http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/ Infertility and Adoption online interactive support community for your family-building efforts. Information and discussion includes infertility, adoption, pregnancy, parenting and surrogacy issues. en Tue, 18 Jun 2013 04:40:33 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/ http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77502-27weeks-pregnant.html Wed, 28 Nov 2012 04:45:34 GMT Hello friends, I am very sorry I have not been on here in a very long time. I lost baby b on 8-05-12 at 10w 5d pregnant. I woke up in the middle of the night gushing of red blood. I could not get the bleeding to stop and I felt like I was trying to faint. I went to the ER the next morning. I... Hello friends,
I am very sorry I have not been on here in a very long time. I lost baby b on 8-05-12 at 10w 5d pregnant. I woke up in the middle of the night gushing of red blood. I could not get the bleeding to stop and I felt like I was trying to faint. I went to the ER the next morning. I honestly though I had lost both babies. Baby A had held on somehow.
I like to call her my miracle baby. I continued to have bleeding until around 14 weeks. I had my babies nuchal fold checked by sonogram but I refused any other testing. I see a high risk clinic in addition to my OB. Baby has looked great at all her check up praise God!! We found out at 17 weeks pregnant that she is a girl. She is an active little blessing. She is also measuring a week ahead. I give thanks to God that everything has gone well so far and I continue to pray that things stay that way. I am in love with her already. ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77502-27weeks-pregnant.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77389-i-am-now-9weeks-1-day.html Wed, 25 Jul 2012 17:01:42 GMT Hello Ladies, I have not been on in a while for 2 reasons. The first being I was on vacation from 7/12-7/17 and the second being that I have not felt good at all since I have returned. I am queazy, sleepy and moody most all the time.

The last time I posted I had had my sonogram at my OB's office at 6 weeks 6 days and baby b had made her appearance. 3 days later I left for my vacation. First I had to buy some maternity shorts because all my other clothes are already tight tight lol. I never ever check my bag because of the fear of it getting lost. Well this time I had to check it in because I had all my progesterone in oil injection supplies in my bag. Well this was a traveling day from hell. We left on time but then got diverted in Houston due to a thunderstorm. Then when we finally arrived, We had missed our flight to Newark but our bags hopped on the next flight. We then had to fly to Laguardia. They were going to try and intercept our bags and send them to meet us but I guess they didnt. So, we arrived 8 hrs later than expected and no bags! Luckily I had taken a bottle of prometrium and some crinone in my purse. My bag finally made it to the hotel the next morning. So I only missed 1 injection, but I took a prometrium and inserted a crinone in its place. Our vacation was very nice. I mananged many naps. We returned home with no problems. But the very next morning..........pink mixed with my discharge! And it continued more than usual. I called the RE office to tell them and to ask when would be best to makeup my progesterone check I had missed on the prior friday. They said if I wanted to come in that day. They could check my progesterone and do a sonogram to check things out. I went but I was worried about the sonogram. At this point I was 8 weeks 1 day. My RE is the one with the dinosaur sonogram machine and she is the one who told me that my second sac was empty. Well right away we could see both babies but baby b is still smaller. She zoomed in on baby a and he had a heartbeat of 176 measuring right on target. She quickly glanced at baby b and told me that it had stopped growing at 6 weeks. She does not know I had the other sonogram at my OB. The OB sono tech told me baby b is sitting further back and hard to see until we do abdominal ultrasounds. The OB sono machine is also state of the art. I was a little upset that my RE did not attempt to zoom in on baby b, she just told me sorry it didnt make it and went on. She then looked for the source of my spotting. And she found a bleed near baby a. She said it is because baby a is kinda close to my cervix but that it will stop in a few weeks. So what I am trying to say is that I am not going to take my RE's word that baby b did not make it. Dont get me wrong, I am perfectly happy with 1 or 2 babies but I do not want to mourn the loss and then find out 2 weeks later from my OB that everything ok. So for now, I am just not going to think about it. Since then I have that pink stuff every morning but its gone the rest of the day. I am still giving myself the pio injections but my poor hips are very tender and swollen.

I go back to the RE tomorrow (Thursday). I am going to have a progesterone check and ask about how they plan to wean me off the progesterone. They had told me before that I would get off the injections at week 10 and thats next Tuesday. I am a little nervous about getting off of pio. They will probably do another sono as well. If baby b is gone then we will know its over, if it is still there, then I will wait patiently for my next OB appt.

