Please, Is This Cycle Over Yet

sassymermaid · 08-10-2006, 05:11 AM

Morning Ladies. Just as the title said, is it over yet? I'm so beyond sick, I'd be happy with a negative at this point, just to clear my system out and feel better. I went from breakout city, frequent urinations to being tired all the time to no breakout, hardly urinating, totally exhausted with insomnia, major bloating, grumblings and abd. discomfort and the most incredible sense of smell (and aversion to everything in my path). I am miserable.

I had some really, really good middle eastern food two nights ago and I keep telling myself that is part of it. I've been so bloated, so needing to be gassy (a burp or something here or there feels just so darn good). My husband was pretty bloated and had diarrhea for two days - I was the opposite (thank you progesterone) and I'm wondering if it's just still in my system (compounded by side effects from the progesterone). I have felt so incredibly full for two days that I haven't eaten much at all. When I push on my upper abdomen, it hurts (and it just made me have a little, bitty burp). I'm naseous, but haven't gotten sick, exhausted, but can't sleep, I'm just a miserable wreck!

I thought the worst - maybe OHSS, but I've actually lost weight and it's been 19 days since the clomid so for it to be bad now doesn't make too much sense. I keep thinking it was the food + side effects + an emotional wreck = disaster.

It's weird - the estrogen was fine, but thinking back over the years, I've always felt pretty bad after ovulation. I always get panic-attacky @ this point in the cycle and now I'm wondering if it's been progesterone all these years. I thought that maybe I've been getting too much and thought about going in to get tested and paying the cash, but after reading the insert, the Crinone gel is absorbed directly into the uterus and affects the blood progesterone levels minimally. So, it might not be too indicitive of anything, ya know? My legs are achy and that's a sign of AF. My ovaries are also "humming" with bursts of little "ouches", so @ this point, if it's going to happen, I wish it would.

I'm so sorry to vent like this - I just had to get it out. It's eating me up. I sobbed for a few minutes last night and it relieved me of some of this pain for a few minutes. I'm not taking my Crinone Gel today - I'm going to skip a day. I worry about the ramifications of that, but if my level is high enough, it shouldn't hurt too much (and the gel's absorbtion rate is up to 50 hours, meaning it wouldn't matter anyway). I will take a dose tomorrow 11DPO, then again on 13DPO. I did do an HPT this am and it was negative. My temp is somewhat on the rise, but no fever (so can't blame this on the flu!)

I'm sorry - I had to get this out.

**BC-Maura** · 08-10-2006, 06:12 AM

Oh, boy, Sassy, I'm sorry you're feeling so funky! I hope you get a nice return on all of this! I hope the next few days fly by and you can find out how you did

. In the meantime, anything you can do to relax and minimize your stress level will help you feel better. If it's not too hot to walk, walking can be wonderful... or reading... or seeing a movie ... or sleeping!

Good luck and keep us posted, ok?
+++++++++++++++++++
Maura

wan2b3+ · 08-10-2006, 08:28 AM

I'm sorry you are feeling so yuck. You are still in the running despite your BFN, so it could be PG sxs.

Just reading it for the first time and not living through it, it really does sound like PG sxs.

**BC-DKNY** · 08-10-2006, 09:00 AM

SM....you poor thing. i can hear your frustration in your post.

you're right about the progest test. introducing progest any other way but through injection doesn't register in a blood test b/c it doesn't cross the blood lines.

your neg test this morning is meaningless. try and wait a few more days and re-test. i hope this is your cycle!

sassymermaid · 08-10-2006, 09:25 AM

Ladies - THANK YOU!!! My DH listens, but he is frustrated. He's in the medical field (firefighter/paramedic) and he gets upset that I'm upset and he can't help me. He's out tearing out 32 year old 6 ft high bushes around the perimeter of our property so he can install a bamboo privacy fence. I don't blame him for getting away from me.

I napped another 1 1/2 hours this am after I posted. I'm up, drank some pop (made me burp -that was good) and ate some dry cheerios. I still feel really bad, but not hopelessly bad (does that make sense?) I'm going to get in my pool and walk - just slowly walk around - get moving. LIke you said, Maura - walking helps sometimes and I'm soooo hot, the pool will feel good. I feel flushed (but I'm not) and I'm beyond tired (with tinges of nasuea), but the abd. pain is more dull now. My mom says it's indigestion + side effects + stress. She's probably right!

