hopeing41

Everything is getting to me and it sux.

Life is moving downward then upward then back down again and I hate it.

I can't lighten up at all its like I cant breath even thinking about not worrying.

The recent death, recent issues in my own family, daily living at this point has become to much for me to deal with.

I can't ever get forward with things and financialy, emotionaly, and just breathing is so hard to deal with in a clear frame of mind. ...

Woke up to a call from mil this morning that Dh's cousin had died at work this morning. (got the wrong info at first) He fell 40ft at work he didnt have his safety harness on he leaves behind a wife and three children.

I can't wrap my mind around it, its all to much, between Dh and I this year alone we have lost 6 family members now.

I'll be back later to finish my blog..................

Welp its that time even though its been a few months over 10yrs now my class reunion is tonight & tomorrow.

This week is homecoming and since they reconize the class from 10yrs ago our class is (those who want) going to the game tonight and I think sitting together and then possibly having something on the field.

Tomorrow is suppose to a bbq somewhere for our class and our families to go to and socialize and reconnect.

I don't want to go to any of it ...

So the weekend is a blur, seriously.

I remember being so ready for the weekend on Friday only for it now be Monday and I don't feel as though I had a weekend at all.

S was sick yesterday with a fever and just aching all over I gave her some otc stuff for it and it had a fever reducer in it (the tylenol cold & flu stuff) that took care of it for the night but this morning she woke up with a fever of 101 and bad sore throat so I take a look and its bright red and swollen ...

So now I can do the candle fundraiser

I will list a link on the LA bb to see if anyone wants to buy some for Christmas gifts or something.

I hope we do well at it my family wants to donate half to Texas Equusearch and the other half we will use for the food and drinks at the searches.

Im excited that I can help some how.

Last night mom and I went around putting up missing persons posters of my cousin Cole.

Just looking at the picture runnint my finger over his face trying with all my might to get some sort of energy from it hopeing his spirit can reach out to us some how and let us know where he is.

I cried a lot, mom cried a lot, the people we asked were all so caring so nice.

A truck stop I use to work at in the next town put them in the front and back door window you ...

Sent off for the packet today to do a candle fundraiser.

We make 50% of what we sell and that will be sent to help with the search and rescue each time they have one which has been every weekend since we found out Cole was missing.

The funds will pay for food and beverages (water, gatorade, etc.) for the searchers and kadavor dogs brought in.

We also hope to send a donation of some sort to the Texas equusearch team they are so good at helping people.

Those two don't mix ever.

A person I was best friends with in high school lives here with her children.

I have to enforce policy to everyone even my own parents so of course a old high school chum will be treated the same.

B doesn't think so, thinks I should tell her everything about anything and that the rules dont pertain to her.

WRONG----be pissed at me if you want, flip me off as you go out the door if you want, and start rumors about how ...

I love fall, did I already say that

I decided to make sloppy joes for supper something I haven't had since a kid at home, as DH never really wanted them, however last night I asked if they sounded good and he said yes I think it was more for me knowing as I like them so well. My sloppy joes are made with manwhich sauce and we always have to have kraft sliced cheese (not in the wrapper kind) on them. Oh yeah and ruffle chips last nights supper was full of memories for me. ...

This has the most acurate picture of my cousin who is still missing.

http://www.texasequusearch.org/