Liberty

i need to grocery shop & it's pouring out.

our trip was uber relaxing, just getting back into the swing of things.



(this was taken in the great smoky mountain national park.)

ok, not really.

tomorrow we are leaving for asheville north carolina. we're driving (or, HE is driving) the 8 1/2 hour trip. we were planning to go to new york, then niagara falls. but waited too long to make reservations. the kids are going with superdad to the lake for the 4 days.

i have no idea what we will do there. probably sit around the hotel room & stare all googly eyed at one another.

it's been almost a year since we started dating. i don't ...

for the last, oh let's say foooour months i've been in a funk. i just haven't felt so good about myself. when i worked in real estate i dressed up, i wore heels & got my eyebrows done. since the office closed in october, i've been doing the mom thing mostly. carting kids, making snacks. going to school. wearing ponytails.

so, my loving d thought he'd be sweet to me & give me the money to get a much, much needed perm. it was his mother's day gift to me, along with a carefully ...

...or on my feet.

hi, my name is jaimie & i am 2010 census worker.

i am tired.

i've spent the last 2 months knocking on doors. LOTS of doors. as of today i hit my 4000 mark. & some of those doors have been friendly.

while some have not.

i am sorry that your dog got out. i am sorry that the doorbell woke the baby. no, i am not from acorn. no, i am not selling anything. no, i am not aware of anything related to your ...

either somebody upgraded me, or there is a a glitch in the system. either way, i give thanks.

right now i am sitting down. elliot is practicing his juggling act. and i can breath, if just for a moment. i'd like to post some deep poetic, moving blog in honor of my return...

but i got nothing.

we ran out of napkins (i grabbed generic tp, instead of intended paper towels on my last trip to dg) & i freaked out for a minute. 3 greasy fingered kids looking ...

I promise. I have not.

I posted about Elliot's dx & I didn't get a lot of responses...I AM just feeling overwhelmed. Trying to find some balance. Balance between working full time (and looking for another part time job), family, friends, Elliot's issues, dating, finding myself, dealing with my past, looking to the future & getting those **** groceries carried in.

Which I guess is what we all do...try to find that balance.

For some reason I ...

Shaking my fist at God & screaming....

DIDN'T YOU THINK IT WAS HARD ENOUGH ALREADY?!?!

So many words I had never heard before. Long ones.

Initial diagnosis: PDD

More to come. I have been braced.

MRI, DNA probe, subtelomere fish, and various evaluations and therapies ordered.

Thank God Sara was with me or I'd have fallen on the floor.

Yes, I do believe I shook my fist at God & thanked ...

Boy likes me.

Boy thinks I am cute.

Boy called me (3 times).

Boy doesn’t date girls with kids.



It’s OK. Remember this summer when I had my Independence Day in Wal-Mart? Well, things changed in me that day in regards to how I deal with Adam. Something clicked.

Well, this morning something else clicked.

Finally.

I said before that it’s going to take one heck of a guy to date ...

My girlfriend took me out Saturday night.

Goal? To forget G ever happened.

Looked good.

Felt great.

Laughed a lot.

Drank too much.

Met a boy.

Danced with a boy.

Let said boy kiss me.

Broke my rule.

Didn't want the night to end.

Felt alive.

Mission accomplished.

Talked to boy.

Boy made me ...

I need some words to desribe me.

Thus far I have come up with...

Amusing. Resilient. Sarcastic. Sensitive. Moody. Determined. Silly. Unique. Sweet. Strong. Unstable. Confident. Hopeless. Stubborn. Uncomfortable.
Comical.