Chances of domestic adoption over age 40

[OldEggs]

First, to give a little background I am 43 and dh is 39. We have 2 biological children (ages 4 & 6) and would like to add to our family. After failed infertility treatment we are seriously considering adopting internationally, mainly because I thought you couldn't adopt domestically over age 40. A few people I have talked to recently told me this isn't true.

So what are our chances? Anyone out there adopt domestically over age 40 and how long did the process take? Thanks for any input/advice.

[tstodghill]

It is wonderful news that you are looking to give a child a loving home! Are you looking to adopt an infant or a toddler, or an older child?

I found this on the net...just googled domestic adoption over 40....Hope it helps!

Domestic Adoptions
In the past, the upper age limits for adopting parents followed by domestic private agencies was set by a 40-year "rule of thumb": adopting parents shouldn't be more than 40 years older than the child they wanted to adopt. Today, that age limit is creeping up as the Baby Boomer generation changes definitions and perceptions about age, health, physical limitations, and life span. More and more agencies are encouraging older persons to consider infant adoption.

Adoption Associates, Inc.
Many older persons with grown children are encouraged to adopt from the foster care system, and especially urged to consider older children and/or children with disabilities because their past parenting experience has equipped them with skills to meet challenges.

(http://adopting.adoption.com/child/o...-adoption.html)

[dancing lilly]

don't let your age discourage you! it may depend on the agency (or country if you go international). there are many "over 40" at our agency. the wait is something that can't be predicted but, your age should not be a factor unless you are pushing 70!

[BC-lisa in venice]

Our younger two came home when we were 38 and 42. It seemed at all of the adoption classes and stuff we were right i the middle of the age spread with some couples (and singles) considerably older then we were. I have a neighbor who adopted an infant as a singe mom at 55. There are plenty of agencies that have age restrictions but the good news is that there are literally hundreds of agencies in this country and MOST don't have restrictions on age as long as you are healthy.


lisa

[ssh]

Welcome to a fellow New Englander! I say go for it. I was 39 when we adopted our DD and DH was 40. When we started with our agency they told us we were on the younger side! I have a friend who just adopted last year domestically and she was 45 (almost 46) when her baby came home. I would research the agency you choose and ask them about the issue of age, but honestly I think it is no big deal. I remember talking to our agency and they had couples in their 50s.

I think it will especially help because you already have young children, so you know what you are "getting into." Our agency tells all couples between 12-18 months, but it can be much shorter.

Best of luck and if you have any additional questions, feel free to post! This board is not frequented as much as the Domestic and Waiting boards, but you can also always post on the Parenting after Adoption to get opinions from women who have been there.

[linda42]

I am 42 and my dh is 40. We have a four year old biologically but after if treatments I want to consider adoption. My dh is hesitant. Anyone know good agencys. We are limited financially and live upstate new york.
thanks so much

[Ziggy 64]

i am 44 and dh is 45; we adopted our ds in Jan via private atty,so it is possible domestically.

[SgtMom]

I was 38 and my dh 51 when our dd came home to us shortly after her birth (which we attended). My dh looks much younger than he is and is healthy. We enjoy a wonderful relationship with the bmom who is 30yrs younger than dh! We were told that I was on the young side for adoptive parents and dh was on the middle to older side and it did not stop us. What matters is the the bmom trusts you will be good parents for the baby.

Take care,
Kate

[Elly'sMom]

We did it last year - both 41....

[Kastara]

Another New Englander here! I was 40 when we adopted our son. He's now 8. It took 8 months from signing with the agency to getting the call. Age had nothing to do with the birthmother's choice (we were chosen after the birth). She liked the fact that we regularly attended church. We are adopting again but from Haiti. Circumstances, not age made this decision for us. Our daughter was in a photolisting for special needs kids.