You know I told myself that I would not worry after I saw a heartbeat on a sonogram. Well it hasnt quite worked out that way. I AM STILL WORRIED! I worry about both my little ones. Now I keep telling myself that when I reach 12 weeks I will be ok. But who knows!

I continue my prayers and gratitude to GOD. I thank him for this journey called life. ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77389-i-am-now-9weeks-1-day.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77367-6w6d-sonogram-more.html Mon, 09 Jul 2012 22:21:01 GMT First off, I was worried last week after my sonogram. I feared something would go wrong because I really had no symptoms after the 1st sonogram. I prayed and prayed that everything be ok. I went in for my labs on Friday morning which would be 30dpo. It was only supposed to be for progesterone but... First off, I was worried last week after my sonogram. I feared something would go wrong because I really had no symptoms after the 1st sonogram. I prayed and prayed that everything be ok. I went in for my labs on Friday morning which would be 30dpo. It was only supposed to be for progesterone but they ran it for hcg and progesterone. I did not get my results until late that afternoon. My hcg was 30,201 and my progesterone was 18.01. I had done 2 days of crinone prior to my labs because my son went to visit his father. Needless to say, I dont feel comfortable with my progesterone at 18. The Dr said it was ok but Im not feeling it. So ladies, I did my progesterone injection by myself Friday night. I used the 22g needle too because I knew I would not be able to push in the 25g. I am so very proud of myself!! You know its not bad at all. I really dont feel it. So I am going to do PIO only from now on even on my vacation. Saturday I hosted my Family Reunion and I did A WHOLE LOT! I was worried I maybe overdid it. I just continued to pray that God protect my little one.

My OB had suggested a sonogram for their records and I had scheduled it for this morning. I did not tell but 2 people about it to lessen the stress of questions. I did not even tell my hubby I was going. So this morning I went in for my sonogram and what do you know? Baby B showed up!! Baby B is measuring a week behind Baby A. Baby A is measuring on target with a hearbeat rate of 138. Baby B has a heartbeat rate of 128. My OB said that because Baby B is measuring behind, There is still a chance we may lose her. But because she has a good strong heartbeat, she may stick around as well!! I am praying that God keeps my babies safe and healthy. I will do my part as well. They gave me some pictures and I headed home. I then had to call the hubby and let him know the news. He just giggled and giggled lol. I told him baby b must be a girl like me because I am always late to everything!!

I am so happy today. I feel at peace and at ease. I am so grateful to God for everything in my life. God bless you all!! ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77367-6w6d-sonogram-more.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77362-sonogram-27dpo.html Thu, 05 Jul 2012 03:10:37 GMT I had a long weekend of worry. I did finally stop testing after my 3rd beta. I have had a couple of pink mixed with my cm days. Dr says not to worry but I still do a little. Monday I took two of my cats to the vet and they both had minor surgery. So Monday flew by. Once 8 pm comes along, I get my... I had a long weekend of worry. I did finally stop testing after my 3rd beta. I have had a couple of pink mixed with my cm days. Dr says not to worry but I still do a little. Monday I took two of my cats to the vet and they both had minor surgery. So Monday flew by. Once 8 pm comes along, I get my injection ready and then I am ready for bed lol. Well Tuesday morning came and I went to work. It kept me from over thinking that morning and the morning flew by. I met my hubby at home at noon. We drove to our appointment. They called us in about 4:20pm. I was super nervous then! While I was waiting in the room, you have no idea how bad I wanted to stick that wand up myself ha! The Dr finally came in and did her thing. I was 6weeks that day. Right away I saw the two sacs. Dr concentrated on one. It was gorgeous!!! I could see the little blessing!! Thank Lord Jesus you are great and wonderful!! She measured and he measures perfect. And he has a heartbeat of 109!! I then couldn't help myself and tears started flowing. Then she quickly scanned the other sac and told us she thinks it is empty and probably won't be there at next ultrasound. All I said was "Im glad we transferred two". I will admit I am sad about the one that stopped growing but I know that things happen as they are supposed to. So my friends, I am extremely blessed and happy but also cautious. I pray to God everyday all day that he keeps us safe! It is however in his hands!! My kids and my husband are so happy. We are in this together! I have my weekly progesterone checks still but not scheduled to see my RE until July 26. My OB called and they would like a sonogram done soon for their records. I am seriously thinking I am going to schedule one soon. Until then, may God bless every one of us!! ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77362-sonogram-27dpo.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77355-23dpo-18dp5dt-3rd-beta.html Sat, 30 Jun 2012 02:49:27 GMT I will admit that this past week was a looooong one. I have felt fine. My breasts are only a little sore every once and a blue moon. I have not had any more pink. I am more hungry and thirsty than usual. My son is still giving me my PIO and I dont seem to be getting as sore the next day. I guess my... I will admit that this past week was a looooong one. I have felt fine. My breasts are only a little sore every once and a blue moon. I have not had any more pink. I am more hungry and thirsty than usual. My son is still giving me my PIO and I dont seem to be getting as sore the next day. I guess my poor ole hiney is getting used to them.

