A little bit of an update

[LAMom]

Hi ladies:

Thank you all SO MUCH for your kind words and posts of encouragement and support. You all are wonderful and really have helped me to feel better.

I felt much better for most of the afternoon and evening yesterday.....very little cramping at all and the bleeding almost entirely stopped last night. Then, this morning, it all came back full-force again. The pain was pretty intense for three hours this morning (about the same time as yesterday's....isn't that strange?) Only, today, I also had alot of pain in my back. Really kind of feels a little like labor, come to think of it?! And, the bleeding is back and very heavy again. This afternoon, the pain is gone and it's just the flow.

The dr. said that yesterday's hcg/beta is 108. I don't have anything to compare that to as I hadn't done any blood work previously. He said that the progesterone is very low (I think he said 3.2). So, it doesn't look like a reason to be hopeful.

I know that I'm probably clutching at straws here.

But........

Does anyone think that (because my cycles have always been wacky (and long), that I may have ovulated even later than I thought.......and that the hpts picked up as positive earlier than I thought.......and, that could explain the reason that the t/v ultrasound didn't show a sac or embryo.....maybe I'm only 4 weeks instead of 6-7? Am I crazy? I read that t/v ultrasounds usually don't show anything until 5.5 weeks.

When I asked the doc. he said that the low progesterone #, and the heavy bleeding and cramping, don't "look good" for the outcome, even if the dating is all wrong.

I am supposed to take it easy this weekend and do more blood work on Tuesday.

I really am sad and have given up (about 95%, I guess).....but, there's still that 5% of me that is wondering if I still have a reason to hope!?

What do you all think? Is that crazy?

Thanks for your help!

LAMom

[BC-DKNY]

aw honey...i so know that grasping feeling. i can't lie to you tho, it doesn't sound too promising. please forgive me for being painfully honest. i just don't want you to get your hopes too high.

have you ever had your progest tested before or had an endo biopsy done? that's what my problem turned out to be. i didn't have enough progest to support a pg, even if a conception occurred.

let us know how you're doing. {{{hugs}}}

[LAMom]

Thank you for your honesty. I feel kind of stupid that I wasn't able to just "connect the dots" from what my dr. said. I still didn't know if I'm supposed to be hopeful or just preparing for the inevitable. Sometimes, we really just need it "spelled out" for us, kwim?

Anyway, I'm feeling much better today.....physically. The bleeding and cramping have stopped entirely.......

I don't know that my prog has ever been checked before. I mean, I guess that it's in my records from my first two pgcies......so long ago......do you think it would be of any use to find out what that was? Or, maybe just to have it tested while t.t.c.?

Thanks for being painfully honest...... I needed that!

Do you think it would do any good to ask for blood work BEFORE Tuesday? Or will it shed any light if I do?

I appreciate your support!

LAMom

[BC-QueenValerie]

Hello*!!!!!! oh it sure sounds like you have been going through some painful spurts.... I am so sorry {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} I would have to agree (though I wish it was good news), but the outcome does sound very grim especially with a progesterone level that low.


Please remember to be kind to yourself and take it easy*!!!!!

Again I am so very sorry....

[BC-DKNY]

it's not that you weren't able to connect the dots, but it's human nature to hold onto any glimmer of hope (even when things are pointing in another direction) and to want to protect ourselves from the pain of loss and disappointment.

the thing that prompted me to ask about the progest was your low number. even if you were in the process of losing a pg when they took your blood, that number seems very low.

a progest deficit could definitely account for early pg loss. i had this problem myself.

as for you numbers from years ago....nah, it would be irrelevant at this point.

my doctor did an endo biopsy to dx me. she didn't feel bloodwork to dx a progest deficiency was good enough as progest fluctuates daily and you'd have to test every day for a week or so to determine if there's really a problem.

it's something you can discuss with your doc when you're feeling ready.

please keep us posted. {{{hugs}}}