SolaMama

Peeing pete ended up at my house. I don't even know if I have the energy to go into the whole story. He needed to borrow my utility trailer, I needed sex. It was a good trade . He came over, we had incredible sex, he took me out to dinner, we had a few cocktails, we came back to the house, had another coctail, more sex and then hung out for a bit. I honestly expected him to come over get ther trailer, have sex and leave. It was nice. I still can't stand him, still would NEVER take him back but it was so nice to have a man around. It was so comfortable while he was here. The weird thing was after he left, I am sitting here thinking "I don't even know who that was!" It is like he left a long time ago and I still think about him every now and then. As if he is almost a figment of my imagination. I though he was here but it seems like it was so long ago, it doesn't count. I know I could never go back to him. And honestly that really saddens me. To know that I have feelings for someone I can't trust, and know that I will never be with. I could ask him to come back and he would but I don't want him. But I still care. I know I am making no sense. What a waste.