Thanks for all your support!

[LAMom]

Hi Ladies:

Well, today is another step closer to answers and resolution. I'm really ready to get on with it all now.......the more time that passes the more nervous I become.

One of my dds is receiving a huge academic award this morning.....so, I couldn't schedule the u/s during that! I'm so proud of her and I'm glad I'll have somewhere else to put my focus. Then, I'll go for the u/s this afternoon. I don't know what to expect after that......how quickly they will want to schedule the d&c, etc. etc.

Thank you all so much for the way you have really "stayed with me". You have all truly been a safety-net for me these past 2 weeks. DH and I really didn't tell many people at all......because of the unknowns and, also because of my age. There are some heartless souls (even in our own circles of acquaintances, even friends,) that think we are crazy to want another child at our "age" (43 and 39!) and there are others that would automatically assume that it was a "mistake" or "accident" and then probably go off on the tangent about how something was probably wrong with "it" anyway (because of my age!, partly). So, anyway, long story short.......it has been SO NICE to talk with all of you.....and know that you all understand.......and that you too understand the BLESSING that a baby really is!

Thank you for helping me through......



JAS......thank you for your kind words. I know that you know how it feels. I hope that you are able to get some answers on immune issues. It is very encouraging that your last prog. # was so high.....even with the beta! Have you had any tubal issues? My sister went through many early m/cs.....and then found out later that the (hydro) fluid from the tubes was hindering implantation....and it would end up looking like early m/c. She also ended up with two tubal pgcies before her tubes were removed and her IVF worked! (Here dd is now two years old!) I know that the tubal dx. may not pertain to you......but, sometimes it can be the problem behind the very early losses.
Hang in there, ok? I hope you can find some answers soon!

QV: What is your doc saying now? Do you do a beta? Or, are you just waiting on AF now? I know that you've had a rough waiting period too!

Jersey Girl.......Dina.....Maura: THANKS FOR KEEPING ME SANE!

Luv,
LAMom

[TNgurl]

Hey there!

I have been lurking behind the scenes and following your story. I hate that you or anyone has to go through this. I had a M/C last year. The betas seemed to go up only a few numbers at a time. The u/s also showed no fetal pole, etc. So, in time we too had to have a D&C. ((HUGS)) SO! I understand and I'm sorry. You wait so long to get pregnant, you wait on the betas, now, you are waiting again. It seems like a vicious cycle, doesn't it?
Keep us updated!!

[JAS]

Your so welcome. I so understand the ups and downs of all of this IF. It is so draining, and I have learned to just not expect anything to just keep myself sane. Sorry for all you have had to go through, and I hope that you get preggo real soon and have a healthy pregnancy this time. (that is if you want to ) You know, I have no tubal issues, but one of my close friends did, and ended up having one removed from an ectopic, and one tied and did IVF with IVIG, and was successful. My problem is that I have no blocking antibodies, and even though an embryo tries to implant, it cannot form a placenta because my body attacks it, and that is probably why I have these weird cycles happen every six months or so. The treatment I need for this would cost 15K, so right now I don't have that kind of money and may not before I am too old. Anyways, thanks for the help, I will keep you in my prayers.........keep us posted, we will be watching for a great update. Congrats on your daughter...........our kids are lifesavers when it comes to dealing with all this pain. I find I can't help but smile on some of my saddest days because they fill my heart with so much love and joy. HUGS, JAS

[BC-DKNY]

we're here for you honey

i think we've all had our share of ignorant and unkind comments from those that are close to us. i know i have....

congratulations on your dd's award. update us when you can!

[BC-QueenValerie]

Hello*!!! that is what makes this board so nice..alll the love and support that we can offer up.... {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
As for me I stopped my prometrium yesterday and started spotting lightly last night and a little heavier today. My RE called and said that it could be a few days after stopping the meds...so I am waiting on af then I will start femera again. Thank you for asking about me*!!!!

[JerseyGirl16]

LA Mom - I am so sorry you are going through this, but you sound incredibly healthy and adjusting more and more each day. Your strength is apparent. It is a really difficult situation and I am so glad you have support here. I think FT is sometimes like one big giant hug!!

Thinking of you!
Beth

[BC-Maura]

Hey LAMom, I've been thinking of you so much. I hope you got into the u/s today and the doctor will be able to let you know what's going on. It doesn't sound like a molar pg (I had one and my HcG shot up high very fast, which I learned is typical with molars), which is a good thing. If it's an early m/c, hopefully your body will adjust quickly and you can start the healing process. I'm just so sorry. {{{HUGS}}}

We are here for you ... whenever you want to talk.

All the best and check in soon++++++++++++
Maura
p.s. Congratulations to your award-winning dd!

[LAMom]

The dr. said we could do the procedure tomorrow (Thurs). but it is a really busy week for me with end-of-year school programs. So, I'll go in next Tuesday for one last b/w and ultrasound (to make sure that I haven't m/c'd naturally, I think) and then the d&c will be scheduled at that time.

