info please

[kellyrn]

We have been ttc for about 5 yrs now. Me 36, dh 37. We have done clomid, IUI, IVF x 3. All BFN. $ has officially ran out, insurance is tapped. Don't know what avenue I will be traveling, but I am interested to find out if we did decide to persue adoption (my job will actually reimburse you like 8k to do it!) What would be step #1?
What things should I consider getting in order now?
Domestic or International? (correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't domestic more $?)
I know it takes quite awhile to get into, which is why I think I should consider getting on a list now.
Any info that you guys have for me would be great! Thanks ladies!

[maj90]

Hi Kelly,
First let me tell you how sorry I am for your bfns. I have BTDT and know how hard it can be.
Not sure I can be alot of help but we chose domestic because we wanted a newborn. I am not sure the differences in money between the 2 but I do know that there are alot of families here that went thru domestic that were not very expensive. We chose an out of state agency. We were approved by our agency in March '03 and DD was born in January '04 and we did have a failed match in August so it wasn't too long for us. We were also blessed to be at her birth. But you may want to go on the International adoption board and get some answers over there as well. With adoption, you have a lot of options. I know it is so overwhelming at 1st but hopefully these ladies here can give you some great advise.
I wish you luck

[Rudi]

Hi Kelly,

If you are considering adoption, I would suggest doing as much research as you can before committing to any agency (read and ask questions here, talk to people who have adopted, etc.) When I was researching, I also read a lot on www.adoption.com and www.rainbowkids.com.

The 8k adoption credit at your job is great. Also, when we adopted in 2001, there was a 10k tax credit which helped us greatly. Not sure if that is still in effect, but definietly something to check out. You can probably find out info abou this on the IRS website: www.irs.gov

I don't think domestic is necessarily more $ than international, but it can be. It really depends on several factors.

We adopted from Guatemala, but I wouldn't really recommend that to anyone right now (as there is some uncertainty in recent months about whether Guatemalan adoptions will remain open). Each country's requirements vary, but in our case, the first step was getting a homestudy done and also collecting documents (official copies of birth certificates, marriage certificate, proof that we don't have criminal records, certified letters from our doctor stating that we didn't have any issues that would prevent us from being able to parent a child, etc.)

Adoption often requires a leap of faith and can involve a roller coaster of emotions, but in the end is so worth it IMHO.

If you have any specific questions, I know the ladies on the Domestic Adoption or International Adoption boards will be happy to try to answer them and share their experiences.

Good luck to you with whatever you decide!

[Cali]

The initial question, of course, is what you asked yourself - domestic or international. We initially wanted to go with a DA because I really wanted the newborn experience, so I began requesting info packets from everywhere. And emailing agencies all sorts of questions. In the end there were several things that turned us off from DA so then we started looking into IA and again requested tons of info packets. When it came to choosing a country we just looked into each country's requirements, then went with what we felt right for us.

When it came down to choosing an agency, I asked people on this forum (I did a lot of PM's, too) which agency they chose and would they go with them again, what they liked or disliked about the agency they used. For us, it was also important for us to see a layout of all required fees and what each fee went toward and that the agency we chose had been around for awhile.

When we finally gave up treatments, we also had been TTC for about 5 years also. So sorry for all your failed cycles. Feel free to PM me if you have another questions.

Kendra
Waiting to adopt from China LID 3/22/07

[SHANNONK]

HI im just starting my adoption process. I am using Catholic Charities for my adoption agency. They go by 11% of your yrly income. then you pay your legal fee.s for domestic adoption.

I checked into another adoption agency yesterday. The social worker told me it was going to be $27,000 for a domestic adoption.

Guatemala i think Cost $35,000

I was told China is $25,000.

I think alot depends on what agnecy you use.

Im using Community Maturnity Services In Albany NY I will be paying about $8000 before legal fees. They have an open domestic adoption and they do international as well. I assume that internation is more expensive.

I have ben ttc 16 yrs.

I have done 7 ivf cycles, 13 clomid cycles over 30 iui. 9 cycles of femera, 7 miscarrages and 1 ectopic i lost quads. I was just refused for hte integramed program.

We have no more money for IVF. I have contourted tubes so IUI wont help me. pcos,
endo
adhesians
etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc

The best thing for you to do is speak to alot of different agencies and see which one fits your needs the most.
I wish you the best. HUGS>

[bigdipper]

Just chiming in on the cost question. We did domestic infant adoption twice. Both CC, healthy babies that we brought home from the hospital at birth. Both of our adoptions cost a tiny bit less than $10,000 each. It very much depends on the agency you choose. Our agency was very small, which can increase your wait time, but the cost was right for us. But there are local agencies around us where the cost for domestic can be over $20K. You just need to "shop around" regardless of domestic or international.

My greatest education was to look in my local phone book, call every agency in it and have an information packet sent to me. After reading through all of them, I had an idea what questions to ask and to whom. That helped us a ton. I got most of what we needed to move forward based on the information from those packets.

Good luck!

[HopesPromise]

How is the process going? Any progress deciding your path?

[SHANNONK]

NO not yet. We just found out that our dentist never sent bills to the insurance company for 3 yrs. So I may have to pay 3 yrs of dental bills. Keep in mind John had $4500. in one spring. so we owe that plus what ever. I just paid $200 for cleaning and exam, and xray. Tomorrow is another $300. I am not sure How We will afford IVF> Johns working overtime. Then our power and gas bill went up $200. more than usual. We have alot to sort out. Then we have to buy sperm, etc etc etc.

[HopesPromise]

Shannonk.......... I can not believe that about your dentist!!! That is absurd! It doesn't seem right at all that you should be responsible for those bills. It was not your fault that the dentist did not submit them.I would definitley be fighting this and appealing it until it was sorted out so that I was not held financially responsible. I know how difficult it is to try to find the means to pay for what we so despartley want...a family. To top that with what you are dealing with the dentist is just frustrating. We didn't use an agency, so we paid for things with our adoption as they came up...which made it a little easier than having to hand over xxx amount of money all at once.

[Cali]

Isn't there a statute of limitations on when medical offices have to get bills sent to the insurance company? Once my Dr's office didn't submit a claim within the time frame set by my insurance company so insurance didn't pay and then the Dr's office tried to collect from me but I wasn't reponsible for payment because because the fault was the Dr's office in not filing the claim within the statute of limitations. ShannonK, hope this is the case for you!

Kendra