StacyD

I am so d@mn tired of feeling numb. I do not know if my marriage is going to make it through this unemployment of dh's. I am tired of my life on hold. All of my dreams and wishes for my family on hold. If something does not happen soon I am not sure we will be able to hold onto our home of 14 years.

DH has a job interview on Wednesday. He has all the background that they are looking for in this position. Praying that this is "the" job.

Dh has not had any calls about jobs. He has applied for many jobs. Christmas is fast approaching and I am stressed about money and not being able to give the boys the Christmas that they have had in the past. Praying that the calls and interviews start soon.

HOPE is more than just a word. It's a firm belief that even if you don't know how or when, God will come through and better days are ahead.

Life sends rain... Hope dances in the puddles until the sun comes out again.

From the devotional book, Rain on Me by Holley Gerth

I am trying so hard not to carry so much stress. Since dh lost his job I have gotten very little sleep. It is really starting to catch up with me.

I pray that a great job ...

Had another God wink moment today. Blake and I were driving towards Hulen Mall. I had all kinds of things running through my mind on the drive. My stress level is so high right now. I was wondering how were are going to pay all that we have to pay to stay afloat and the Mall had me thinking of the holiday fast approaching. As I was about to drive under Trail Lake a beautiful white dove flew out, not a pigeon but a white dove. A peace come over me that I can not explain. I even had a few tears fall. ...

Not sure where my life is going. I am sinking into depression over my marriage. Why does my husband always buried his head in the sand and not see things that are bothering me? I am in pain d@mn it.

I had gastic bypass in 2005. During the process of losing weight he never said anything about my weight loss nor did anything to encourage me. I lost 130 pounds but have gained back some my weight due to stress eating. I hate that I am back over 200. When I had my surgery I was ...

My friend who cuts our hair is so sweet. She has always kept her eyes and ears open for us about adoption situations. She has told us about a couple of situations but nothing has come of them.

This one seemed like a good possibility and a baby girl. This woman had already placed three of her six kids for adoption. She had been hiding this pregnancy, her seventh to carry to term. My friend told her about us before with her last pregnancy, she kept him. Everything seemed to be going ...

I am screaming at my kids. They have been fighting so much lately. I feel like I just want to cry because my dh is back to not touching me again. Has been almost two months. Before that it was two times in 12 years and I do not want to go back there again. When I say touch I do just mean sex I mean touch me in any way. I posted that I joined the bare club the end of June for him for our anniversary on July 2nd. Well still not interest on his part. I do not want to go back to living like roommates ...

Is day dreaming about a baby girl I just learned about that may be placed for adoption. Do I dare day dream?

My sweet dear friend who cuts our hair always has her ears open when she hears about anyone placing a baby for adoption for us. She has a friend who is pregnant with a baby girl and wants to place. She has not spoken to her yet about us but plans to this next week. The BM has placed three other babies. This will be her 7th child. She was to have placed her last one and knew ...

Please God reclaim his heart. I can not go through life with blinders on.