Oh no.......they're baaaaaaacckkk...
by, 11-02-2007 at 11:54 AM (164 Views)
...those pangs. Those dreaded pangs of envy. Someone's announced pregnancy. Someone just had a baby. Oh no. I can't believe that they are back. This whole time since getting pregnant with Ben. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. NO ENVY. But now? Knowing that here in a month, the door will be closed forwever? Oh for crying out loud. I CAN'T go back to that. Those were some of the worst feelings in my ENTIRE LIFE. And the memories of those are starting to haunt me.
Despising pregnant women. (Not despising - just being envious).
Hating women with newborns. (Surely not hating. Just wishing I were them).
Boycotting baby showers (well, if they weren't at mine anyway).
Hating seeing all things pregnancy and all things baby. PLEASE tell me I've learned from having Ben. Please! It's like I'm reverting back to as if I never had the sandwich at all. So oh no. It never goes away. Does it. The envy. The heartache. The sheer jealousy that I hate so much. It's back.