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It took a lot of positive self talk a bath a shower and jumping around but I feel alive and good right at this second. I need to keep it going...

I was laying on my floor looking out the picture window at the sky wondering at the marvels of God... I ve got to keep that with me HE is with me.

Wow!! I cannot believe I've actually decided to create my own blog!

I've always loved writing. English was my favourite subject at school.

I'm not quite sure how this blog is actually going to go. I mean, I've always wanted to write about my life, but I've always also wanted to keep a daily/weekly diary about my everyday happenings - you know - the kind where you pour out your entire innermost thoughts, only to go back a month later and think "Silly Dork!!" ...

I started BCP's on Monday--21 days and then shortly after that, Baseline U/S and then I begin stimming around 3/17/05.
I am having a sonohistogram on Thursday, so I am remaining positive that there's nothing wrong with my uterus. If there is, I will cycle in April 2005.
I have been so sick for about a week now--I have walking pneumonia and a sinus infection. Whew, I don't think I have ever felt so run down. The first antibiotic gave me hives, and the second one made me throw up all ...

It's quite cold here. Usually London weather isn't harsh--not like the weather in Canada or the northern U.S. It's the rawness of the air, the cloud cover, and the very short days that make people think London winters are so awful. Anyway, the last few days it's been cold enough to flurry on and off several times, which has caused quite a sensation.

I don't think Nicky likes the snow, probably because he associates it with being muffled in all kinds of winter gear, including ...

I told my sister by email today, although I think that may be a mistake. She is in an unhappy marriage and has two kids. Neither of which she had any problems conceiving.

She has always seen me as flighty, lazy, irresponsible, book smart, but lacking common sense. I hope that she will not write back to me that she doesn't feel I could handle motherhood. I certainly wouldn't smoke and drink around my kids, but yet she finds that acceptible. And I'M the one that won't ...

Here are the results from today's ultrasound:

Sunday's E2 level was 534, will get today's E2 level results this afternoon
Lining is 10mm
Right: 10, 11, 11, 14
Left: 10, 12, 13, 13, 16, 18, 20

So, things are looking up. I was so worried on Sunday when they only found 3 follies after being back on 150 of follistim, I just kept thinking, what if I'm not responding to the follistim anymore?? Then IVF won't work either! But, it looks like my body ...

Dh just called after his doctor's appointment.. looks like knee surgery.. we hopefully have that surgery covered money wise but just the time off work is hard on our money situation.. he's wanting to get his shoulder surgery done at the same time.. He needs it done as well.. I feel like he's falling apart physically.. Jeez he's only 28.. and he's had back surgery already and now we are looking at shoulder and knee surgery? The money is stressing me out.. It wouldn't be a big deal if we didn't ...

Hi again Welcome to my bloggie. Been a week since my last update. H had his surgery and did well. He went back to work yesterday but had a big blowout with the boss and ended up quitting his job. Sooooooooo he's now job hunting. I've been trying to help him by looking online for things that he can do or has done in the past, but he keeps bringing up xcuses "oh I can't do that job b/c of my back...oh I can't do that job b/c of my eyes", so I have no idea what in the world is going to ...

actually it's just started but i'm naming all my blogs this week with a song title or lyric. just call me inventive!

baby's plastibell circumcision thing fell off in the middle of the night. i was really bothered by this circumcision and if i had it to do over i would have left all three boys intact. but i deferred to dh since i do not have a penis.

kiddos went to the zoo all day yesterday with my folks. they had a grand time. i rested and hung out with baby. ...

I just figured out that my boss is monitoring my internet/email. I usually just checked in for refresher "breaks"....but now I guess I will have to find another outlet. Hmmmmm...

How will I survive?