The dr. did tell me, Maura, that he didn't think it would be classified as molar, because of my hcg numbers partly, and the way it looked too. He also showed dh and I the u/s pictures of "what remained" of the pregnancy. It was high in my uterus. I didn't really think to ask of the "age", if it could be known. Does anyone think that I should ask for any testing of the material, once removed? Esp. since I'm not going through multiple losses, I don't know if they even do any analysis on it, or if insurance pays for that, etc etc. Also, I don't know what could be gained from the information, except maybe just for my own "closure". I remained very strong and stoic through the entire appt. yesterday (that's just me....) but I've got to tell you, looking at those little pictures of "what remained" chokes you up....I guess because we can't help but wonder "what could've been".....

I'm actually feeling a little better, physically and emotionally.....I think I'm relieved to know that I'm not walking around with a time-bomb in my fallopian tubes, or elsewhere (ectopic). My mind was having trouble dismissing that idea, once it got in there.

As I was checking out at the dr.'s office yesterday, one of the clerks asked me for my due date! That threw me for a loop! I know that people make mistakes and I really didn't make her feel badly about it. She explained that the paper was not marked in such a way that it was obvious the pregnancy was over. So, I guess it's not really her fault....still, my dh and I were just dumbfounded at that.....Glad that I'm already kind of in a "good place" with my acceptance of it all. Good as one can be, I guess.

I recently found a website about misdiagnosedmiscarriage.......has anyone seen that site? Now THAT will really get to you........! Women post their stories, some of them about actual miscarriages and some about threatened miscarriages, that actually turned into successful pregnancies. It's really kind of scary how many times the "experts" say that the miscarriage is certain, and then how things turn around! Doesn't pertain to me.....but it sure did keep me awake at night for the past few nights, before my u/s yesterday anyway.

Thanks again for the "group hug"......I needed it.

LAMom

P.S.) btw, does ANYONE know the answer to this one. I've searched the net and haven't come up with anything.......dr. doesn't know either. How is it that my hcg/beta number continued to rise? I can't get my mind around that one! Does it take awhile after the m/c for the levels to decline.....wonder why?

[BC-Maura]

{{{HUGS}}}, LAMom...

I'm glad it's not a molar or an ectopic -- an early m/c is easier to recover from physically (no loss is easy to recover from emotionally).

About your HcG: HcG is produced by the corpus luteum until the placenta takes over at about 10 wks. Even with a pg that is not healthy, HcG can continue to be produced, although it doesn't rise at a rate that's appropriate. With an early m/c, the number should slow down, plateau and then go down to 0. If it doesn't, this could mean that the corpus luteum hasn't stopped producing HcG for some reason or, if there is placental tissue that is producing the HcG, there is placental tissue still remaining from the pg.

I'm not sure what your doctor saw on the u/s, but I'm glad you are being monitored so closely with bloodwork and an u/s. Maybe you won't need the D&C next week. But whether you do or you don't, I hope your doctor will continue to monitor to make sure that you HcG does get down to 0. With my two early m/cs, I didn't need a D&C because my m/c was "complete" and my HcG dropped to 0 on its own. With my molar, however, I got to 10 wks before it was diagnosed for sure and after the D&C, it took me a looooong time to get back to 0 (my OB was stunned at how long it took... I was an anomoly).

I hope that you heal from this soon in every way. Please check in and let us know how you're doing...

+++++++++++++++++++++
Maura

[LAMom]

Thanks for the info on the hcg, Maura. That was really bugging me. I'm SURE that my dr. knew all that but I guess he didn't understand what I was asking......

And, it does make sense too......that what is remaining is probably placental tissue.....so, maybe that is why the hcg number is still "up there". Isn't it strange, though, how very low my prog# has been, throughout it all.....and, yet the hcg has gone up? Maybe I am another anomoly! (wouldn't surprise me a bit.....I don't do anything the "normal" way!) But, then again maybe it was the corpus luteum still producing too......doesn't placental tissue "kick in" around 8 or 10 weeks? I don't think I was that far along.....

Maura, I'm so sorry for all you went through.... 2 early m/cs.....and, then, 10 weeks of waiting during the molar pregnancy. HOW DID YOU KEEP YOUR SANITY????

I will feel much better once I hear the b/w number next week, before the d&c (if I even still need one, that is), because right now (for my own peace of mind), I just need to hear of a falling beta number. Closure, I guess.

Thanks again for all of your wonderful info.....I will make sure that the number gets to 0..... Rationally, it seems that it would be 0 right after the d&c......how does it take even longer? The body is mysterious, isn't it?

One bright side to it all......dh and I both have realized how very much we are NOT ready to 'throw in the towel' on ttc #3......we are going to give it a concentrated effort for the next year! (I may be a bit nervous, though, after this experience!)

Have a good holiday, all of you. We're going on a short road-trip. Hopefully, it will be relaxing and UNEVENTFUL!!!!

Bless you all,
LAMom