I have not been on as much lately. I am trying to support those I cycled with. But right now things are hard. I have been a emotional reck lately. I am depressed, and very needy of DH. In the begining I thought things were going to be okay, I was actually excited to start our next cycle in March. The past couple days have been hard and seem to be getting harder. I am just in this rut, and can't seem to get out. I feel so defeated!!! I have tried to talk to dh about when enough is enough. I honestly...

BFN!!!
I have been putting this blog off. Was not ready before, I think I needed everything to settle before I let it all out. This IVF cycle was negative. It hit me like a ton of rocks. I was naive to think I would get pregnant, why not right. I was so wrong. I really thought I was. I am upset that I let myself believe that. We went in yesterday because the dr wanted to see us. He sat us down and said some freak thing happened to the freezer that my 3 frozen embryos were in. They thawed...

Christy the nurse from RE's office called at noon. Said my beta is 1.4, and Re was being pesimistic(sp?) and was leaning on the negative side. I was crushed, but still have hopes (crazy huh). My next beta is Monday. I have questions that I wonder about. My beta was on what 8dpt. Isn't that kinda early? I have not seen one that early. I usually see them like 12dpt-16dpt. I don't know! I am still trying to hang in there for my miracle!

This is complete torture!!! My Re should be calling by 2pm. I cannot wait!! I need to know either way. This is all that my mind is consumed of. I am at work and can not even concentrate, nor do I want to be here of all places when I find out. I am trying to think positive thoughts, but I am so nervous. I have not gave in and done a hpt. Want to yes, even right now I am tempted. But I am resisiting due to the fact that I will probably obsess on those results too. I want to be pregnant and have a...

I have now entered the dreaded 2ww.
On friday we transferd 3 embies. 1,2, and 6
We froze 3,4 and 5. YAY!!!
But 7 did not make it.
I have been on 2 ays bedrest and now back at home. Still feel kinda blah, those PIO shots are making my sides kill!

I'll update more later.

It's 5am, I have been up for a while. Can't sleep. Nervous, excited, worried, who knows. Transfer is at 11am. Then after that I am doing my bedrest at my parents, J has to work this weekend. I will update either Sat. or Sun.

I did nmy first IM PIO shot last night. Myself BTW. It was nerve recking, but once done was not bad at all. I am going to ask RE today if it's a bad idea if I do it myself. I am a little worried about OHSS. I am still bloated and sore. On the good side, my output...

RE called-

As of right now, out of our 7 embies!
3 are doing good. The other 4 are as not as good as they would hope.
Depending on how the next 24 hours goes,
Tommorow at 11 am I go in for ET, if the 4 are still laging behind. We will transfer the good 3. And then he will let the other ones go to see if they go to the blast stage. Then we may or may not have any to freeze. Depending if they make it to blast or not.
If the 4 catch up and start to look better....

Re called at 11:30am. He said he would call at Noon, so ofcourse I panicked.
He said that out of 23 eggs. 16 of them were mature. Out of the 16 that were mature, 10 of them fertilized. Out of the 10 that fertilized, 3 of them had chromosome issues.
So that leaves us with 7 normal ones.
I am not sure how I feel. At first positive, then I started to get a little discouraged. Dh and I have only 1 chance at a IVF cycle. WE could afford FET's but this is the only IVF cycle we can...

We retrieved 23 eggs today! Yay.
I will get my update on them tommorow at noon.
I can't wait!!!

I did it, I did it. Okay actually Dh did it. Last night I triggered at midnight. We got ready argued for a few minutes before of where to put it (**** what ivf does to you). Then I finally said "stick the **** thing in already". I was terrified, had my face covered with the pillow. LOL. He did it. I think he was scared even though he won't admit it. Suprisingly it didn't hurt, until this morning. Now my bum is a little sore. 24.5 hours left to retival!!!!