new to this board.. stupid question??

[rxgp]

Hi everyone, I usually post on the endometriosis board, let me fill you in quickly. I have a 5 year old I conceived no problem, benn trying 3 years for #2. I just had a lap 3 months ago, severe endo had to remove 1 tube. I was told my best chances naturally are in the next 6 months. Well were on month 4 and im losing hope. I am doing the opk, bmsing on that day, sometimes also the next day or 2 days later. Whats better. every day or every other day? should we not have intercourse before the window, for how long? I am desperate to maximize my chances, any advice would help! Also I always have to pee after intercourse, my hubby says Im probably eliminating his sperm, what do you guys think? I try to wait awhile but I cant just go to bed without peeing? I know this sounds silly but please help. im on cd8 now and I dont know when to start. Thanks and good luck to all.

[BC-DKNY]

hi rxgp....i'm sorry for your frustrations

when you say you BMS the first day, do you mean the first day you get a pos OPK? because a pos OPK could mean you O as late as 36-48 hours later. so you should continue BMS'ing until you're certain O has occurred. this is where temping comes in pretty handy.

BMS'ing everyday is fine as long as you're not dealing with any MF issues. if you are, then every other day is the recommendation.

we used to abstaind for the last 3-4 days leading up to O. it's not necessary, but that first BMS will pack a punch. but no more than 3-4 days because mens sperm rejuvinate more regularly when there's release on a regular basis. so abstaing for longer than that is counter productive.

peeing after intercourse is actually very important. it's important to clear out the ureathra afterward to minimize the occurrence of UTI's. however you don't have to get up instantly after sex. if you can stay horizantal for 20 minutes that's suffficient. you are not peeing out dh's sperm. those little guys start swimming north immediately. plus don't forget they weren't just depositied at the vaginal opening. they've already gotten a head start. so by the time you get up and pee, any "leakage" is just residual seminal fluid.

as for when to start....do you have an "average" O day? if so, when is it? i would start my OPK's based on when you usually O. i was a regular 14/15 day O'er so i never started testing any earlier that cd 11/12. if you're O day fluctuates, then i would start a couple of days before the earliest cd that you've O'ed. you may wind up using more sticks if you have an inconsistant O day, but better that than missing your surge.

try not to put so much stock into the "first six months." we tend to get stuck on those things and then make ourselves crazy with worry. just because you don't get pg by 6 mos, doesn't mean you won't get pg in month 7, KWIM?

best wishes! and let us know if we can help with anything else!

[Paeta]

First of all ditto to everything Dina said! Try not to stress out to much over it being the fourth month...I KNOW it is really hard but try doing a meditation or something every day and/or exercising to reduce stress. When our cortisol levels increase due to stress it may inhibit fertility so when people say "don't stress and you'll get PG" it is not ALWAYS true (trust me THAT I know!) but reducing stress can help.

We have sex every day through my fertile period...and every other day surrounding it...just in case b/c my ovulation is not regular. You could try that if there are no male fertility factors.

Not sure what meds (if any) you are on, but some can interfere with OPK results...just as a warning if you are on some meds to check that out.

About peeing...I always pee b/f sex and that allows me to lay down longer afterwards.

Good Luck!

[rxgp]

Thank u both so much for your help, im not on any medication, and Dina by day 1 I meant +opk. I do not think we have any male factor problems, we did conceive before and we had a postcoital test which was good. The RE was confident he was not the problem although we did not have a semen analysis. So I think I will try every day around time of O and every couple of days otherwise. I think ive been waiting for that O and abstaining for too long before that. Thanks u guys really helped and I gotta start going back to the gym. Its hard not to stress b/c the RE says severe endo could come back quickly and we dont know how long my good tube will be good. Also I just came from a baby shower today and went to another one yesterday. People ask me all the time when is your 2nd coming?? Any good answers?

[BC-DKNY]

oh i hated those stupid questions. one thing i learned from IF was not to comment on ppl's parental staus, or lack of it.

depending on who asked, i usually just said we're working on it and we'll definitely let you know when we have some news.

i wish you all the best!!

[Hollywood126]

I always tell them - Nine months after I get pg!!

[BC-Maura]

Hi and welcome to the bb! I can't add to the excellent comments from Dina, Paeta and Hollywood, but I wanted to wish you good luck!

Hope to see you around (but that your stay here is short and sweet!)....

Best++++++++++++
Maura

[rxgp]

Thanks all Hollywood I really like your answer, Im using it!!