2nd failed IVF... push for next month?

[boston_couple]

2nd failed IVF... push for next month?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So my wife and I had our 2nd failed IVF--first one was 4 months ago--1 embryo on a stimulated cycle. Got 5 beautiful frozen embies then, and on 8/8 transferred 2 embies in an FET. Got the negative blood test yesterday. It was 4 months in between partly because my wife ovulated during the 2nd cycle even though she was on lupron, then she had one cyst that would simply not shrink (it finally did).

Doc said she wants to move aggressively, but wants us to wait one cycle (4-5 more weeks), have a look at a small septum, redo bloodwork since over a year old--but my wife wants to push to try to do it during the very next cycle. I am unsure how much to push here, as I know my wife is very, very upset. I know very well much of my job is to make her feel better, but I don't want to do the wrong thing medically or look like a nutjob with the doctor. I did insist on a Monday appt. with the doc. I think my wife would stick those eggs in next week if she could, and I understand her feelings...

Help! How much do I push here? Does *anyone* do a 2nd cycle immediately following the first? Should I be more aggressive? Seek a 2nd opinion? Sorry if this is not coherent, didn't get much sleep last night.

[BC-DKNY]

hi there....welcome to the boards.

kudos to you for being such a supportive husband.

i don't have any personal experience with IVF but i do think that sometimes we need to follow the directives of our docs even when we'd don't agree.

the one thing that i think is universal among IF women is that we want to be pg yesterday. waiting brings on those feelings of desperation and helplessness.

sitting out a cycle is emotionally painful unless you're doing it voluntarily. it makes you feel as if your letting the (possible) month you could conceive slip through your fingers. does that make any sense?

i can only imagine that the reason the doc wants you to wait is health related. there might be concerns about the cyst, or about hyperstimulating the ovaries. there is a valid reason i'm sure. they would have no other reason to tell you to wait.

if you feel inclined, you could call the doctor yourself and ask some questions and get more info. you are the "other half" of the patient and i'm sure they'd have no issue talking to you. if they provided you with the reasons and information, you can then sit down and talk to your wife with valid reasons. for obvious reasons she'd be more receptive to it coming from you and will probably be more willing to accept it.

my best advice to you is to stay grounded and get as much info as possible. i completely understand your desire to want to support your wife, but the truth is, between the two of you, someone has to be rational and with your wife being so upset, that has to be you. someone needs to be the voice of reason.

i think it would probably be in your best interest if you'd take a stroll over to one of our IVF boards too. if you give a little back ground there's a good chance that the women there (having been through IVF) could shed some light on the waiting also.

wishing you and your wife all the best!!

[lakergirl95]

I do know women have done back-to-back ivf cycles. Not knowing all your medical background, I would defer to the RE as to why it is recommended that you wait. But I certainly would ask the questions!
You should post this question on the IVF & High Tech board...you'll get a ton of feedback over there!
Best of luck to you & your wife!!

[boston_couple]

Thanks you guys.

[BC-Maura]

Hi there: I just posted on your septum thread. As I said there, I would explore the septum removal angle before doing anything else. I think clearing any structutal uterine problems would help with any future IVF. And if she is ovulating on her own, you may end up not even needing IVF!

{{{HUGS}}} to you and your wife. This IF business is very stressful and emotionally taxing.

Best of luck+++++++++
Maura