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Gabe, today again has reminded me what a beautiful little boy you were. You brought strength and love unknown to me and I can't imagine my life without ever knowing you.

Remembering you and all of your sweet angel friends. Give Kendall Robert a hug for me and keep watching over me.

October 15th, 2007......remembering and honoring all of the little ones who were lost too soon.
My sweet precious A & B, not a day goes by that i don't think of you. You gave me the best 21wks 4 dys of my life. The heartache of losing you has made me grow in a way that i never imagined possible. In my heart i feel your lives were somehow taken so three other lives could be spared. You have three wonderful little sisters who know about about you and will be honoring you both as we ...

Yup, this is what B did as we were walking in for gymnastics. We are going down the hallway and all of a sudden i hear her make a funny gulping sound and then her typical scream before she vomits. It amazes me how children can act fine one minute and then all of a sudden throw up. She has been laying on the couch with a fever. She did get up to eat and seems to be keeping it down. I will be keeping everything crossed that this is a just a one time occurance and it's just a 24 hour bug that ...

Thinking of all our babies and all the years on the TAL boards we spent together b/c of our angels.

I lit many candles for all the women all over the world hurting from infant and pg loss.

I had bought special candles when I found out about the molar....one for healing....one for protection.

I never used them while I was pregnant.

I lit them tonight in honor of my girls......and one more in honor of all the babies lost.....

As I am sitting here crying...thinking about how their little flames were extinguished much too soon....I am missing them so much.

I have no idea how people feel better eventually.....I just feel so empty. ...

Well what a nice surprise for me! I show up at the appointment at 2:45 pm and find out that they were trying to call me to cancel it, but I missed the calls. Good thing, because I can't wait for this anymore.

Anyway, the doctor saw me and he is just gorgeous! OMG! At least that was something to be upbeat about. He is the thoracic surgeon and at first I saw a neurosurgeon at the same hospital. They may have to do the surgery together. Don't know yet. First I have to get blood ...

Lane had good reports last week, good spelling test, etc.. but this week it's back to square one. He also did not turn in his homework last week ( after reminding him several times to do so- I got him to do it and put it in his backpack but once he gets to school what can I do? ) and he didn't do his homework over the weekend. Today he came home with not one.. but 3 D's, and a C paper. His spelling test was full of mixed up letters .. I got on the phone and made an eye appointment and ...

I am so excited that I signed up for the membership that allows blogging. I've been wanting to do it for quite some time and haven't but I think writing my feelings down will be good for me..

Anyways, I am finally off BCP on Wednesday! I am so excited about it because this weekend, I will be starting stims. Last month, it was cancelled because of a gynormous cyst and high E2 caused by the lovely thing so everything better be a-ok this time.

I started acupuncture ...

Remembering my sweet boy Jacob who was stillborn at 24 weeks on October 13, 2000.

And as I light my candle tonight (one that was given to me by my dear friend Christine - mommy to Paul and Jack), I will remember the light that our angel babies continue to be in our lives.

(((Hugs))) to all of my fellow loss mommies.