I didn't take the progesterone - that really, really worries me - I don't want to induce my period. I'm hoping that one day won't hurt - I'll take it tomorrow again after some of these side effects hopefully subside a little.

I tell myself if it ends up being a positive cycle, some of these horrible feelings may be more bearable (my DH said they better LOL), but if I'm not, I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm just going to clear myself of drugs and go the old fashioned route for a month so I can regroup.

Ladies - you have made me feel so much better. I can't thank you enough for dealing with my rant. This is a stressful scary process and I can't imagine doing it alone!

SMILES!

wan2b3+ · 08-10-2006, 09:30 AM

Sounds like your mood is picking up -so that's good!
I hope you are PG and that you feel better soon!

**BC-DKNY** · 08-10-2006, 09:50 AM

you're definitely not alone SM....men, as compasionate as they may be, don't really understand the full impact that TTC has on us. hang in there.......enjoy the pool

Cibele · 08-10-2006, 10:00 AM

Sassy my dear
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so down and. I have had cycles like that and I though I was going mad... the pressure sometimes gets to be too much, I know... Some days I have to let it out and cry otherwise I feel like exploding... DH gets so frustrated to see me crying...
I so hope all of this is for a good reason and will get your BFP even this cycle. I have already stressed so much this cycle that now I have just accepted that the fight is not over and I have to keep o going.
Try to relax.... I hope you feel better soon!
Smiles

**BC-Maura** · 08-10-2006, 10:40 AM

Hi Sassy: Good for you for getting moving.. I have a tendency to stagnate when I feel bad even though I know it will make me feel worse in the long run ... walking in the pool sounds like just the thing to take the edge off.

As for dh's, as Dina said, even the best don't always "get it" ... perhaps it's different wiring or just different ways of responding... whatever the reason, I am glad for FT!

I hope you feel better...let us know how you're doing!
+++++++++++++++++++
Maura

Cibele · 08-10-2006, 11:15 AM

If I were there I would go for a walk with you too Leslie... here in Kansas is so hot and I really did not want to be at work today!

positive vibes for you....

08-10-2006, 05:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
sassymermaid Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 785	Please, Is This Cycle Over Yet Morning Ladies. Just as the title said, is it over yet? I'm so beyond sick, I'd be happy with a negative at this point, just to clear my system out and feel better. I went from breakout city, frequent urinations to being tired all the time to no breakout, hardly urinating, totally exhausted with insomnia, major bloating, grumblings and abd. discomfort and the most incredible sense of smell (and aversion to everything in my path). I am miserable. I had some really, really good middle eastern food two nights ago and I keep telling myself that is part of it. I've been so bloated, so needing to be gassy (a burp or something here or there feels just so darn good). My husband was pretty bloated and had diarrhea for two days - I was the opposite (thank you progesterone) and I'm wondering if it's just still in my system (compounded by side effects from the progesterone). I have felt so incredibly full for two days that I haven't eaten much at all. When I push on my upper abdomen, it hurts (and it just made me have a little, bitty burp). I'm naseous, but haven't gotten sick, exhausted, but can't sleep, I'm just a miserable wreck! I thought the worst - maybe OHSS, but I've actually lost weight and it's been 19 days since the clomid so for it to be bad now doesn't make too much sense. I keep thinking it was the food + side effects + an emotional wreck = disaster. It's weird - the estrogen was fine, but thinking back over the years, I've always felt pretty bad after ovulation. I always get panic-attacky @ this point in the cycle and now I'm wondering if it's been progesterone all these years. I thought that maybe I've been getting too much and thought about going in to get tested and paying the cash, but after reading the insert, the Crinone gel is absorbed directly into the uterus and affects the blood progesterone levels minimally. So, it might not be too indicitive of anything, ya know? My legs are achy and that's a sign of AF. My ovaries are also "humming" with bursts of little "ouches", so @ this point, if it's going to happen, I wish it would. I'm so sorry to vent like this - I just had to get it out. It's eating me up. I sobbed for a few minutes last night and it relieved me of some of this pain for a few minutes. I'm not taking my Crinone Gel today - I'm going to skip a day. I worry about the ramifications of that, but if my level is high enough, it shouldn't hurt too much (and the gel's absorbtion rate is up to 50 hours, meaning it wouldn't matter anyway). I will take a dose tomorrow 11DPO, then again on 13DPO. I did do an HPT this am and it was negative. My temp is somewhat on the rise, but no fever (so can't blame this on the flu!) I'm sorry - I had to get this out. Last edited by sassymermaid; 08-10-2006 at 05:33 AM.

