Is it next to impossible to adopt a healthy white baby in the united states? The last time I ever heard of anyone doing that was like in the 60's or if they were superstar actors.
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11-26-2008, 04:13 AM #1annie12350Registered Userlife sucks
USA- white healthy baby adoption?~Annie
FET 2 embies to 1st time GS 5/26/11 6/3 BFN
04/07/09 JAE at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix
11/08 FET (2)
10/06 Unexplained loss
11-26-2008, 06:50 AM #2lisa in veniceBoard Coordinatorhas no status.
Not at all impossible. The last year that stats were kept over 200,000 adoptions happened and about half of those children were the premium HWI. We are a mixed race couple specifically requesting kids with AA in the mix and we were offered two HWI. I think a big factor is where you look and the quality of your outreach. South FL would probably not be the best place to search but Norther FL might be. The majority of infant adoptions are of CC babies, that is still the demographic majority in this country to just statistically there are more placements. The issues comes up with many adopting families only being open to that so even if those represent the majority of babies, those of us who can be more flexible have an advantage but that can be mitigated with a good adoption professional and good targeted outreach.Lisa
Mom to Nathan (23) Anna Rachel (20) Sam (13) and Miranda (9)
Nola the Ridgeback/ Pit Bull mix and all cuddle bug
Roxy Hart the Chihuahua/Yorkie watch dog
Nemesis the long haired tabby who IS the boss of all of us
Nox Juju Black shelter kitty who adopted us all
11-27-2008, 08:38 AM #3
Sorry this is so long...
I agree there are healthy white babies being adopted in the US every day, but I would caution you... if you are unwilling to accept a bmom who has ever drank or smoked (or used marjuana or other drugs) during a pregnancy that you will have a much harder time. There are some birthmoms who never drank or smoked during pg but I would guess they are the minority. Waiting for a birthmom who has never smoked/drank/used during pg may mean a much longer wait time for you.
At the same time, that doesn't mean you can't bring home a healthy baby. You need to do your research, determine the extent to which drugs or alcohol have a lasting effect on a child, and see what you are willing to accept. Our agency required us to have a pediatrician before we adopted, and it helped quite a bit to talk to a professional about our health issues and concerns. Our pedi also has many adopted children in her practice so she has first hand experience watching these kids grow up. As an aside, when I met with another pedi before we adopted I had asked him about exposure to drugs/alcohol and what level would he feel comfortable with (occasional drink, marjuana, cocaine, etc) and he said "none." I thought great, that was really helpful... yes in an ideal world all of the children placed for adoption would nave no exposure but it is not realistic. Needless to say we did not choose him as our pedi.
We did alot of soul searching and researched many web sites (a list is posted on the domestic adoption board). The long term effects of alcohol are actually worse than many drugs, and these babies are usually fine. We had determined what we were willing to accept and when the situation presented itself we were prepared.
At the end of the day, there are many married couples trying to have babies, do everything right, and have a baby born with medical issues. We take the same risk when we adopt, except we have less control over the bmom and how she takes care of herself. Most birthmoms are under extremely stressful life situations or they would not be placing... I call adoption a "leap of faith" ... if this is what you want, you have to be ready to jump into a situation that you will not know everything and cannot control, but know that if you do your research and go with your heart you will make the right decision and your baby will find you.
Our DD is now 4 years old, the light of our lives, and she is very healthy... most people do not know that she was adopted, that she was born 5.5 weeks early, weighed 4.5 lbs when she came home, had some exposure to smoking, etc during pg, had lungs that were not fully developed, needed to be on a ventilator for the first 24 hours and spent 15 days in NICU... but she is now in the 80th percentile for height, 25% for weight, is smart, funny and a wonderful kid.
I am not trying to scare you in any way, but tell you the reality as I see it. You can adopt a healthy baby, but you have to do your research and be prepared. I wish you all the best of luck... feel free to post questions to other adoptive parents on the parenting after adoption board, since this board is not frequented as much. And also, of course, the domestic adoption board.
11-27-2008, 05:35 PM #4TeresaQRegistered Userhas no status.
Hi Annie, Where in SW fla are you. I am in Cape Coral. As a former Foster parent for Childrens Home Society in SW Fla, I have seen several HWI adopted by people. Its not imposible, It just takes time.
Mom to David 12-adpted at 2 1/2, home nov 15th 97
Danielle 10, adopted at 8 mo (bio-siblings) home 5/15/98
Niccol 7, adopted at 10 mo. Home 12/15/00
Ethan Tian Li dob 12/23/05 adopted 21 mo, home 10/15/07
11-27-2008, 09:26 PM #5HopesPromiseRegistered Userhas no status.
As the others have said, it is not impossible!!! Please don't lose hope!! We did a private adoption and our dd is now almost 5 years old.Peggy Jeff
Princess Cora 5 years old (miracle of domestic adoption)
11-30-2008, 09:26 AM #6bigdipperRegistered Userhas no status.
It's certainly not impossible. I've done it twice in the last 6 years and I'm neither a celebrity nor rich. It sounds like you are at the very very beginning stages of considering adoption. I'm going to ditto everything SSH said, you need to do a lot of research, but yes it's very possible.Annette
Mallory Born Sleeping 2/02 ( )
Owen Domestic adoption 9/02
Alden Domestic adoption 5/07
12-01-2008, 02:16 PM #7walrysRegistered Userhas no status.
We are in the process of adopting a healthy full-caucasian baby. We were picked through open adoption and a placement agency.
We were very much willing and excited to adopt a boy or girl of any race, we just happened to be chosen by a caucasian birthmom. It was relatively quick. We didn't even have our homestudy completed yet. The agency won't present "drop in the lap" situations without a completed homestudy.
We went with an agency because we wanted to adopt a baby < 6 mos. with limited drug or alcohol exposure in utero. There is a difference between prolonged exposure to chronic substance abuse and brief exposure to recreational or experimental substance use/abuse. I would definitely consider fost-adopt next time, though.
Good luck with your adoption plans.
12-02-2008, 12:12 PM #8
As you can see from my avatar, we did it almost 5 yrs ago. We were told that the wait would be very long for a healthy caucasian but we only had to wait 12months and that was with a failed adoption in between. Our DD was born in OKMary Ann
mom to Tabitha 1/13/04
our Blessing thru DA
Before you were born: I dreamed of you, I imagined you, I prayed for you. Now that you're here: I hope for you, I love you and I thank God everyday for you. -Linda LaTourelle
12-02-2008, 06:53 PM #9
Yes, it is possible. Although we were open to many different ethnicities, we were chosen by caucasian birthparents. We matched with them two weeks after completing our homestudy and dd was born 6 weeks later. Our youngest is Filipina/Caucasian and has also been very healthy other than usual kid stuff. Both our girls came home as newborns.
04-02-2009, 02:54 AM #10sttawardnasRegistered Userhas no status.
have you found one yet. i know a lawyer who places all the time and does it right.
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