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today the world jus took a spin and turned upside down for me..... am still in shock.... The thing is last week i was ranting about my BFN and how my hpt was negative and feelin more low knowing my sis was preggo n not me.... god jus listened to me and dropped some of the luck in my belly too.... I was still waitin for AF to show up and when it didnt i went to the doc... i told her i had negative hpt on 14dpo but no AF yet...

she got a urine test done as she was also kind of thinking ...

My as it crappy 2WW ended today... and needless to say it was BFN as i took a HPT today morning.... So am back to square one again andf waiting for ol' AF to show up so that i can start my gruelling 2WW again in 3 weeks.... but am not much upset this time as i was feeling its negative all along cos i had no symptoms at all of PG xcept cramping....

And to put the cherry on the cake my mom told me that my sis is PG again "accidentally".... she already has a girl and got pg ...

So, I've moving forward (I think) towards adoption after various failed attempts though fertility (....which I still don't know if I'm holding on to that with future hope,) but anyways, we are going to be starting the home study probably next week once we get the rest of the paper work in. I'm exited, nervous and know that it will still take a while for everything to happen but it might be quick, and honestly that stresses me out too. We've been trying for so long to have a baby and to just get ...

I've been struggling to get this man in my life to fully *BE* in the relationship with me - to commit his whole heart and mind to me, me, ME - to fall "IN love" with me and not just "love me" -- I know men don't "work" the same way we women do, but I’m sure there's a way to make this kind of love happen and well, it looks like we’re committed to working on it! And I know for sure that what we'd been doing - in fact, we have recognized that what we've always done (and ...

Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be ****ed if you do, and ****ed if you don't.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Hopefully when i see the RE I can start IVF. I know I'll be on BCs for a couple of weeks which means I have to wait until my next cycle to start taking them which is in mid December. I am so excited to get started!

I am already visualizing the whole process for I have waited such a long time to conceive.

Whoever said "Patience is a virtue" is absolutely right because it seems like I have been waiting a life time.

My journey has already begun ...

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain

Just logging my information. Today was my final visit to the RE before my ER on Thursday.

Lining was 9.2 (which he said is great). Right side he sees about 8, left he sees 4. So he thinks he'll be getting around 12 eggs.

Right side largest are measuring 20x17, 19x18, 19x15, 16x15.
Left side largest are measuring 22x15, 18x17, 20x16

ER is scheduled for 9 am.

They will call me on Friday with the results and when my ET will be. Could ...

Just to recap my whole IVF experience...

Started stims on September 24th 150 follism (AM) 1cc micro Hcg (PM)

Triggered with 1/2 of dose on October 4th at 9:30 PM

Egg retrieval was at 8:30 AM on October 6th (33 eggs retrieved and 14 were mature)

Embryo transfer of 2 (8A) embies on day three October 9th!

October 17th first POSitive HPT 8dp3dt or 11DPO

October 21st 1st beta was 206!! 15DPO 12dp3dt

October ...

saw my RE again today for my 3rd follie check. i have no idea how many follicles i have, i just know i have a few on both sides. i'd say they're going to get at least 7 good eggs and a total of 12. or something like that. my head was pretty much spinning as he was calling all the numbers out. i'd say the average was about 18 in size. he said my lining was 8.2 which is smaller than saturday which was 8.6. that didn't seem to concern him though.

i dont know if it's the drugs or hormones ...