I haven't posted anything in my blog in almost a year! And reading it now is just like wow.... it was when I was so scared about my tumor, my surgery, etc.

And now here I am just posting about my mom because she has a growth on her kidney. I am scared for her! I am so worried about her. There is more to the story but I am too tired to write now. I really, really, really need my mom! She is so vibrant and agile and healthy! This was all picked up during an employee health screen...

I'm so scared by all that has happened. I need to just be 100% happy and thankful that this has turned out so well. But... the more I learn about this, the scarier it is.

And I feel like I should stop ttc. However, I don't really want to give up the dream. I don't know what else to do with myself. I've done this for 11 years and have dreamed about it for many before that. I don't know how to stop. I don't know that I want to stop. I just don't think with all that has...

Twas the night before surgery
and all through my house
I'm drinking Go-Lytely
It's disgusting as all get out

I'm shaking and shivering
and trembling with fear
that my giant cyst is benign
and I'll soon be back here (home that is).



Hmmm.... I think I need to stick to my day job.


OK--- so if anyone reads this.... send me +++ thoughts and prayers, etc etc. I'm having surgery at 7:30am tomorrow....

I had lap surgery today to remove a cyst from my lower abdomen and also an ovarian cyst. This was found during an ultrasound when I was going to do an other IUI recently. It led to 2 MRIs and now this. Upon opening me the doc, who is my RE, decided it was too complicated looking. He called a surgical oncologist to come take a look. They put me back together and decided I needed to have real surgery with a cut and the oncologist will be the one doing it. They told me 98% sure this is not cancerous....

"I'm tall, I'm skinny, I'm 4 and 1/2 and THAT's the truth!"


Just have to remember this one.....
DS announced this to the table at DH's birthday dinner last week. It was quite funny at the time! When we all laughed, ds came over to me and got all bashful and said... but it is the truth mama...!

Here is the program I am following:

Week one: Walk for 6 minutes, then jog at an easy pace for 1 minute. Repeat 3 times. Aim for three sessions with that same sequence for week one.
Week two: Walk for 5 minutes, then jog for 2 minutes. Repeat 3 times. Aim to do three sessions in week two.
Week three: Walk for 3 minutes, then jog for 4 minutes. Repeat 4 times. Aim for four sessions in week three.
Week four: Walk for 2 minutes, then jog for 5 minutes. Repeat 4 times....

Here's what I decided to do:

The CHEAP plan

Take DS out of daycare- they said yes- so ZERO daycare fee!!! Last summer they would not let me do this!

week 1- friend
week 2 and 3- take to my parents in WV and leave them there
week 4 babysitter- I secured one
week 5 and 6- dad will come here to keep them
week 7 and 8- the same sitter
week 9- I will take off and we'll go to the beach


So that...

week one- L
week 2 & 3- parents
week 4 (7/21) babysitter (475)
week 5 dad
week 6 dad (and science camp)??
week 7 babysitter
week 8 babysitter
week 9 beach


week one- L
week 2-5 (camp and daycare)
week 6 and 7 (parents)
8 babysitter?
9 beach



ugh!



plan a
week 1 L
2-3 parents
4 sitter
5-6 dad
7-8...

God help dh. He is so not cut out for what he does to make a living! I mean his summer thing! The rest of the year he is fine! We need this job but he just does NOT handle stress well. He is not meant to be the person in charge!
Things that are stressful are just 100X worse for him. It's highly irritating but I just don't think he can help it!

It started around 6:30am when I HEARD ds get up. I stuck my finger in my ear and let dh deal with him. I was under the impression that I would be sleeping in today! DH got up with DS and prepared whatever it was they had and then woke DD up. She was most unhappy to be woken up! Sooooo... here comes dh and 2 kids at 7:00 sharp with some cookies, black coffee (I don't drink black and dh after 17+ years )... OK... so ds gives me his card (a Spiderman birthday card...