08-10-2006, 06:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
BC-Maura Board Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 12,945	Oh, boy, Sassy, I'm sorry you're feeling so funky! I hope you get a nice return on all of this! I hope the next few days fly by and you can find out how you did. In the meantime, anything you can do to relax and minimize your stress level will help you feel better. If it's not too hot to walk, walking can be wonderful... or reading... or seeing a movie ... or sleeping! Good luck and keep us posted, ok? +++++++++++++++++++ Maura

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08-10-2006, 08:28 AM	#3 (permalink)
wan2b3+ Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 2,109	I'm sorry you are feeling so yuck. You are still in the running despite your BFN, so it could be PG sxs. Just reading it for the first time and not living through it, it really does sound like PG sxs.

08-10-2006, 09:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
sassymermaid Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 785	Ladies - THANK YOU!!! My DH listens, but he is frustrated. He's in the medical field (firefighter/paramedic) and he gets upset that I'm upset and he can't help me. He's out tearing out 32 year old 6 ft high bushes around the perimeter of our property so he can install a bamboo privacy fence. I don't blame him for getting away from me. I napped another 1 1/2 hours this am after I posted. I'm up, drank some pop (made me burp -that was good) and ate some dry cheerios. I still feel really bad, but not hopelessly bad (does that make sense?) I'm going to get in my pool and walk - just slowly walk around - get moving. LIke you said, Maura - walking helps sometimes and I'm soooo hot, the pool will feel good. I feel flushed (but I'm not) and I'm beyond tired (with tinges of nasuea), but the abd. pain is more dull now. My mom says it's indigestion + side effects + stress. She's probably right! I didn't take the progesterone - that really, really worries me - I don't want to induce my period. I'm hoping that one day won't hurt - I'll take it tomorrow again after some of these side effects hopefully subside a little. I tell myself if it ends up being a positive cycle, some of these horrible feelings may be more bearable (my DH said they better LOL), but if I'm not, I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm just going to clear myself of drugs and go the old fashioned route for a month so I can regroup. Ladies - you have made me feel so much better. I can't thank you enough for dealing with my rant. This is a stressful scary process and I can't imagine doing it alone! SMILES!

08-10-2006, 09:30 AM	#6 (permalink)
wan2b3+ Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 2,109	Sounds like your mood is picking up -so that's good! I hope you are PG and that you feel better soon!

08-10-2006, 10:00 AM	#8 (permalink)
Cibele Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 426	Sassy my dear I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so down and. I have had cycles like that and I though I was going mad... the pressure sometimes gets to be too much, I know... Some days I have to let it out and cry otherwise I feel like exploding... DH gets so frustrated to see me crying... I so hope all of this is for a good reason and will get your BFP even this cycle. I have already stressed so much this cycle that now I have just accepted that the fight is not over and I have to keep o going. Try to relax.... I hope you feel better soon! Smiles

08-10-2006, 10:40 AM	#9 (permalink)
BC-Maura Board Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 12,945	Hi Sassy: Good for you for getting moving.. I have a tendency to stagnate when I feel bad even though I know it will make me feel worse in the long run ... walking in the pool sounds like just the thing to take the edge off. As for dh's, as Dina said, even the best don't always "get it" ... perhaps it's different wiring or just different ways of responding... whatever the reason, I am glad for FT! I hope you feel better...let us know how you're doing! +++++++++++++++++++ Maura

08-10-2006, 11:15 AM	#10 (permalink)
Cibele Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 426	If I were there I would go for a walk with you too Leslie... here in Kansas is so hot and I really did not want to be at work today! positive vibes for you....