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I'm going to post here all these little hopes instead of continuing to post this stuff on the group...

I'm a little more hopeful today. I have a week... a week is a longer time than I was admitting... still plenty of time to go on my own.

Tonight, after much tiny wiggling and resulting bh type contractions, baby has suddenly moved his/her head more engaged. I can feel the hiccups deep, deep inside down there, front and center. I'm going to do a bunch of upright ...

I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight

Yup, I've resorted to wishing on a f*&#%#ing star.

It is really really hard to face a childless future. It is really really hard to admit that I might not ever have a baby. Really d*mn hard.

For those who don't know (but I think it's quite obvious at this point in this post) my last cycle was BFN.

What can I say that I haven't already said in many of my previous posts? ...

What are some of your favorite songs?

[video=youtube;-xzDhLvhgQw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xzDhLvhgQw[/video]

I hit 20 weeks pregnant yesterday!! All I have is numbers going through my head. I am 20 weeks pregnant. I have 10 more weeks till we move and less than that to sell the house. The house had been on the market 2 weeks and has only had 2 showings. Not looking so good! We are going to sit down with our realtor on Monday and disscus a short sale in hopes that we can try to sell period. We need to sell this house!! Girl scout cookies came last week and all I have is numbers running through my head!! ...

I cant' believe it's here already. I knew february since October but I just can't get over it's tomorrow. I should be cleaning and packing and yet here I am on line looking up hotels in NYC and places to go and things to do. I think shopping a few of the big sites are in our plans. I am freaking out for tomorrow. Being put under doesn't bother me in the least but recovering from an abdominal hystorectomy well that is freaking me out. No driving for upto 3 weeks due it to be witner here, no laundry, ...

I cant' believe it's here already. I knew february since October but I just can't get over it's tomorrow. I should be cleaning and packing and yet here I am on line looking up hotels in NYC and places to go and things to do. I think shopping a few of the big sites are in our plans. I am freaking out for tomorrow. Being put under doesn't bother me in the least but recovering from an abdominal hystorectomy well that is freaking me out. No driving for upto 3 weeks due it to be witner here, no laundry, ...

I cant' believe it's here already. I knew february since October but I just can't get over it's tomorrow. I should be cleaning and packing and yet here I am on line looking up hotels in NYC and places to go and things to do. I think shopping a few of the big sites are in our plans. I am freaking out for tomorrow. Being put under doesn't bother me in the least but recovering from an abdominal hystorectomy well that is freaking me out. No driving for upto 3 weeks due it to be witner here, no laundry, ...

I can listen to this song over and over.



[video=youtube;4JK_6osCH74]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JK_6osCH74&feature=related[/video]

Went to Syracuse yesterday to find out that my ovaries are still stimulated from the injectables last month. So I'm on two weeks worth of birth control and then lupron. I'm kind of disappointed as I wanted to jump right it in and go for it, but that didn't work out like that. Hopefully this protocol will be the ticket and everything will work according to plan. I keep looking at sites on the internet about IVF what the odds are and such, I think I'm starting to freak myself out. I went to a ...

I've been crying since before 6 am. Work was bad again as usual; ended up sobbing in the mgr's office yet again. He won't move me to produce b/c he says it would be a waste.. of my 'managerial skills' & money. So, I'm stuck. He wants me to take a managerial position but again it would mean a paycut. I am now willing to look at options should the right one open up.

The BIG HR people were down all day yesterday. One supervisor was fired (nice kid but lazy & completely discouraged ...