Starting to feel physically much better. Emotionally...I have a way to go.

We're now actively tNtc. I have not tried NOT to conceive in many years. I'm starting the Nuva Ring. That way there's not really any good chance of this happening again. It's going to be much less expensive than taking progesterone every month "just in case" when we're not even trying to get pg. Not sure yet how I feel about tNtc, but I guess it will sit better than repeated pg losses have. I don't...

low beta, very very low progesterone, bleeding

I know I've been MIA. I've got pneumonia. I'm also pregnant. Dh has been sent back out of town for work, so Monday through Friday I've been sick and in charge of getting everyone up and to school, all the housework (except for what Tara helps with) and then homework time, making dinner, bedtime, etc.


Now, this evening I'm spotting. I'm so scared. I can't do this again

maybe I'm truly not meant to have any more children. Maybe that psychic years ago was right...3...

The officer we talked to was very nice. He gave us his name, hours and number in case anything further happens, advised Tara to print any future correspondence, etc. I did tell him that dh would be away for work and I was very nervous. He is filing the complaint and making note of that.

Hopefully nothing happens. I will be at that school Monday, sticking around until someone talks to me/listens to me. They are trying to get her to come back there for classes, but she and I both feel...

Long story, hopefully I can shorten it. In 8th grade Tara was doing wonderfully in school. She was popular, outgoing, getting good grades. In 9th grade that all changed. She didn't want to go to school. It became a daily struggle to get her out the door. She started failing. She denied that anything was going on. Calls to the school went un-returned. Finally I got a call that she threatened 2 girls and was suspended. We found out that these 2 girls had been basically harassing Tara for the whole...

I cannot stop checking out men today!

Tyler and Jenna start soccer in about an hour. It's an instructional league, so they do not have practices, just show up Sundays and learn to play

I hope it goes over better than when Tara played. She hated it, LOL. She's never been one who likes to run so she'd just jog She ended up quitting after a few games

Not long ago, I blogged about Ellie...my former babysitter when I was a child, my dad's best friend's mom, my "other daughter's" grandma. Now her dh of nearly 60 years is in the hospital and they don't expect him to make it through the next couple days. Gregg and Ashley are making the long drive back up from Texas again.

They never even told him that his wife passed away. He has been in bad shape in a nursing home and they were afraid that he would go too after hearing the...

I'm starting to wonder if I should talk to my doctor. I know I have anxiety problems, now the depression is creeping in.

I did have depression for many years when Tara was small, so I know how it feels.

I'm just feeling so blah. When the kids are not home all I do is lie around. I have no ambition, no desire to do anything.

For 5 years almost, I had a purpose every single day. Now the kids are not here and I feel like I just have no purpose at all until...

I hate being here when the kids are in school. I'm sure somewhere down the road that will change and I will relish the peace, but I love to be around my children. When I picked them up yesterday (first day of K...I'll blog that whole thing later on)my heart felt whole again. Am I just melodramatic? If so...oh well...it's how I feel.
Today I at least didn't cry until I reached my empty van, but once I got home (alone) I paced, sat around...had to go to the mall for some retail therapy and...