UNREAL!!!!!!! Well today I got C's response for court on Tuesday. Of course he is 2 days late with it. I am so angry. To him this is all a game, about getting child support decreased and control. To me this is very serious and about the boys safety. He is not safe to be alone with them. I pray that the judge will see that again becing we have a new judge each time we go. All I can do is pray and keep trying to throw in as many road blocks as I can for now to keep the visits supervised. ...

I am so grateful this week is over. Work was just icky this week. I wish people at work would just do their jobs and quit reaking havic. People can be so ugly inside. I am so looking forward to having a 3 day weekend and spending it at home with the children.

Though I do have to get the final preparations ready for going to court on Tuesday. So far as of this afternon at the courthouse "C" had not submitted any response paperwork. I wonder if he'll show at court....

Today I was stressed because I had to go to the dentist and get 2 fillings after work. I so don't like needles. But I did survive.

Elijah has been struggling the last week at bed and nap time to settle down to go to sleep. There is just so much he needs here at home for his daily life to help stabilize him. But unfortunately I have to wait until I have the money.

I am still exhausted. But I of course keep going because that's all I can do. So on that note,...

Today was my first weigh in day since I started ww and exercising on 6/16/05 and I lost 6lbs.

I did make some bad choices not taking snacks with me today and then eating at a buffet. I learned a valuable lesson that I can't do that for quite a while. I can do this. I will lose this weigh by next summer.

I feel so sleep deprived. Joseph just won't sleep through the night and cut up sleep just doesn't feel like I've gotton any sleep at all. ...

that I need to get off my chest. This is long over due and I have to get it out or I am going to go nuts. I guess I will update for each month so I will remember later down the road.

January
I was a mess. I was trying so hard to get Elijah's therapies all set up for him. I felt like someones pesonal ginue pig that they were playing games with.
It was a very long/emotional month for me because it would have been my dd and ds 18th birthday. That was so hard. I...

Well life can sure take a toll at times. It has been a rapid roller coaster ride that's for sure. Now with the holiday's coming, Elijah's testing and the first holidays after mom and Michael being gone it has been hard. Can't forget working full time, being a single mom to 4 beautiful children. There is never anytime for me. So today I took the day off and took the little ones to daycare and I laid around and slept today. I feel a tiny better but I can tell I despritely need a break. But...

I am so happy. Tonight was the first night that there were no tears, tantrums, resistences or Elijah being scared when it was to for his bath. He stayed calm and let me put his ear plugs in and then I put him in the tub and he had a great time splashing. Right when I took him out he removed them and I opened his case and he put them in. DD went in the bathroom after we left to take them out of the case so they could dry. I just pray that all bath times get easier like tonights now.

back to work. I have so enjoyed being at home with the children for the last 4 days over the holiday weekend. I so hate that it has to end. That money tree just won't grow in the back yard though. I cherish the time with the children but it never seems to be long enough. I so know how quickly time goes. I look at Anthony and it seem like I blinked and now he is 13 1/2yr and he is 5' 6". He is still my baby. I just wish I could be a sahm so much. I pray that day will come in the future....

Today was the first time since Elijah had his tubes put in that bath time wasn't so tramatic for him. He did resist me putting his ear plugs in but he didn't have a melt down and once I put them in he calmed down quickly and he actually left the plugs alone and played like he normally used to in the tub. It was so nice to see him smiling during bathtime again. And after his bath he took out his plugs and I opened the case and he put them in. I hope this is a sign that it will just keep getting...

6:26am and Joseph of course woke up early around 5:50am to nurse and stay awake on a day I didn't have to go to work and I could have actually slept in a while, so I thought. hee...hee... And of course once I checked my greens I started last night I realized some more things I could do while the other 3 are asleep. I have to make 4 dozen eggs to make deviled eggs. Who says not cooking at home is easier? When you have dinner with a family that has a minimum of 30 people for intermediate family...