Tough decisions to make this year

[asindy]

Hi all,

Just looking for a little advice/support... or something. I guess I'm not quite sure at this point. We're still trying to get our heads on straight.

We just finished our latest IVF cycle which was negative. Up to this point we've had 3 failed IVF cycles, 2 IUI cycles, and probably 4-5 cycles involving some sort of stim. Clomid, low dose follistim, etc. None of the treatments have resulted in any sort of positive outcome, not even false positives. We have never had a positive test.

Our problem(s) are moderate PCOS and apparently pretty awful egg quality (this last time we retrieved 28 eggs, of which only 2 were viable). Our RE mentioned our best chance for a pregnancy at this point is donor eggs. I can't get past the thought of fathering a child that doesn't also genetically belong to my wife. I don't think she can either. To compound the issue, we are of different ethnicity. Maybe we'll warm up to it, I don't know. At this point we're both pretty uncomfortable with it.

Our RE has not outright told us she won't recommend more IVF cycles (perhaps following a full blood panel, MTHFR mutation test, etc...) and we've asked her pretty adamantly not to string us along to save our feelings. I think she feels that if we can get another huge number of eggs like we did last time, there is hope. A poor egg count would most likely end in failure again. She said she is going to bring our case up at the next practice board meeting and consult with their lab director and let us know. It sounds like if we tell her we want to go on, she'll agree to it. For now, she gave us a few months prescription to clomid and told us to relax and try with that (better than nothing). Cost isn't necessarily a huge issue which is one thing we can be thankful for. What are issues are my wife's health, our quality of life and happiness, and our emotional thresholds which are really wearing thin.

We are exhausted and incredibly sad. We don't want to quit, but we don't want to be set up for failure. We want to move on with our lives but we also want our own GD offspring. We want to consider adoption, but do we adopt from her home country or my home country?

I guess I'm just partly venting, but I really would appreciate any advice anybody could give.

Thanks

[greenm76]

Hi asindy! Sorry you have to be here. Has your wife tried any supplements to improve her egg quality?

There have been a few studies that show that inositol in particular can be very helpful for women with PCOS.

I would recommend that your wife take the following for at least 4 to 6 months before attempting further treatment. If it doesn't improve things then move on from there but here is a list of supplements which may help.

4 g of inositol (Buy the powder form about 800mg per quarter tsp and mix 1.25 tablespoons in water or juice)
3 mg melatonin
a prenatal vitamin with at least 1mg of folic acid.
1 tsp royal jelly
600 mg of CoQ10.

This should help tremendously. After about 4 months then you could go forward with treatment again. A lot of women on this board (including myself) have had great results on this regimen.

[asindy]

Thank You for the advice! I'll run it by her and mention it to our RE. She takes prenatals and baby aspirin when we are in treatment but that has been it.

[SC-Stargazerlily]

I'm sorry this is late. I don't really have any "been there done that" advice for you, but I wanted to offer you I'm so sorry you are faced with this decision. I can understand your hesitation with both the donor eggs and adoption. I will make a couple of observations about what you said.

1. You seem very uncomfortable at this point with the donor eggs.
2. You don't seem super comfortable with adoption either.
3. You really want bio children to both of you.
4. You said money isn't really an issue.

I think in light of the above observations, doing another round of IVF or even a couple more would be the best option for you. You may come to the point when you feel more comfortable with one of your other options, but for now, I think you aren't quite ready to give up on your wife's eggs. Also, this process can work, even with poor egg quality. Many people, even with great eggs, take several IVF cycles, more than 3, to achieve their dream. Good luck with your decision and I pray your dreams come true. Update us when you can.

[jenga12576]

i would highly suggest changing to a different clinic or RE- it may be the protocol, the lab etc... sometimes making changes is the best thing to do.

Jen

[SC-Stargazerlily]

i would highly suggest changing to a different clinic or RE- it may be the protocol, the lab etc... sometimes making changes is the best thing to do.

Jen

Excellent advice! Sometimes all you need is a new dr. to see things slightly differently.