My big idea to have my beta drawn at my OB's office kinda back fired on me! I was thinking I would drive 20 minutes, get my labs drawn and then get my results 2 hrs later. Easy enough right? Well not for me. I was stressed as it was. Another thing, I usually have bad or crazy dreams. Last night my dream was a good dream. I had a dream that my beta was perfect. I felt kind of scared when I woke up. When I got in my car this morning I had this weird feeling of regret. I told myself I should just drive to Lubbock as I could still make it by 10:15. But I didnt, I drove on to Midland. When I got there, there were two girls ahead of me. One of which is a precious friend I work with. Then I overheard the news! " the machine is broke so results will not be ready until 4-5pm". Oh crap! Why didnt I just go to where I have been going. I called my Dr's office but they said they close at noon so I should just stay in Midland. So I do. I got my blood drawn and then I walked outside and sat on a bench for a little while. I prayed and calmed myself down. I finally drove away and went to get myself some breakfast. Apparently I just needed to eat, because my mood brightened up as soon as I ate. My sister then came over and we went to a few stores and had lunch. I then came home and waited. Finally at 4:30pm I got the call: beta 7,079 and progesterone was 38. I gave thanks to God first and foremost. I prayed and wanted to cry! I am very grateful and I very blessed. I will continue to pray that my pregnancy will continue to progress. My sonogram is Tuesday late afternoon.

Dear God thank you for life! God bless you all that read my little blog. I pray for all of us to have successful journeys! ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77355-23dpo-18dp5dt-3rd-beta.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77350-15dp5dt-20dpo.html Tue, 26 Jun 2012 19:18:59 GMT Hello friends!
After much thought, I wrote all the questions and concerns I had for my Dr and faxed them to my Dr's office. I figured it would give them time to give my concerns plenty of thought and also let them get back to me at their convenience. Or they could have just had a good laugh on me lol. Besides, I always forget half of what I intended on saying when I get on the phone.

I was told I could start to cut back on my V8/gaterade consumption since it looks like I am in the clear of OHSS. I have very little bloating and I have not gained any weight. Its amazing isnt it? My estrodial level was 6300 the day before retrieval. I did start those pills(cabergoline/dostinex) same day as my trigger though and took them for 8 nights. I also drink 64oz of V8, along with 3 to 6 gaterades and 3 large bottled waters a day!

I was informed that the hubby and I could resume our relations. But I think I am going to hold off on telling him until I know everything is ok with my pregnancy.

I also got permission to have my beta/progesterone that needs to be checked this coming Friday at my OB's office. This way it will only be a 20 minute drive and I will be there right at 8:30am. My fear of something going wrong comes and goes. I pray that My Great Lord will keep my embies safe and healthy. I have to talk to myself about this all the time. I have to remind myself that my other babies got stuck in my tubes and it was unfortunate and not meant to be at that time. I saw these beautiful embies enter my uterus and glow with glory. I did have a scare yesterday again. I had some mild pink spotting when I wiped. I did do more than I have in a while so maybe that was it. Whatever it was, it scares me to no end. I have to remind myself that there is nothing I can do but pray and take good care of myself.

I did get my Dr to agree to do my sonogram at 6weeks instead of 7. So if all is good with my labs this friday, sonogram is on for Tuesday the 3rd. Dear God, please let me have good numbers this friday. I am still taking hpt's becaue I am a poas-aholic. I take FRER's. The test line is super dark and the control line is light but they have stayed that way for a few days now. I do wonder if this is what they are going to look like from now on even if beta is going up. I know I should stop testing but thats easier said than done.

Lastly I asked to stay on PIO injections. They said I could change to Crinone but with my deductable not being met yet, it was going to cost me more than the PIO. The injections dont bother me at all. Sure I get sore the day after but only on one side. I keep a heat patch on it and it is ready to go in 2 days again. I am going to buy a few Crinone to use on my vacation. One of the other reasons I chose to not do the Crinone full time is what I read about the build up. I have never had yeast infections or much of anything going on down there and I really dont want to.

