I'm just a normal gal...

Feeling the need to ramble.

Today is Kindergarten registration day here. Thank goodness Steven misses the cut off date by a week or so because I'm not ready. He's been doing so many big boy things lately and I know I've not tried to push him. I pushed Lane. Lane walked early, potty trained early, did everything early because I pushed it... with Steven, I've let it go with the flow, because he was the "baby" and to me, he's still "the baby". How in the world is ...

I'm in a really good place in my life right now and it's amazing because nothing is as I expected and I'm not where I thought I would be when I reached this state of "bliss".

It's just... falling in place. And when it's not, I'm okay with it.

I have 3 full time day care kids. I haven't passed the Math praxis yet, I need to apply for PCE and pass the Praxis before a certain time, and it's looming close, the kitchen remodel isn't finished that we started a ...

Hannah died that I'm not crying, that I actually feel peaceful. Don't get me wrong, I miss her like crazy. I've wondered what 11 year old girls would like for Christmas and wondered how her and her brothers would get along. I've dreamed of mom/daughter mani/pedi days and those sorts of things but with a peace, not a "it's not fair" attitude even thought it's not fair that she's not here.
This year, my present was peace. Right now everyone is the household is asleep but me, I'm ...

It's been a wild ride the last few months with Lane's knee injury, work, continuing to "coach" football ( I don't coach but as the coach's wife-there is still a lot to do! lol), physical therapy, doctor's appointments, trying to pass exams needed for college... things have finally slowed down enough, just in time for the holiday rush.

Good news: Lane did NOT have an acl tear even though that's what the MRI showed. The doctor said that more than likely the "frames" ...

I guess almost a month after the injury I'm still in a bit of shock. We didn't let Lane play pee wee football when he was in 2nd grade because we felt he was just too little. 3rd grade came and he begged and DH was thinking of coaching so we let him and he LOVED it. He even started saying he was going to be a pro ball player. He eats, sleeps, drinks, LIVES football. And though he's only 9, this is the first thing he's actually been passionate about, it was all he talked about and he was even talking ...

I must remember:

"mama, would you do me a favorite?" ( favor)

"can I have some robin noondles?" (ramen noodles)

"tickle my ribbons!" ( ribs)




had to add some more:

loves "cinmun" ( cinnamon) toast
his brother is on "crunches" ( crutches) for a football injury.
(need to blog about that later)


we got a baby chick at ...

School starts back: August 19th. So SO not ready. This summer has flown by. I enjoy having Lane here. I'll miss him something fierce. I'm pleased with who he got as a teacher so far. I have heard that she doesn't go by frameworks like the school likes ( which can be bad) but she is also known for adjusting her teaching style to the individual student which Lane needs. We will see what this year holds for him.

Praxis: August 29th.. sort of ready. Ready and nervous. Need to get it over ...

Things are a changing and most of it is good.
Dh and I are good. I've learned that we do share the same vision we just tend to go about it in totally different ways. He wants it all now and then gets frustrated when something pops up in our path. I get frustrated because he speaks his frustration and it's aimed at me. I start feeling like a failure, like he's rushing me and instead of hearing what he's really saying, I let my self concious side take over and it feels like his words come ...

In the captivating book, it talks about how every little girl/woman dreams of some strong hero to come and sweep her off her feet, to romance her, to make all her dreams come true and that's what we look for in a mate. Men, on the other hand look for beauty. ( go figure! lol) but not just beauty on the outside, beauty from the inside. The kind that radiates, that can be seen in your words, your actions, your forgiveness.

He didn't call at all yesterday, well, I take that back. He ...

I miss talking to him, reaching over and touching him. His calls in the middle of the day, even if he talked to everyone but me.

I know he's hurt that I haven't responded to his "apologies" but I need the words, not chocolate ice cream in the freezer. I need to know that he is really trying. I know that he's hurt that I didn't sleep in our bed again last night. I can't help it. I don't know what else to do but leave to get him to see that he can't talk to me that way, that ...