Disappointing news

[irishscot74]

I got a BFN today. I hadn't realized that I really got my hopes up, I was really crushed. I was pretty weepy for the rest of the afternoon.

I'm doing a little better now, either that or I'm just too exhausted.

I've decided not to cycle next month for several reasons. I have an appt with my RE in a couple of weeks to hopefully get some answers to some concerns and questions.

Thanks to all for your support and best wishes.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

[BC-Maura]

Oh, irishscot, I'm SO sorry! {{{HUGS}}} Some cycles it hit me more than others (often with no good reason for it). This sounds like an especially hard one.

We are here to listen. Let us know how things are going and what the doctor says.

Best to you+++++++++
Maura

[BC-DKNY]

i'm so sorry hon. even when we *think* we're not getting our hopes up, we realize we did when we get that heartbreaking neg.

i just went back and read your additional info on your other thread. it's totally understandable how you would feel flustered and confused.

it's not impossible to get PCOS under control and i can't help but wonder if that's happened. it would explain the discrepancies between doctors a little.

i would love if you'd keep us updated and let us know how everything goes.

i know it doesn't seem it now, but once you start getting some answers and hopefully create a course of treatment or plan, things will fall into place. you'll feel more in control of the situation and more "pro-active" and reaching your goal.

i'm so sorry to hear about the additional stress of your moms condition. please know this is a wonderful place for support of all kinds. there are many different boards here and we often find connections on many of them.

best wishes.....

[lmohall]

I'm sorry too irishscot...we've all been there, one month or another...

[irishscot74]

I can't tell you how much all your support and esp the hugs mean to me.

It feels good to have connected with others going through a similar situation and the feelings behind it. I wish none of us had to deal with IF,but I'm so glad we can be there for eachother.

I agree that I think I will feel better when I talk to my RE and get some answers and tell him some of my stressors. I do feel out of control and to some degree I am. But I need to know there's a plan of action. I'm not even sure what is really behind my PCOS dx. Maybe it was wrong to begin with. I had some testing but after talking to others, I have realized that maybe I should have had more testing. Is it me or do we need to do our own research and plan a lot of our own health care these days?

Right now the plan with RE is three IUI's then move to IVF. To me that's not a plan that we can handle. We get two IVF's for life. We can have all the AI's we want. I want to exhaust all our options before we move onto the limited portion of our coverage. And I know there are a lot of options and several different kinds of medications.

I'm feeling better. AF came today, I feel like my horomones have evened out and I finally got a good night sleep last night.

I will definatly keep you all posted to see what happens.

Thanks again for all your support. Best to all.

[BC-Maura]

Hi there: You are right about us needing to do our own research. Doctors simply don't have the time (in many cases) to spend mulling over our histories and thinking of possible issues/solutions. Sometimes that means talking to a number of doctors. I did a bunch of tests with my OB, for example, but then felt I reached an impasse. She was about to put me on Clomid, which I couldn't justify, given that I was ovulating every month (confirmed by bbt). I mentioned my struggle to my PCP and she's the one who recommended my acupuncturist. At the same time, I was talking to a therapist about something connected to work and she's the one who encouraged me to see an RE who specializes in recurrent pg loss. My acup. agreed and off I went. As I said before, he's the one who figured out the problem. I feel that all of these doctors (including my OB who didn't figure out the issue, but did get me the tests I needed) and my acup. played a part in my ultimate success.

Long way of saying, keep pressing and you stand a better chance of getting to the bottom of this business!

Keep in touch and good luck+++++++
Maura

[BC-DKNY]

i completely agree with maura. i too did a lot of my own research and all but dx myself. i went in telling my doc what "I" wanted to do and really i just needed her to execute it for me.

some of it took some persuading, but the bottom line is that i was very persistant.

read and educate yourself as much as you can. knowledge is power!!

keep us posted!

P.S. i totally agree with you on exhausting your avenues before taking drastic steps. this too is in YOUR control. remember that!

[lmohall]

I just wanted to say (even though I haven't been successful with this whole pregnancy thing yet) that we, as women, intuitively know what is right and good for our bodies...but that all too often we don't listen to our selves, or we second guess what we're hearing. And a lot of the time, it's our doctors who are our worst enemies. Keep listening to what you're body is telling you and if someone isn't hearing you, keep going to someone else until you find someone who will. It's hard to trust anyone, let alone a doctor, who doesn't respect you... just my two cents for the evening.

[irishscot74]

Thank you all!

I have to sit down and write all my questions down for my appt with RE. My thoughts, my suggestions, etc.

My main challenge this month is going to be pulling infomation together without obsessing and letting it take over my mind like IF has been. I feel so lost when that happens. I have to keep remembering that IF is not all who I am. I'm still me and I still need laughter, fun, and relaxation.

I've also come to realize that I do need to start trusting myself more. My friends and other people close to me tell me I have good insight and good intuition, I should follow it, esp for myself.

You are all right about gathering my own info and keep pushing to connect with someone who will respect me. I couldn't agree more!

Thanks again to all for your support and I will definatly keep you posted.

[BC-Maura]

Good idea to write everything down. I found my mind would blank sitting in the doctor's office! Even parts of my ttc history I knew cold would flit out of my brain when I was trying to call it up to tell the doctor.

You sound much more positive than a few days ago -- I'm so glad!

Good luck and keep in touch++++++
Maura