TwoQTs

Well, my day off was busy. Mom's finally getting her kitchen reno'd after years of longing for it. So, we went to Totem to alter the plans she'd been given by the contractor (didn't want the fridge ending the counters right before the living room) & she picked out countertops, cupboards & ceramic tile.

I BBQd prime rib steaks & made cupcakes for the girls--they were so thrilled. It was a beautiful day.

I got my email to the DM & HR person typed out--will ...

I was told today I was too greedy so didn't get the seafood job. I think now the store mgr may've just gotten a kick out of convincing me to apply so he could slap me down. Typical.

Yet another go-round with J today. Was being super-snotty.. went to mgt AGAIN; had a 2-hour mtg with the entire dept that was there this morning (4 of us including J) & don't think much got solved anyway. I was sobbing most of the day. When J came downstairs an hour after the mtg he said, "Well, ...

I've been crying since before 6 am. Work was bad again as usual; ended up sobbing in the mgr's office yet again. He won't move me to produce b/c he says it would be a waste.. of my 'managerial skills' & money. So, I'm stuck. He wants me to take a managerial position but again it would mean a paycut. I am now willing to look at options should the right one open up.

The BIG HR people were down all day yesterday. One supervisor was fired (nice kid but lazy & completely discouraged ...

..in more ways than one.

Yes, it's sunny outside & the temp has risen to a balmy -20-something C. Supposed to be up to 9 in the next day or so.. on with the melting yet again!

As to my life, other than the girls, my life sucks.

Work: no word from the union since last week when they told me they'd asked for J's immediate dismissal. J must know a little b/c he's trying to be nicer. NICER.. sucking up a little mingled with the usual snotty remarks & ...

I hate winter; I hate SAD. However, I slept well last night for a change & the sun is shining again today. It should hit 10 C by the weekend & will be above 0 all week. The snow is melting!! I'm thrilled about that.

My headaches of course have been starting to edge their way back into my life. I get so uptight & tense then get tension headaches which turn into migraines. The pills are horribly expensive ($80 for 4 Maxalt) but I only take those when I absolutely have to. ...

So I sent him a msg on FB almost a week ago & no response. I know he's not super into FB or computers in general, but now I feel pretty upset. My msg was low-key.. how are you doing type of thing--here's what I've been up to. So, maybe I was right & although I have caught him staring at me often, maybe he really does hate me. :'(

The girls were horrified today when they heard someone calling someone else a b-tch. I told them most every woman got called that--I get called that ...

It has been cold & foggy for about 10-days now & no signs of letting up. The trees look beautiful but it's cold & winter & this is Canada where we get grumpy & depressed & so angry with winter this time of year. Grrr.

Work has been a little better this week.. I think. Got quite a bit done; we just launched yet another 'event' (this one PC Blue Menu--since Galen's on TV promoting our PC BM products complete with the Olympic athletes, sales will go up 700% like ...

I hate winter, for starters. I was dxd with SAD years ago & while I manage without antidepressants the past few years, it seems like this year has been particularly bad. I cannot take most meds due to hypersensitivity now so can't even try to take anything for it. I muddle along somehow...but that is likely a good share of my trouble these days.

I can't sleep well which adds to it.. I have some sleeping pills I take when I really badly need to sleep. So, 21-pills lasts me about ...

I just am on the verge of tears today... I feel so very alone. I also feel like some people whom I thought were friends look down on me now & while I'm not one to care a lot, this time it is someone I really thought was a friend & it really hurts. It shouldn't matter to me but it does. The last time I talked to him I asked him why he didn't even say hello any more & he apologized; however, he's said hi & chatted maybe twice since that & I am so tired of going out of my way when ...

I am SOOOOOOO beyond sick of bad things happening. So sick!!

A week ago my car was vandalized. The passenger mirror was knocked off & is hanging by the power cord thingie that adjusts the mirror. Haven't been able to take my car in b/c I work all the time. My car was one of many that were vandalized along that strip of street that night.

I cut myself on Tuesday.. not a bad cut, but deep enough to see tissue & fat. I taped myself up & went back to work ...