting for #3 bmom edd 4/3/10-here we go again!

10-06-2009, 02:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
shaking2 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 4,043 Blog Entries: 12	Thank you...I am trying very hard to just support her decision. She decided today to give Chemo a try. We will see what happens from here. __________________ Sharon Me 32 DH 34 06-02-06

10-06-2009, 09:55 PM	#5 (permalink)
BC-Tracik International Adoption Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Left Coast Posts: 10,679	Your mom is lucky to have you there supporting her. (((HUGS))) __________________ Lucky wife to T, Mommy to 2 Guatemalan blessings A, Home 3/02 M, Home 1/04 Save a life, Sign up to be a Bone Marrow Donor code: swab4mateo2 http://www.marrow.org/JOIN/index.html "Promise me you’ll always remember: you’re braver then you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think"- Christopher Robin


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10-07-2009, 02:23 PM	#6 (permalink)
jow 5000-9999 post king of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 7,149	Well I understand how you feel. When it came time for my mom to decide it was not what we wanted to hear but in the end it was so much better for her. Sue is right sometimes the best for her is not the best for you. Make sure you let her know that her decision is one that you support b/c she will need you to carry it out with her... I know this is hard and I am holding your hand....

10-07-2009, 05:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
SuzCa 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: So Cal Posts: 4,640 Blog Entries: 74	Maybe she can try chemo and see if she gets any response. If the response is good it might buy her quality time. If not, then she knows she tried. Hopsice can be very beneficial to those facing end of life issues. I am so sorry that you are faced with the potential loss of both of your parents. __________________ DD Sophia, Eight Years Old! Breast Cancer Survivor - In Support of all of our survivors! "Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Randy Pausch

10-07-2009, 05:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
nychris 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 2,140	Trying to find the words because I'm sorry doesn't even begin to convey it.

10-07-2009, 05:24 PM	#9 (permalink)
SaraBB 700-799 post 9 of hearts Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: New Mexico Posts: 719	I am so sorry. Can't hink of anything else to say. __________________ SaraB Javier 10 y.o. Elisa 9 y.o. Alia 7 y.o. Blessed by the miracle of adoption diagnosed with cancer 5/07 finished chemo on 10/07

10-07-2009, 07:32 PM	#10 (permalink)
nala301 1000-4999 post queen of hearts Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,525 Blog Entries: 1	Just wanted to send more today. __________________ ~Nala Breast cancer survivor! Matthew David 8/23/05-11/7/05-our beloved little man K.M.-12/16/07 waiting for #3 bmom edd 4/3/10-here we go again!

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