Jersey Girl....

[LAMom]

Hi!

Just checking up on you.......hope you're doing ok.

Did you have your graduation already???? Congratulations again! It's amazing how you can juggle twin 5 yr olds and a masters program at the same time!

How are things going for you.....? Is it still the "never-ending cycle", this month?

I really had good vibes this month, for my own cycle, and was really surprised and let down to see old AF! I'm going in for a check up tomorrow though and I'm going to talk to the doc about prog. supplements.....just in case that's the problem.

Take Care.......!

LAMom

[JerseyGirl16]

Hi LAMom... I am so sorry that AF came again for you last month. At least it is on to a fresh new cycle, which psychologically is hopefully better than where I am. Today was cd 46 for me, in the never ending cycle. I am not sure at what point I should call my OB and ask for something to bring AF on. Then, if I do that, what are the chances I will ovuate next cycle. I am so bummed about it right now.

In terms of school, yes I did graduate and am finally done with the master's program. It has been a long 2 years, but I am glad I did it. Now I just have to pay for it... :-)

What CD are you now?

[LAMom]

Jersey~

I'm sorry about your never-ending cycle. I can imagine how frustrating it is for you right now. How often have you done ovulation induction, (besides for your twins?) Maybe it wouldn't hurt just to get something for AF and then see what happens 'on your own' next month for ovulation...... Y'know sometimes, there are just those 'fluke' cycles. Then, maybe if it looks like it's turning into a pattern......say, if ovulation hasn't happened by CD25 or something next month, THEN you and dh could talk about what lengths you're willing to go to....... you know, kind of have a "plan a, plan b" type of strategy. I do understand the way you're feeling right now though......and, I always did feel better as soon as I started taking the provera to bring on af.....it's like it put ME back in control of the situation.......pms and cramps and all! Is that crazy, or what? (I definitely have control issues! )

I'm on CD8 today. I'm starting to 'waver' on a few things, myself. You know I've been kind of obsessing about this for almost a year and I'm starting to wonder if maybe I should give in. Age is a big thing....I'm really starting to feel my age now.....maybe I'm crazy to think that I'm even "up for it" still! And, I really do stay so busy with my two d.d.'s (age 10 and age 8)....and that's a whole "other story" too. One of them would love to have a baby sibling (the younger one, that is!), but the older one, "not so much". So, it seems that I'm not going to "win" either way on that deal, either. I also have alot going on with work and having an aging parent, etc etc etc. I'm kind of "down" because it seems that I'm getting my 'ducks-in-a-row' to defend my decision to stop t.t.c. It seems that I've reached another one of those milestones in life........(I hate that! ) (In my mind, I'm still only 21 or 22....but, the reality is that I'm already 43!!! )

Well, I'm sorry to go on and on about myself.........but, my heart is really kind of "divided" on the subject. DH is wonderful, but he really doesn't feel that strongly one way or the other; mostly, he wants whatever makes ME happiest! But, I do think that the m/c in May was a scary thing for him....I think he worries more about my 'advanced age' than he lets on. Today, I have a check up with the dr. I was PLANNING to talk to him about progesterone support.....but, instead I'm wondering if I should start talking to him about me undergoing the tubal ligation surgery next year. (I guess I've got to get that "plan a, plan b" strategy going too). Maybe I'll talk to him about both.....giving it a good try for a few more months, and then being ready to undergo the surgery next year. Who knows....?????

So, anyway, I'm hoping that things will start happening for you.......so that you can have the satisfaction of "control" again too. And, again, congratulations on all of your hard work and achievement! I "always planned" to go back for my masters........but never quite got around to it (and many times, I wish I had!!!) Good for you!!!

Hugs,
LAMom

[JerseyGirl16]

LAMom,
I totally understand what you are going through, in terms of being on the fence about stopping ttc. I am going through a little of that myself recently. I had originally said that I would continue this if I could have a baby before my next bday (June 30). Then when it appears that there isn't any way that will happen, I think.."Well, what difference would a couple more months make." Sometimes I think I should just be so happy with what I have and be ready to move on to the next phase of my life.

It's interesting how this process can put make you waffle so much between something you can't imagine wanting more and wanting to stop. It's a tough call from where either of us are.

I definitely know that I will not go through any other form of ovulation induction at this point. My experiences with my pregnancy with the boys was painful enough to make me block that option.

I think you end up with doubts no matter what you do, if you are at all like me.

[LAMom]

Jersey,

Yeah, I see what you're saying. I really couldn't remember what the 'history' was with you regarding ovulation induction. (didn't you start out with higher multiples, though)? I'm sorry, I can definitely understand not wanting to go down that road again. Do you think that, if you take something to bring on AF, that you'll have trouble ovulating on your own? Or, do you just think that it could end up being another cycle like this month's...and that you'll be back in the same boat again, because you may not ovulate?

You're right too about that "fine line". I really DO still want "it" so much on some days and then, other days, I think that I should be so grateful for all we've been given......as the hymn goes, "how could I ask for more??".

One thing is for sure......and you summed it up nicely. I think I am like you....I'll have doubts no matter what! Maybe, though, if we decide to set that cut-off at my b'day next April....if it still hasn't happened by then, at least I can tell myself that we gave it every possible chance.....did the best that we could. Now, the day we have to go through the 'procedure' (tubal ligation or vasectomy), will still be pretty rough, I'm guessing......but, I'm not gonna worry about that until I HAVE to. (the procrastinator/protector in me!)

Thanks for the note.

Hope it gets better for you soon.....

LAMom

[JerseyGirl16]

Thanks LAMom - you too.

I saw my OB today and he gave me a script for something called Aygestin. He said if I take it for a week, it should bring on AF to start over. I am going to post to the general group and see if they know anything about it.