May 12, 2005
by, 05-12-2005 at 09:39 AM (88 Views)
Well.....surprisingly this morning I am feeling very positive. I do not have that crystal ball to see if tomorrow will be the day I get the 1 follie that will have that magical egg that will fertilize and soon be my baby on the way, but at least I am able to now look at things with some optimism and know that I am heading in the right direction no matter what happens tomorrow.
I would be lying if I said that I wasn't excited and happy I have a least 1 shot, I am and I have thought about how perfectly this would all play out. But the other side of me says that "it might not be the one" at least I know I am being realistic. I know that if I don't get the egg tomorrow I will be upset, but I will move on wait for AF and be ready to take another round of stims in a few weeks.
This process is so hard, it takes you from the top of the rollercoaster to the bottom and back up again in seconds. This journey is a hard one to walk sometimes, but I know that in the end it will be worth the ride.
When I was going through the Breast Cancer & Chemo, I remember thinking that I thought the Bi Polar disorder that ruined my life a few years before the Cancer was bad, but going through Cancer, I was fighting for my life, and now 4 years later, I am going through yet another challenging task, IF. Life is not always easy, and it isn't always fun, it has it's challenges and definately tries your patience, but I do believe that what does not kill us makes us stronger. Without the Bi Polar and Cancer, I am not sure I would have the strength to move onward with this journey. So here I am, and no matter what happens tomorrow, I will take my time to deal with it, but I will move on to the next step.