Tough school mornings

M is having a really hard time in the mornings.

She's probably been late 5 or more times out of the 10 days we've been back to school.

2 of those days, I've dragged her up kicking, screaming & crying. 2 other days she's just been crying and begging me not to leave her.

She's always had some separation issues but it hasn't been this bad since she was in kindergarten/1st grade.

Last year, the school nurse was great. She'd let M sit in her office til she calmed down & then walk her to her class. Unfortunately, the nurse was transferred to a different school & the new nurse just doesn't compare. I'm sure she's nice but she's not a go getter and stepping up to help or comfort M. SHe has the personality of a rock.

On the bright side, the school has a new guidance counselor, who seems to be very nice.

I hate the other kids to see M crying in the mornings, which is why she's been late so much. I've been waiting til after the bell rings to bring her up to school, so that the whole school yard doesn't see her in tears. Even bringing her in late, enough kids in the hall see her. But in the moment, M doesn't care who sees her. I hate the thought of kids teasing her b/c she's crying.

Today, the guidance counselor was in a meeting, so she couldn't help out but the school psychologist was there. He's only there 1.5 days a week, so I didn't even know the school even had one til this morning. We walked with him up to his office, which happens to be down the hall from her class room. I wanted to kill him, she's in tears & he walks her right past her classroom! When I realized, I tried to block her from their view, but I think some kids saw her. Then when I was leaving after a few minutes, she ran out of the office and cried "Mommy, don't leave me!". It broke my heart. I wanted to cry too. To make matters worse, a girl from her class happened to be standing in the hall right there.

I need to talk to the counselor & psychologist and ask them to take her through alternate stairs & halls when she's upset so that she's exposed to as few of her classmates as possible when she's this upset.

After I left the school this morning, I came up with an idea that I hope will make mornings easier. If the principal agrees, I'd like to try bringing her to school 15-20 mins before the bell rings. The school yard will be almost empty that early, so if she is crying, no one will see. Then I can spend the extra time trying to calm her down before the bell rings rather than after. I'm just waiting to hear from the principal to see if she'll go a long with it.

As far as I can tell, her meds really are not working. She's having so many outbursts at home. The dose was increased a couple of days ago and she has another appt with the psychiatrist next week. She's already mentioned hospitalizing M again b/c her behavior is escalating & safety is becoming an issue. We really don't want to do that again unless we have to but we just may have to whether we want to or not.

Crap. I hate this.

Edited to add that I just heard from the psychologist and the principal agreed to let us come into school early (yay!). She also suggested possibly having M go to breakfast at school, which I might try. The breakfast program is pretty small, I think mainly the only kids who go either get free breakfast or have working parents who need to drop them off early. I'm willing to give anything a try, at this point.