So wonderful ladies, I feel pretty good. I do get tired easily and often but thank God I am home most of the time. I do have my fears and sometimes they become overwhelming. I do settle down and do the only thing I can. And that is Pray and have Faith in Miracles. ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77350-15dp5dt-20dpo.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77348-11dp5dt-16dpo.html Sat, 23 Jun 2012 01:28:15 GMT I did not blog yesterday as I worked a few hours and then I was very tired the rest of the day. I have been feeling more tired than anything. My breasts are not tender, I find that a little odd. My bloating is very mild, I sure can't wear certain jeans because its uncomfortable. I had not felt much in the way of cramps until today as I drove home from Lubbock. The feeling is more like an occasional throb in my right side bladder area. My daughter and my V8 rode with me. My appointment was at 9:45 today and I was a little late again. They drew my labs at 10. They called me at 11:30 with my results. My beta today was 635. So it doubled plus a little extra. I am very happy with my results!!! But I must confess fear is creeping my way again. They scheduled me for another draw next Friday. I think what has me worried is that they scheduled my sonogram for July 13. I am soooo scared that's too long. I am going to call on Monday to request a sooner date. Until then, In all things I give thanks to God. I will continue to pray, pray, and pray some more!!! ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77348-11dp5dt-16dpo.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77343-9dp5dt.html Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:11:27 GMT And todays Beta is: ........................................................................................................................................................ ... And todays Beta is: .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..

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.................................................. .................................................. .........266.........Thank you Lord Jesus!

Spotting has not returned. I continue to pray pray and pray for a healthy pregnancy. ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77343-9dp5dt.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77340-8dp5dt.html Wed, 20 Jun 2012 02:25:34 GMT Beta is tomorrow at 10:45am. I am nervous. My tests are still positive and seem to be getting darker. But even with that, I am still worried. I had a big scare today or should I say, having a big scare today. I went to work today. I arrived at 9am and I think I overdid it. As a matter of fact, I... Beta is tomorrow at 10:45am. I am nervous. My tests are still positive and seem to be getting darker. But even with that, I am still worried. I had a big scare today or should I say, having a big scare today. I went to work today. I arrived at 9am and I think I overdid it. As a matter of fact, I think I overdid it yesterday as well. I cleaned up around the house and cooked last night and I started having back pains. Today at work I did a fairly long treatment. I was bent uncomfortably for a while. My back started hurting again. And then when I went to the restroom, I saw it : (. It was pink spotting. It was mixed with discharge. Of course I freaked. I am still worried but I know there is nothing I can do but pray that God will protect my embies. I promptly came home and have been resting since. Please my Lord take away my fears and give me strength. Keep me and my embies safe and healthy. In Jesus name I Pray.

I had promised about posting the supplements my hubby and I took before our IVF. My husband had 2 full semen analysis and he had very good results. But our RE said she thought it wouldnt hurt for him to take some supplements. I had my day3 fsh tested in February 2011 and my result was 9.3. I had also had my AMH tested in May 2011 and my result was 3.2. So I wanted to take the supplements to see they would help my eggs.

First of all, After my ectopic rupture in Oct 2011 I lost weight. I lost 20lbs from Nov 2011 to Jan 2012. I think this helped out a whole lot. I had my day4 fsh tested on March 3 and it was 8.3 so I was very happy. I started taking wheatgrass pills at the beginning of March. I started out with 5 pills every morning on an empty stomach and I got a cleansing effect from it. I then moved up to 10 pills every morning on an empty stomach because It kept me regular and I felt fabulous. I went to see my 2nd RE and he suggested I start taking a prenatal, 5mg of folic acid, a B-complex vitamin, 600mg of Alpha Lipoic Acid, and 400mg of CoQ10. He explained to me that for someone my age, the mitochondria starts to slow down. He said the key to good eggs was good mitochondria. Well I started taking them that day! I then started searching iherb . com for the best of these supplements. And what do you know, I started feeling so good that I just kept adding and adding to my list of supplements. My hubby did not start his until we had the consultation with our 3rd and final RE. So he only took his for almost 2 months. I took mine for a little over 3 months. So here is our lists.

