Still Hoping...either "natural" or adoption

I despise the waiting game...am I or not? And to think that it's not one week but two!!! ahg. So really, the whole time it's trying to not only keep your hormones from taking over but also the fact that personally one's mind is going " yea, I think I am..really feel it this time, think I'm having some of the symptoms...please, I really want to be...we've been trying for a while now, statistically.. maybe yes?...Lord, your will but please....to: no I'm not, don't want to get my hopes up to high, if it happens if happens if not, we will try again, it's ok, I'll get through this one... don't know if I have the strength to do this again, well guess I'm not pg, don't even want to test...blablabla!!!!!" It's like get a grip of yourself J, stop being so dramatic on this roller coaster ride. Oh and again I'm suppost to relax and not stress...right, let's really figure out life and how much relaxing time there is vs stress time (oh I know take time for self care) I guess I'm just throwing a pity pary. Shouldn't, could be pregnant.... yet who knows. So here I go again, wait wait wait!!!! Can't stand it, and here I thought I was a somewhat patient person!!!