My life revolves around a baby,,,, his doesn't

[Kat1980]

This is a looooooooong weekend. Although I tried to make the best of it(not teking temps and promising myself not to test) I failed. I simply can not invite friends and have a "couple" of drinks with them as dh does.

He wants to have a baby and all but I feel like I'm the only one putting the extra effor/emotion into it.

He just thinks if it was meant to be it will be.

Does anyone feel the same?

[BC-Maura]

Oh, Kat, I'm sorry that you and dh are on two different pages. You are not the first one -- not at all! When we were ttc, I was DEFINITELY more obsessed than dh was. He cared a lot about having a baby, but it didn't consume him like it did me. I was the one obsessing over charts and lines on tests. I was the one who would crash each month that it didn't work out for us. By the end of our ttc (3 years with 3 losses), he was much more engaged, but I doubt he ever felt it as deeply on a day to day level. That's why I was glad to find FT (which I actually found the month before I finally conceived ds... and then I wished I'd found it earlier!). Nothing compares to finding other people who feel exactly like you do.

One thing that helped was that I kept talking to dh about it. It wasn't a conscious decision, but I couldn't shut up about it! And he is a great listener, with a lot of patience. So even though he didn't feel the same way I did at all times, it helped that he heard me out and was there through all of my obsessive agony!

I know a lot of people think, "if it's meant to be it will be." And maybe they're right on some level. But, don't let that stop you from actively doing ALL you can to make it happen if it can happen! Find out what might be cutting down on your chances for succcess and do whatever you can to maxmize your chances of success. For example, my diagnosis was recurrent pg loss. Had I not kept pushing for a cause of my m/cs, I might never have discovered my uterine septum. Once the RE found it and it was removed, I didn't have any trouble conceiving my two kids.

I hope you find your success!

{{{HUGS}}}

Best++++++++++++++
Maura

[sarahp]

kat....
's to you hon....i think that all of us become obsessed about IF and TTC. it's hard not to! i hope you and dh can talk it out and get on the same page. but, you'll always have FT to come to. that's why i love this place....it's so nice to have a place to talk about what we're going thru.

[Kat1980]

Thank you very much ladies. I don't know what I would do without this place..............CD 1 for me. AF was really mean this month. 7days of cramping, very sore bbs, high temp all the way to CD 1 and I felt really tired for the past few days and was hoping this was it. Oh well...........moving on...........

Thanks again,

Kathy

[BethIL]

Kat, hang in there sweetie! I think Leslie and I are married to twins, because I can ditto everything she has said.

Sit down and talk to your DH and explain to him what you are feeling and what it seems to you that he is feeling and how that makes you feel. Yeah, there's a lot of feeling going on but men are so very different in how they handle their emotions, so sometimes you just have to get it out there. It may not change how he acts, but it may give you some insight as to what he's truly feeling about the situation.

Good luck on this cycle hon and try to remember to smile!

[awbaby]

I feel the exact same way. My husband does that to me all the time and when I stress out he is always so calm. He always says I'm not worried about it it will happen. I feel like time is slipping away and like you I can not just have a few drinks and forget about it. I feel guilty every time I think about drinking. I feel for you. Hange in there we are here with ya.
angie

[BC-DKNY]

kat, i'm sorry AF showed. {{{hugs}}}

my dh is as laid back as they come. sometimes i think if he were any MORE laid back, he's have no pulse...LOL but the truth is, i'm the complete opposite, so he keeps me grounded to some degree.

of course i suffered from IF related OCD when we were TTC, and he was more "relaxed" about it. i think he wanted it as much as i did, but he was just more carefree about it. we tend to scoialize a lot with family/friends, and i was forever telling him don't drink, don't go in the hot tub, dont smoke that cigar, etc, etc.....cuz TTC was on my mind 24/7. i'm sure i drove him NUTS! he was very gracious about it, but i know he would've preferred a more "balanced" life of socializing and TTC at the same time.

i don' think mens desire is our less than ours, i think that we just make ourselves crazier than men do.

hang in there!!! we're all here to obsess with you anytime you want.

[Familyof2]

Originally Posted by BC-DKNY

of course i suffered from IF related OCD when we were TTC

LOL. That is so me!

Kat, I definitely feel that our ttc is an unbalanced burden. DH has altered his nutrition and lifestyle somewhat, but he doesn't think about IF as much as I do. I know he cares about it, but the truth is that most of the time-commitment is on us since ttc revolves around our schedules. The guys just have to show up and make a donation on the proper days.

I'm sorry about AF. How are you feeling today?

[Kat1980]

LOL You guys are awsome!!! Thanks for the laugh. I'm doing much better today, thanks to you all.

AF is a very rude @#$%. She always comes uninvited and when she is highly unexpected/unwanted, she makes the effort to make her presence very well remembered. Maybe this month I should invite her. Wait for her impatiently and this way she'll feel stupid and won't have the nerve to show up.

I could just hear my hubby say "Now there's my genius." You guys are right about me talking to him about these things but all the conversations in the world will not make him understand how I feel during the 2WW. I'm so happy I found this site.

(((((((hugs))))))))

[dreamenofbabies]

Big Hugs to you Kat, I think we've all been there feeling the way you are at one point or another in our journey ttc.

Nona