Mine:
1 tsp Royal Jelly in honey-I would wake up and take this asap.(for egg quality)(YS brand)
45 minutes later:
1 300 mg R Lipoic Acid-I researched that this was better absorbed than ALA (for mitochondria)(LifeExtension)
1 800 mg L Arginine (for egg quality)(LifeExtension)
1 hr later:
10 wheatgrass tablets-with lots of water, I drank A LOT of water during this time.(to lower fsh)(Amazing Grass)

With my lunch I took:
3-1mg folic acid(RX)
1-1000mg fish oil(Pure Encapsulations)
1-5000iu Vitamin D3 (I have been taking this for a while because my level was tested at it was very low(Pure)
1-750mg Milk thistle (for liver health)(LifeExtension)
1-150mg Magnesium citrate (this should always be taken with Vit D3)(Natural Factors)
1-200mg CoQ10 (for mitochondria)(Healthy Origins)
1-200mg Ubiquinol (could not decide between ubiquinone or ubiquinol so I decided on both)(Healthy Origins)
1-100mg Vitamin E (natures sunshine)
1-carotenALL tablet (mixed carotenoid complex) (by Jarrow)
1-B-Right B-Complex (for mitochondria) (by Jarrow)
1-1500mg Royal Jelly capsule (for egg quality) (Now Foods)

Around 3pm on an empty stomach:
1-300mg R Lipoic Acid(LifeExtension)
1-800mg L Arginine(LifeExtension)

With Supper:
Prenatal Vitamin(Super Nutrition)
Prenatal fish oil(Nordic Naturals)
2-1mg folic acid (RX)
1-200mg Coq10(Healthy Origins)
1-5000iu Vit D3 (Pure encapsulations)
1-150mg Magnesium citrate (natural factors)
2-100mg Vit E (nature's sunshine brand)
1-1000mg Vit C (nature's sunshine brand)
1-carotenALL tablet (by Jarrow)
1-1500mg Royal Jelly capsule (Now Foods)

For the Hubby:
In the AM on an empty stomach:
2-ProCreation (I still giggle at this name)
1-500mg L Arginine(Now Foods)
1-750mg Milk Thistle(LifeExtensions)

With his lunch:
1-1000mg Vitamin C (Natural Factors)
1-400mg Vitamin E (Nature's Way 100% natural)
1-5000iu Vit D3 (Pure encapsulations)
1-150mg Magnesium citrate (Natural Factors)
1-200mg Ubiquinol (Healthy Origins)
1-1000mg fish oil (Pure encapsulations)

Now I know this list looks overwhelming, but I added things in little by little. I got used to it and did not mind taking it. I could take all 13 pills at a time in 1 gulp.


I now will leave you for tonight my friends. I must get a good nights sleep and say all my prayers.

I still believe in God, Faith, and Miracles....... ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77340-8dp5dt.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77335-6dp5dt.html Mon, 18 Jun 2012 05:37:18 GMT My tests are still positive! Thank you Jesus! I have been taking them every 12 hrs and they seem to be darkening well. I stocked up on more V8 today. And when I say stock up, I mean stock up lol. I purchased 7 64oz bottles! I told my husband that my skin is going to change color with all this... My tests are still positive! Thank you Jesus! I have been taking them every 12 hrs and they seem to be darkening well. I stocked up on more V8 today. And when I say stock up, I mean stock up lol. I purchased 7 64oz bottles! I told my husband that my skin is going to change color with all this tomato juice. And I also bought 4-8pks of gaterade. I am taking this OHSS fear very seriously.

Aside from my stockpile of drinks, I have been feeling fairly well. Mild bloating, afternoon naps, and occasional mild cramps.

My beta is scheduled for Wednesday at 10:45am. My sister is going to go with me this time. I pray for a nice beta. In the past with my ectopics it was always really low like 13. I pray this one is atleast 100. I had never got a bfp at 9dpo either but I had always dreamed of it.

Tomorrow I plan on writing about all the supplements I was on before my IVF. When you see the list, you are going to think Im a little nuts. But I truly believe they helped me produce good eggs. I would list them tonight but I am very sleepy. I just realized something, out of 15 fertilized eggs, only 5 were strong until day 5&6. Interesting.....

Now I will give thanks to God. And a big thank you to my friends that have kept my family and I in their prayers. Goodnight friends!! ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77335-6dp5dt.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77333-5dp5dt.html Sat, 16 Jun 2012 17:20:27 GMT I have spent most of my morning writing that extra long winded previous post. You will be very happy that I am going to keep this one short and sweet. Of course I took another test right at 7:30am. This time it was an FRER. The line is a little darker that yesterdays but not dramatically... I have spent most of my morning writing that extra long winded previous post. You will be very happy that I am going to keep this one short and sweet.

