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marsalilass

I'm a big loser!

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by , 09-13-2007 at 02:48 PM (155 Views)
Seriously, I had a great fertilization report today, but I'm down about it! What is WRONG with me? I'm so freakin' fatalistic about everything now. It would have helped if the nurse who called didn't sound as if I had killed her puppy or something. One should sound a little more upbeat when calling a patient with their fertilization report right?! She sounded hopless, like she didn't think my little embies had any chance in h*ll to make it. That's not what she said, it's just how she said it. Especially following it up with "we'll check them tomorrow morning because of your history of poor quality embryos to make sure they're growing" . . . WTF? My "history" of poor quality . . . . she just made me feel like poo. She could have worded that a big different couldn't she?

Now I'm agonizing again. I keep trying to tell myself that, just because I had poor quality last time, does not mean these 11 embies will be poor quality. These are fresh new embies! They have just as much chance as anyone else embies right? GHA! I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight and I'm certainly not going to be able to concentrate on anything except what the call will entail tomorrow . . . .

I envision hearing "I'm sorry, they're dividing abnormally, you should prepare for a 3 day transfer"
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  1. 's Avatar
    Of course fresh embies have a fresh chance, but you're so used to bad news it's completely normal to feel like you're always going to get it. My therapist calls this "Survival" and tells me it's okay. I pay her the big bucks so I guess listening is a good idea

    Here's a little chant for you: Here we grow, embies, here we grow *clap, clap*

    I've got you and your fighters in my thoughts...
  2. marsalilass's Avatar
    Thanks, I needed to hear that. Ooooo- high school cheerleading flashbacks!
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