TriciaJ

I am grateful that my company offers IVF coverage but I feel like it is a giant step in the WRONG direction. Right now and until 12-31-05 my company gives 100% coverage (unlimited) as of 1/1/06 it goes to 50% coverage with a max lifetime cap of $10,000. Anyone who has been through IVF knows that isn't going to go very freakin' far. I've got a raging headache from crying most of the day. We planned on waiting to TTC for a few more months but I guess the waiting is up. I called my RE, we are going to do a fresh IVF asap so that we can have a better chance of conceiving and FET's are less expensive, so any embies that can be frozen will be held onto. What am I going to do? Am I not meant to have anymore children? Am I that bad of a person to go through 3 losses of 4 babies and still deserve this/

DH & I said that if we aren't pregnant /have baby by the end of next year that we will have to move onto adoption. At least there the money is put toward a more reliable outcome. I know there are no guarantees but what else can we do? I just feel so alone in all this, I am so angry, sad and scared.

Had Ryan & Joshua lived I wouldn't care about this. Why couldnt' they live? I miss them so much. What am I going to do?