May 10, 2005
by, 05-10-2005 at 07:58 PM (85 Views)
Wow...I couldn't believe the number of people reading this blog....it's amazing that there are so many people out there who care. Thank you to everyone, it really warms my heart.
Well today was a pretty good day, got through it with a good attitude (having the accupuncture staples in my ear is really helping my mood), and I think I am ready to face my RE tomorrow afternoon. I am not sure what to think, the follicles don't feel any bigger, but I have to say they are VERY sore and feel almost kind of irritated, kind of like a cut trying to heal....so I assume that some activity is better than no activity. I keep telling myself that no matter what the news....I made progress this round and I am in a place I have not been before.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that my RE gives me some enouraging news tomorrow and my e2 is at least stable. I am really hoping and prayng that I get just one egg this cycle, and I want this to happen so bad that I would be willing to make a deal to sell my soul (not really) just to get one step closer to the overall goal.
I guess wishing for something that isn't quite the goal is my way of giving into things "if we just make progress" and know that "there will be a next time". I of course, would love this to all turn out just perfectly, an ER, get the egg to maturity if needed, get it fertilized, then do a ET and get a BFP....but I know that we don't live in that perfect world where all works out just fine...and I know that it might take a long time to get there.....but I am up to the task.....as long as I have hope, I know I can continue to try and make this possible. This needs to be a possible option for the 1,000 of cancer patients out there who struggle with the possibility of never having a child in order to save their life.
So tomorrow I return to the RE and I will be looking for encouraging news. I was really surprised yesterday when I got the call and the RN said, "well (followed by silence that I was assured was bad news) your E2 is going up things are looking good", it was like a prayer had been answered, I definately didn't expect that at all and I think at that point I decided that even if things didn't work out this cycle, of course I would be disappointed, however, it would give me hope to have achieved a level I never achieved before.
Prayers and wishes for positive news are GREATLY REQUESTED AND NEEDED for tomorrow. Thank you to everyone who is reading this blog and for all of the support you have given me, this BB is a blessing in disguise for me, just knowing someone out there cares is worth a zillion words that never have to be spoken.