wannabebe2

Do you believe in signs? Call them signs from God, guardian angel messages, or what have you... I'm thankful for whatever is happening.

I O'd REALLY early this month (my IUI was exactly one week ago, so of course I missed church again and will have some nosy Nancies asking this week). I woke up at 1:11 that morning and could not get back to sleep. I wasn't supposed to go in for my bloodwork until the next day, but for some reason I kept thinking about it all night ("what if my hormone levels go up earlier than usual and we miss this cycle?") and I couldn't sleep. It was horrible anxiety and I kept having the same thought over and over, even though I've never had my hormones surge this early (usual is day 16, earliest was day 14, this time was only day 12), so there was no reason for me to have that crazy anxiety (or so I thought). I tried to force myself to sleep and finally just got up and decided I'd go in for bloodwork to put an end to the anxiety. It was NOT convenient at all, and I was so grumpy going in "when I didn't need to", but I couldn't make that anxiety stop until I got my bloodwork done. LOL... of course I had actually started my surge the night before, so we had to get cracking on the IUI ASAP!! I almost missed it--sometimes I wonder if we're given hints from God but we just don't always pay attention to them.

On the way to the clinic we saw a double rainbow--big and beautiful!! What a lovely way to start the day. Two lines of rainbow promise for my two juicy follies! DH's count was higher than last time but still below what they would like (we have only about a 5 per cent chance). Every other time I've always caught the hormones on the upside of the surge instead of the decrease... meaning that I end up doing IUI right before I actually release an egg and then one the next day, after I release the egg... so there is the possibility that the sperm dies before the egg gets down to the uterus from the ovaries (his boys are weak and don't last long) or that they get there too late. This time, although it sucks that I can't have two loads of "the boys" in there, the timing is a lot closer to when the egg or eggs would actually be in my uterus--so it could be a good thing. Fingers crossed!!

The nurse tried to convince me to do IVF again (and I said no, AGAIN), then said that she will ask the doctor to write me a new script for double the pills and double the shots to see if they can get 4-5 eggs next cycle if this doesn't work, to increase the odds.

Many of my prayers really were answered this month: I wanted my two juicy follies and got them. I didn't want to have to go in for IUI on the day we had family sleeping over... and my wish came true. I wanted it to happen on a non-work day so that I wouldn't have to be late to my brand new job, and it did. I wanted it to happen earlier than my predicted O date so that I didn't have to call in sick to my first training session (which happened 4 days later on what should have been my O day) and I certainly did go 4 days early! I wanted my special nurse, and of course she was the one I got AGAIN!! :c) I have much to be thankful for on this most recent journey.

I hope that the blessings just keep on rolling for us all! Keep your chins up and be brave as you hope and pray for your dreams to come true!!

I've had light brown spotting from 3DPO until today (6 DPO). The nurse says it's probably leftover blood from the IUI. I hope this doesn't mean any kind of egg quality issue, since both progesterone and clomid should be preventing any early bleeding from my uterine lining. Fingers crossed that all is well. I wish it was implantation bleeding, but it came too early for that. Drat!! :c)

Optimism and hope are double edged swords... but I want to dream. One week to go in this TWW... I'm SOOO ready to be a mom. May this be the month!!!