shaking2

So much has went on since then, after this blog I probably won't be able to blog till Christmas. Shelby is getting so big, and oh so smart , she is starting to really talk alot and it amazes me that she has picked up so many words in this short period of time. She doesn't get to see her Papaw and Mamaw because they live 6 hours away, but she knows that she talks to them on the phone, so when she picks up the phone she will talk to them. Just soo cute.

For Halloween she learned ...

on Monday!!!!!!!
I am not looking forward to this, I think about staying home and then feel bad about it, like I should have a job. So I will see how it all goes.

I need to blog more about happy things ...Gosh I read this blog and think oh my, I was so depressed there for a week, when everything was not going well.

I know things are going to get better though, I have a beautiful DD and a great DH. So if more children are not in the plan of life then ...

This week is a packed one...
Wed. my niece is having her birthday party, she will be 11 and she is so excited. On Thursday I have a family of 14 to photograph and if my DH gets Friday off from his job, we will be leaving right after to go to Kentucky to visit my IL's and for a family reunion.

We have not went to the family reunion in a few years now, but DH's Grandma is not doing so well, she seems to have good days and bad days so I thought we need to go see her. Grandma just ...

It sure was a long weekend here, and this week has not been much better.
I never thought that shutting the door on IF was going to be this hard. I thought I would be content with having Shelby and now I want that 2nd child so bad. I have found myself in tears everyday, even when I am doing other things and it's not on my mind.

I also feel like I am so alone and that no body understands how I feel. My neighbor said today, look how active Shelby is..and you want another one...like ...

I got the call from the Dr. about 12 today saying that my BETA was NEGATIVE. I really was expecting it, but when I think about this being the end of my IF journey, I just want to cry
I wanted my DD to have a sibling to grow up with, giggle with, fight with...all the things that siblings like to do. Now as I sit here and write this I hope for great friends in her life. I hope she is blessed with true friendship. We have a great family but all the kids are older then her. My youngest ...

I have my beta on the 27th, but am 11dp5dt and BFN...this sucks!!!
This was our last eymbro and our last try at IVF. It's sad that unless a surprise comes along I can't give my dd a sibling to go through life with. I am very blessed to have her though, she is a beautiful baby.

yesterday I read a story on FT about a lady getting an abortion because she didn't want to be pregnant right now...how selfish is that....there are so many people out there that would love to give a ...

It's been a long week so far, I feel like it's just zooming by...
I am now 5dp5dt and want to HPT SOOO bad...I am trying not to give in. With Shelby I got a neg. reading all the way up to the day before my beta. So we will see.
My mom made a comment to day that really hurt my feelings and I hope that I will be able to prove her wrong. A lady asked while we were out if Shelby was her only grandchild and she said "no, she's my last..Thank God!!!!!!"
I was like WHAT......... ...

It's Monday morning already and what a weekend...we are going to Uncle Dave's this morning to go through the paper work and make sure all the bills are being paid and let everyone know of his passing.



On a good note Shelby had a great time with her Aunt and Uncle and cousins, when I got there she was not even coming to me..she just sat there and looked at my niece like ...oh I guess I have to go home...
It was a nice feeling though!!

I had my FET yesterday, out of the 3 blasts that we had one made it to transfer. The embryo was already starting to hatch, so I hope thats a good sign.
If this doesn't work then Shelby will be our only child, unless it happens on our own somehow.

Shelby stayed a couple nights at my brother and sister in law's house. She is having so much fun, she has 3 cousins that are playing with her and a dog..LOL

On a sad note, my Uncle passed away yesterday morning, that ...

It has been such a long week, Shelby has a cold and is very cranky, my poor baby, she is always so happy. Hopefully it will pass soon.

I go to the RE tomorrow for an US and blood work to get ready for my FET. I am excited, but also know that this is our last chance. I hope to give Shelby a brother or a sister to grow up with. If not though that will be ok too. We have a beautiful daughter to be VERY thankful for and love her to pieces.

Shelby is getting better at standing ...