SomedayMommy

Oh no.......they're baaaaaaacckkk...

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, 11-02-2007 at 11:54 AM (164 Views)

...those pangs. Those dreaded pangs of envy. Someone's announced pregnancy. Someone just had a baby. Oh no. I can't believe that they are back. This whole time since getting pregnant with Ben. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. NO ENVY. But now? Knowing that here in a month, the door will be closed forwever? Oh for crying out loud. I CAN'T go back to that. Those were some of the worst feelings in my ENTIRE LIFE. And the memories of those are starting to haunt me.

Despising pregnant women. (Not despising - just being envious).
Hating women with newborns. (Surely not hating. Just wishing I were them).
Boycotting baby showers (well, if they weren't at mine anyway).

Hating seeing all things pregnancy and all things baby. PLEASE tell me I've learned from having Ben. Please! It's like I'm reverting back to as if I never had the sandwich at all. So oh no. It never goes away. Does it. The envy. The heartache. The sheer jealousy that I hate so much. It's back.

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Comments

thebabyproject - 11-02-2007 02:14 PM
Cha-chink. Locking on with my tranq gun...now just hold still.

Lots of hugs, honey, and a stiff shot of valium.

And it might NOT be closed forever. And then with two you'll be so tired you won't notice babies and preggers.

Hugs,
Emily
SomedayMommy - 11-02-2007 06:26 PM
Aaaaaaahhhh....shank you, Emiry......I neeeeeeeded zhat............
HopesPromise - 11-02-2007 08:21 PM
I get ya.
BC-tnahope - 11-02-2007 10:54 PM
I hate feeling that way too. It is so hard dealing with IF. It is normal to feel this way, you have so much hope for this FET to work, there is a little sting to hear of someone getting PG so easily
dr j - 11-04-2007 08:30 AM
Stace

I stay away from these boards most of the time because my life is so crazed I barely have control....LOL BUT the truth really is...... I am just like you. Reading here often spirals down into obsessive TTC thinking in which I will consider almost ANYTHING to beat this **** game. I have to back away.

I have killed more embryos than you hon.....I think the frozens number in the 40s..........

Working on doing in the last 6 if I can ever get suppressed and scheduled ( I actually DO NOT rearrange my schedule for treatment any longer- big HUGE step).

Hang in there.

J

PS I wanted to choked Kirk Herbstriet even - do you know he has FIVE kids??? UGH!