Of course I took another test right at 7:30am. This time it was an FRER. The line is a little darker that yesterdays but not dramatically darker. So now worry sets in. Even with my faith. I guess I would not be human if I didnt worry. Dont get me wrong, I am happy!!!! But I am not going to lie, I worry too. I worry about a chemical, I worry about a miscarriage, I worry they arent true bfp's, and I even worry about ectopic. They warned me there is still a slight chance of it happening even without tubes.

What can I do?? I can choose to worry to the point I make myself miserable or I can ignore it. Just ignore it. I can actually choose to be happy! And love, oh my how I do love you embies!!! I will continue to stare at the picture of my embies, stare at the picture of them all lit up in my plush uterus, and PRAY!

Pray and continue to thank God for all. ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77333-5dp5dt.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77332-4dp5dt-what-long-day.html Sat, 16 Jun 2012 17:02:56 GMT Today is Friday and I woke up at 6:30am. I had an appointment at 9:15am at my RE office for a progesterone check. And remember the office is over 2 hours away. I enjoyed my trip as I always do. I enjoy listening to the sirius radio. I arrived about 10 minutes late and I sat in the waiting room. I... Today is Friday and I woke up at 6:30am. I had an appointment at 9:15am at my RE office for a progesterone check. And remember the office is over 2 hours away. I enjoyed my trip as I always do. I enjoy listening to the sirius radio. I arrived about 10 minutes late and I sat in the waiting room. I then saw a friend I had made during my stimming trips to the RE. She is a beautiful lady who is as sweet as she can be. She was 1 day ahead of me in our IVF journey. I am 6 months older than her and we both have other children. Side note: the reason I stopped posting in IVF or infertility boards was out of respect. You see I have children and I would never ever try and compare myself with those who dont. My husband has none but honestly he really doesnt know any different so he is very happy with life as it is. I will go back and explain how I got to this place in my life:

I married my high school sweetheart at 19. Having a 17yr old daughter now, I realize that we were just a couple of kids. My first pregnancy was pretty much as normal as could be. We knew it was a baby girl. She was healthy and I carried her for 42 weeks. On February 18, 1992 I went in to get induced. I arrived on time and I was hooked up to the monitor and they started the medicine. Shortly after, Dr came in and said my baby was under stress. He said every time I had a contraction, her heart rate was going down. He said that is was probably because the water was old or because the cord was around her neck. So He said we were going to have a C-section. They prepped me for it and it was scheduled for 11:30am. I was ready and waiting and it was 11:10am. But then I felt a contraction coming on and the nurse told me to lay on my side. When I did that the heartbeat stopped. I felt the life come out of me. They rushed me to the OR. The last thing I remember was looking up at this milky looking substance going in an IV. When I woke I actually forgot where I was for a little bit. I then asked for her. The Dr came in and told me she did not make it. The cord had choked her. Everything else was a blur after that. I wanted to die. I saw my baby and remember my mother was so sad. Like a mother, she hurt for me and for her grandchild. My daddy was great. They took care of the funeral arrangements. We then laid her to rest. This is by far the most hurt I had ever felt until my dad died recently. I went on to have my baby girl 3 yrs later and my baby boy 3 years after that. My marriage was not ideal. My ex-husband is not a terrible person. He always worked and supported us. He was not abusive. He did like to drink and he liked to cheat. But I realize now, he was young. And so was I. My OB had been pressing me to have a tubal ligation since the birth of my son. I wish he would have suggested an IUD or something else but he didnt. I always wanted another child. I just did not want or need another with my husband at the time. So I decided on the tubal ligation but I promised myself that day, If I married the right person and we had the money for a reversal or IVF, I would do that. My new husband and I had been together 6 yrs before we decided on the reversal. After which we had 2 miscarriages, 2 iui's, 2ectopics, loss of both tubes with 3 surgeries in 6 months. So let me just say that it hasnt been exactly easy lol. But the reality is I feel this is how it was supposed to be. My family and I have come full circle. We are better human beings because of it all. When my first baby died, I was mad at God. Now my love for God is genuine. And my faith is comforting. So friends I have known the death of a baby, I have known miscarriage, and I have known ectopics, but I do not know infertility. My heart truly goes out to all of those who do.

