Today is a rainy dreary day. Makes my allergies kick in as I am rather allergic to mold. So I am stuffy and tired on top of my regular tiredness.

I was just roaming around facebook and I came across a pg/infant loss awareness group. I looked at some of the pictures of the babies. I was balling in seconds.

DH just came home. One of his co-workers has been having stomach issues all summer. He has been off for a week or so and his Dr found that he has a mass in his abdomen....

I am still looking forward to celebrating my boys birthdays' tomorrow. They won't even know what is going on, but it will be fun anyway. They have already received their first presents from a friend of mine. They enjoyed the tissue paper as much as the present of course!

Tomorrow we head to my sister's in Stratford. My mom and a couple of her friends are visiting/seeing a couple of plays, so I figured we'd go there. If it was just my mom, I'd have probably asked them to come here....

Where have my babies gone? My babies who loved to fall asleep in my arms are long gone. Now I have little boys who are walking a little bit farther every day. They are not cuddly boys. If they get on the couch they want to jump on it. It is getting to the point that it is hard for me to relax for a few minutes on the couch! Someone wants up and then the other one does. They have started walking towards me with open arms and I get a bit of a cuddle then. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about...

I'm tired and I should probably just go to bed, but here I am!

Last week I got to have a massage with my long time massage therapist - M. This is the first time I have seen her in well over a year. It was wonderful to catch up with her and of course to have a lovely massage! She has always been so supportive and caring. She actually has a clue about understanding IF issues! M is my age too, so I think that helps. She has been in a relationship for a while now, but she said that she...

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They were at the ILs for the afternoon and were naturally very excited when DH and I got back to pick them up. Miles had been jumping on the couch a bit, which is their new thing. Dh put him down on the floor next to where I was sitting. After a minute he turned and walked to the couch! I was so impressed. They are both doing so well.

Wow! My tiny baby has come a long way. Jonathan has been practicing standing. Yesterday I offered him a cracker and he grabbed it with the hand that he was using to steady himself. I was amazed when he just stood there for about 10-15 seconds all on his own. Tonight he took 3 or 4 steps on his own from his foam chair to the sofa! OMGoodness. He has been on his feet for at least a month -maybe two-less than Miles, but Miles has yet to try to walk unassisted. Maybe because he hasn't practiced...

The length is the same and all that, but the rest of my 'symptoms' during my cycle are strange. I swear I have pms like symptoms before I ovulate and now often feel great when AF is about to start.

Also I used to have fairly distinct signs that I was about to or just had O'd. Those signs have almost disappeared. I guess that is good in a way. I am less likely to be reminded of TTC feelings. My heart races just thinking about it.

I doubt we will ever be TTC again. DH is...

The boys no longer fall asleep with their bottles at all. For their naps and betime we put them in their cribs, say good night and that is it. At night I put the nightlight on. M cries for 30 seconds to a couple of minutes and then falls asleep. J cries for a minute or two and then plays a bit. After M falls asleep J cries for a minute and then falls asleep.

This has made a huge difference in my life. More energy and time to focus on keeping them out of the kitchen garbage can!...

I didn't really plan on doing this and certainly not this young, but Miles has forced us into it. This little guy has become resistant to all other sleep aides. It started with rejecting his pacifier once we only used it for putting him to sleep at about 5 months. Then he became resistant to walking or being rocked. He doesn't mind the lullabies, but they don't work on their own. We have even tried him in our bed once recently. That just became play time. So over the last 2-3 weeks when...