Children

I am not sure what to do. Life is not getting an easier. Life is getting harder. More complicated. I am so confused and tired and now angry. I feel alone. I have so much family around me which is such a blessing....but when it comes to certain hardships....like my marriage....I cannot talk to anyone. I feel like its too personal for everyone. I do not want anyone in the family to pass judgment or get involved. There is a certain separation that family cannot maintain because they are emotionally ...

I feel anxious and like I am out of control and a bit lost. I am so excited for the holdiays...and stunned Christmas is here. Its our first year back with the family and the kids are at a great age that its alot of fun.

But even with this excitement....the rest of our world seems out of control. We have invested everything from our 401K and savings into opening the new business. I feel confident that we made the right decision and am ready to get opened and everything going. ...

Its been so crazy that blogging has been tough but time to get caught up.

I have found several women through the internet who has had this tumor. Most found it after a pregnancy and not during it. Two had it during their pregnancy were misdiagnosed with fibroids and it caused more problem for them than it should have.

As for me....I have done several US's and an MRI. So far the tumor seems to be confined to the rightt abdominal muscle. Its crossed over the umbilical ...

Things are looking up and better. DH has been out of town and will be gone until Late saturday...then off to China on Tuesday for 2 weeks. This will be his last trip until after January. I am looking forward to that because his traveling has been really hard the last few months.

I talked to DR. B and he feels that right now my situation is more surgical than "cancer" related. The tumor is more external on the abdominal wall meaning so far he does not feel there is more ...

I found some sites on the internet about desmoids but still pretty vague. I have had some people from the desmoid support boards respond to me by email. A few of the women were told they had fibroids and were misdiagnosed. Thats what my OB thought originally. ALmost every one of them found out they had more than one during surgery or that it was wrapped around their intestines and bowel and those had to be partially removed. THey all said I need to talk to an oncologist because removal is followed ...

I dont know if researching the information on the net is more good than bad. Its hard to filter through all the info and know what to take in and what to put aside. I found some websites with actual patient postings with the same tumor and its not as easy as I was thinking according to them. For alot of them the tumor did start wrapping around intestines and organs which caused huge issues. THey said the surgery is horrible painful and its almost 2 weeks in the hospital for recovery. All of ...

WHy do questions that seem inportant appear on weekends when no one is around to answer??? I am such a dork.

THe desmoid tumor is so rare in the abdomen is hard to find alot of detail on. My ob is an amazing OB and will give me the best care for pregnancy. But he is clueless on the tumor itself.....but that is why I have the surgeon. I have had some other pains that I have mentioned to my previous OB that I now wonder might be more significant that I thought.....and I dont think ...

Good news/bad news...more good though. Here is what I know...I am still learning about it and have appoitment set up to go into more detail.

Good news is....its not malignant. Its a desmoid tumor..different from a dermoid tumor. This particular desmoid is called "aggressive fibromatosis". It is in the stomach muscle "rectus abdominus". It only happens in the abdomen in 2% of cases so its very rare. Its not malignant because it will not travel to other areas of ...

I had my biopsy this morning. It was not bad. They gave me a local injection and took 5 samples from the mass. He put a stat order on it and said maybe tomarrow...but Thursday would be the day that they would know for sure what it is. It has grown again in the last week. THe radiologist referred to it as a possible tumor verses an endimetrioma. Not real comforting. I cant get over how fast it is growing. Everytime I go in it has a measurable difference.

This waiting is horrible. ...

Well....I got a call from the surgeons nurse because he is in surgery and everything is up in the air again. THe surgeon called the peri verses the ob to discuss everything. When I left he said surgery.....its growing to fast....the baby is the first concern lets just get it out and then determine what it is. Also because it will be an added issue during delivery.

NOW....he talked to the peri....by the way a peri in the same office but not one that I personally saw. The peri is against ...