So let me get back to my Dr visit. My friend told me she had had her transfer the day before me. She had 1 transferred because that is all they had left after 12 eggs. I told her it only takes one. We gave each other a big hug and then they called me back. I was only there all of about 5 minutes. They called me a little over an hour later with my level. My progesterone was at 24.4. She said it was good. I got this feeling she was waiting for me to ask her something but I didnt. I just said Thank you and goodbye. Before arriving home I stopped off at the beer store and bought my husband some beer. He has worked over 65 hrs this week. My man deserved a 6pack! He was a sweetheart and took all the those vitamins before our retrieval. Well on my way home and when I stopped at the store I noticed the exhaustion again. I came home fully intending to go to sleep. But first I had to go to the bathroom. Since I had some tests handy, I couldnt help myself. I took one. It was a very faint positive and I just did not believe it. After all this was 1 pm 4dp5dt. My transfer was at 2pm on Monday. So almost a full 4 days after.

I tried to sleep but I couldnt. I was debating driving to my home town which is 45 minute drive for my nephews birthday party. I would be going alone as my children bailed on me. I thought I can see my mom as I havent seen her in 3 weeks. I can take some flowers to my dads grave as I havent gone there since we buried him. So I decided to do it. I loaded myself and my V8 up and headed to that certain Walmart to get my dad's flowers and some more of those addiction sticks lol. I got my items and went to the self checkout. I need to mention that I semi-retired to focus on my family. Another side note:

You see not only did I lose my dad on Feb 14 this year, but I also lost my grandfather on Feb 8. I was the only one with him when he took his last breath because he went very fast and my mom was in Lubbock with my gravely ill dad. Before my grandpa died he had been in a nursing home for 2 months. One day I hope I can forgive myself for not visiting him sooner. My mom went every day when my dad was in the hospital here. But when my dad was moved to Lubbock, she was unable to visit her father. She asked me in tears to please visit my grandpa. I loved him very much, I do not know why I did not go to see him sooner. When I saw him, Oh my Lord. He was so skinny, he was so sad. Such a strong tall man had weathered away very quickly. You see I was working everyday all day long. And at night , I went to see my father. I just never went on to the nursing home. My mom would have cared for my grandpa at home had my dad not been so sick and in the hospital at the same time. It was just one of those things......

Back to my story and I am sorry I keep drifting away. About my semi-retirement. After all that happened, I decided that it was all foolish. The money I made at work didnt even go towards my household. My husband takes good care of us and my Ex pays his child support for my children. So from now on, if I dont have to, I will never take so much time away from my family again. About the child support, I have been getting it nonstop for 10 years with no modifications because I havent needed the money. But I decided to have it modified because my kids are older and cost ALOT, my ex has been making a small fortune, and I am now spending more time at home. So because of that, my child support checks are being held temporarily. That takes me back to my Walmart trip. I had worked a few hours so I had a little extra money in my personal debit card. NOT MUCH lol. I purchased my flowers first with my debit card and asked for cash back. I debated about $20 or $40. I decided on $40. I then purchased my addiction sticks with my HSA card as it is an "allowable expense". I started to walk out when I remembered I forgot to retrieve my $40!!!!! I ran back in and I saw that man with the two little girls behind me in line put it in his pocket. I confronted him but he said he didnt see anything. I went to the manager and after looking at the camera, they confirmed the man behind me took the money. I thanked the manager for his help. I walked out in tears. I almost just went home to cry myself in pity. I know it was my fault that I left that money there. But I would have never taken that money from anyone. I then decided I would not let this get me down! I walked back in, got my last $20 so I could give it to my nephew as a bday gift, and I left. I cried a little bit more but then I was over it. You see even without those $40, I am very fortunate and will continue to be blessed. Because I always try and do the right thing. So he can have it, he obviously needs it more than me.

I drove to my hometown. I saw my momma. I went to eat at the party. I saw beautiful sister and her beautiful kids. I visited with my handsome brother and his family. I visited with one of my favorite sister in laws and my neices. I went to my moms house and I decided to use up an addiction stick. It was darker that the one from 1pm!!! I then went to talk to my dad. I had alot to to tell him. I wrote "grandpa again" on the hpt and then I buried it in the sand. I had my last good cry for the day and then I drove home. When I got home, I showered and felt great. My son gave me my shot and went back to hang out with his little neighbor friend.

I then decided to take one of those digital tests. You know which ones lol. Well THANK YOU LORD JESUS! IT SAID "PREGNANT"!!!!

