Too Late?

[Lovey1226]

Hello All! I have to say I have not posted on this side of FT. My husband and I have been dealing with infertility for 6 years now, and I tended to post on the IVF and Loss boards... ANYWAY... An oppurtunity has fallen into our laps. DH and I have discussed adoption for about 2 years now, but we were always tentative to jump in due to cost and the waiting game we hear to much about.

Then yesterday, a family member phoned us to say a girl at church is 19, PG and wants to give the baby up for adoption. Our family member called us immediately to ask if we were interested. WELL OF COURSE WE ARE!

So, I know they are asking for a letter and profile on us, which I am trying to whip up. But, in all honesty, are we to far behind in the adoption game to even consider this? I mean we have not talked to a lawyer or even had a home study. The baby would be due in July. Providing she chooses us, could this work out? We live in Ohio, since I know the state laws are different, any one have any advice?

Thanks in advanced for reading!

-Kim

[tstodghill]

From what I hear, they can complete a home study in a hurry if your situation deems it necessary, so, I wouldn't say that it is too late. Just get busy finding someone to do it for you. I have a friend here in Texas that just adopted a little girl, and they did it their self...filled out all of the paper work and everything, and it only cost them $350.00. (Don't ask me how, I am still trying to wriggle the details from them)


I wish you the best of luck!

[lleva99]

We adopted our dd in a very similar way. A friend of ours from church called us one Sunday morning before service and told us that her friends daughter-in-law was pregnant and making an adoption plan, were we interested? Hello! Of course we were! This was in April and she was 18 weeks pregnant. It sounds like this girl is only about 8 weeks along so you've got a LOOONG wait and plenty of time. We contacted our attorney and a homestudy agency. We had our homestudy done plenty in advance and our attorney had our adoption petition to the courts before Emma was even born. We finished up and just waited and waited and waited for her to make her grand entrance. Finally she came, right on time, but gosh that was a long wait for us! You are way early if anything, definately not too late! Good luck, this is the best way to do an adoption, definatley the cheapest!!! Emma's adoption cost us about $4,000 all said and done and all that was covered by my employers adoption assistance, but if it hadn't been it would've been covered by the federal adoption tax credit which is about $11,000 this year!

[nicci]

Our homestudy was done in like 3 months. so it can be done..good luck

[Gift0802]

You have plenty of time. We completed our homestudy in a little over a month. You just have to be willing to do a lot of work in a little bit of time (even though with this much time to wait, you don't have to do it super fast). Best wished with this......I hope this little one is meant to be yours!!

[HopesPromise]

You are way early if anything, definately not too late! Good luck, this is the best way to do an adoption, definatley the cheapest!!!

So true!!! This is the ideal way to adopt, I think!!! You are certainly not too late!! Our dd fell into our laps too! We only had 6 weeks from the time we found out about the pg bm until our dd was born!! We hadn't even really discussed adoption yet, but knew it was going to be our next route someday. Well, we rushed into action!! We hired an adoption lawyer and social worker to do the homestudy and all the paperwork. They were great and got everything done in time!!!

Good luck and please keep us posted!!

[HopesPromise]

I just sticky-ed the thread about our stories. Please add yours!

[pepper]

Whip up a profile and a letter but wait to contact an adoption lawyer and/or a homestudy agency until you have been chosen and have spoken with her and you feel confident she is going to place. It can definitely be done if she chooses you. Good Luck!

[Lovey1226]

Thanks for all of your support!! Here is a little update.....

We sent our letter, within 4 days of hearing about the "situation." The day the prospective BM (is that what I should call her??) received it, she sent me an email about how open we felt open adoption was. Of course I answered her back, very truthfully. Then I heard nothing... which I guess is normal. So, the next week (about 6 days after her getting the letter), I emailed her and invited her to talk over tea or coffee or something.

You could have knocked me over with a feather, she accepted and called to make a time and decide a place. So, I was able to meet with her. She is very sweet, but still... she's 18, and "thinks" she's an adult. She cracked me up when she told me her plan of eventually planning to marry a rich man. In my head, I'm thinking best of luck

Anyway, we chatted for 2 hours. I figured if she hated me, she easily could have bailed in about 30 minutes. So...that was on 1-25. So, on 1-28, I sent her a thank you note for taking the time to meet with me.

I have not heard anything since, but I am still hopeful. She stated she was not impressed with any profiles from her agency, and really appreciated how our letter was addressed and written especially for her. So, basically we are still waiting. She wants to limit her search to 2 families and decide from there. Again, in my head I am thinking, stringing along 2 couples for God knows how long is tough for the couples.

Therefore, DH and I are trying not to obsess (which is very difficult) about this possible gift from heaven (who knew heaven was an 18 year old that is bummed about having to miss her senior prom because she's accidentally PG?). So, we wait. And during our wait we are going to go ahead with the home study.

Thanks again for all your advice! You ladies are WONDERFUL!!!

-Kim

[HopesPromise]

It sounds like everything is going as good as it possibly could. Your situation sounds strinkingly similarily like ours!! I remember after we made contact with our BM the hardest part was just waiting to KNOW. It seemed too good to be true and we kept thinking we needed confirmation again that yes, we were chosen! But what we needed to do was learn to give her space, and wait for everything to fall into place. And it did just that!