Thank you God for faith, health, love, and miracles. ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77332-4dp5dt-what-long-day.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77331-evening-3dp5dt.html Sat, 16 Jun 2012 14:35:37 GMT Ahh Where do I start? I am going to start with a letter I recieved this afternoon (Thursday 3dp5dt). It is a letter from the Embryologist at my RE's office. The letter is to inform my husband and I of the disposition of the remaining embryos from our recent IVF case. It states that if requested, The "Name of my clinic" currently cryopreserves all embryos remaining after transfer which meet strict pre-established criteria for cryopreservation. It also states that "Less than 40% of the IVF cases that we perform have embryos that meet these criteria and are cryopreserved following transfer". Then It gave the final results of my recent IVF case: Three [3] Embryos Frozen......Thank you Lord for our embryos. I realize how blessed we are and I will never forget that. We have decided that we will keep our embryos for a while unless we need them. If and when we decide we no longer wish to transfer, We will donate......

I had purchased a 3 pack of "answer" hpt's to test out my trigger. I took one Sunday (the night before transfer) and it was very very faint positive. I took another the day after transfer (Tuesday 1dp5dt) and it may have had a hint of a positive but mostly it was negative. I took the last one this evening (Thursday 3dp5dt) and it was completely negative.

TO TEST OR NOT TO TEST? WHEN TO TEST?
This day I prayed quite a bit. I talked to my little ones all day. I was a little worried because I was not feeling the mild cramps. I finally decided to leave the house. I drove to a Walmart I never go to. It is farther but I drove there because they usually have the 3 pks of FRER and with the $2 off coupon, they end up costing $6.98 for 3. I also needed more V8 and gaterade. I was not in the store long before I was overcome with complete exhaustion. And I guess it showed because I had an older gentleman who even asked me if I was very sleepy lol. So I promptly paid at the self checkout and went home to take a nap.

According to the NY Fertility Center on 3dp5dt this is what should be happening: The blastocystsattaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation......My question is-If one of my embryos was already hatching at transfer, would it implant sooner? And is it possible for the embryos to implant at different times? I guess I will have to ask Dr Google lol.

After I woke from my nap, I decided to take a test only because of the exhaustion I had felt. It was negative as I expected it to be at 3dp5dt.

I continue my faith in God and in everything that comes my way.

I have figured out why I find a certain kind of peace in writing this blog. It is a place for me to jot down my feelings, dreams, worries, and a place to look back at everything I do not want to ever forget. I find security that I can write at my own pace. I like that I really dont get much back talk, good or bad lol. ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77331-evening-3dp5dt.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77326-3dp5dt.html Thu, 14 Jun 2012 17:11:15 GMT According to the NY Fertility Center, today this should be happening: The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation Ok so today I am not feeling the mild cramps I had been feeling. So naturally I start to worry a little bit. BUT I shall stop myself! I have... According to the NY Fertility Center, today this should be happening:
The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation

Ok so today I am not feeling the mild cramps I had been feeling. So naturally I start to worry a little bit. BUT I shall stop myself!

I have chosen to continue my relaxation for just 1 more day lol. I figure it cant hurt.

I am done with my cabergoline, zpack, and my medrol pk(prednisone). I am to continue my estrodial and PIO until my beta. I am also taking my OB Complete One, 4mg folic acid, VitD3 and Magnesium Citrate.

And of course my 5 brazil nuts. I have 3 drinks at all time and I drink 1 at a time: V8, Gaterade, and a Water. This is all for that OHSS Im hoping to get lol.

I feel so blessed. I just feel so happy! Thank you God!! ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77326-3dp5dt.html http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77325-2dp5dt.html Wed, 13 Jun 2012 13:46:02 GMT Mild menstual Cramps! On and off. They started Tuesday evening. I had more when I woke up this morning. I hear this could be a good thing. FEARS LEAVE ME PLEASE. Since I have a lot of time on my hands, I spend much of that time searching blogger land. Yesterday I was reading one that made me... Mild menstual Cramps! On and off. They started Tuesday evening. I had more when I woke up this morning. I hear this could be a good thing. FEARS LEAVE ME PLEASE.

Since I have a lot of time on my hands, I spend much of that time searching blogger land. Yesterday I was reading one that made me feel all fuzzy inside. You see with my previous bfn's, miscarriages, and ectopic's, I have learned to become emotionally unattached. But I have learned something from this blogger.

I learned that its ok to love these embies. Its good to talk to them. For me it will not hurt any more because I chose to love them.

So friends I am pregnant until proven otherwise and I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE THEM!! AND I AM HAPPY!

Thank you all for reading. Thank you God for life! ]]> Mrsbeck http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/blogs/mrsbeck/77325-2dp5dt.html